The Perils of Online Chat
By AnjaP
@Rollo1 (16676)
Boston, Massachusetts
September 17, 2015 10:07pm CST
Back in the late 90s and early 2000's, before Facebook came along, chat ruled online social media. There were those who used AOL chat because they used AOL. I hated AOL. My chat of choice was Yahoo Chat.
And I have to say, chat was a wild and woolly world. Although it's totally possible that people on sites like myLot and Bubblews are telling you great big lies about their identities and their lives, I am absolutely sure it doesn't happen with the regularity that it happened on chat.
You had to be quick on chat, everything was real time. And at least half of everyone you talked to on chat was pretending to be something they weren't. And why not? On chat you could be a hero rather than a zero. Some people just liked fooling others, some liked being trolls, some preferred to bully people and chat was a place to do just that.
In my time I met an American woman who pretended to be a German obstetrician who was at first pregnant with one child, then nearly immediately after giving birth to that one, pretended to be pregnant again with twins. She also pretended to be her own best friend. I met a women who pretended to be dying of cancer. When she finally decided she was tired of that persona, she died and came back as her daughter. And those were the harmless liars.
I met a man who used his wife's medical condition to get women to feel sorry enough for him to be willing to engage in cyber sex with him. I know that some people still believe he was the dedicated husband he pretended to be, but I ended up counseling two of his victims.
It was a terrible world, but also very immediate and exciting. I made some good friends there and am friends with several of them to this day, having married one of them and met two of them in person. I do think that my experience in chat has given me a good nose for liars and pretenders, and since I hate to be fooled, I am very suspicious in my online dealings.
Did anyone here ever engage in online chat or do you still chat on other venues like PalTalk, etc?
12 people like this
7 responses
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
18 Sep 15
I used to during my high school years - that was when IRC was THE thing. I remember once I was chatting with someone who turned out to be a hacker. My computer was hacked - fortunately the PC I had back then had no confidential stuff or whatever - and it freaked me out like crazy. That was it for me. 
Now I only use apps for instant messaging.
Now I only use apps for instant messaging.3 people like this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
18 Sep 15
i never liked chat.for one,it always hung up my computer,for 2 friends would want to yak all night and i had work..
AOL was totally worse.the best thing they ever did was add PM blocking.the weirdos that came out of the woodworks on that were something else..
2 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
18 Sep 15
I married one and divorced that one eventually, getting fooled not really by his lying, but by my overlooking some things I guess I thought I could change( was young and dumb), and married a second such one, but this one has lasted ten years now, so lol! I often Roleplayed in those chats, so we all knew that none of us where what we said we were. I did get to know some of the key players and on and off, wonder what happened to the ones i became friends with.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16676)
• Boston, Massachusetts
18 Sep 15
Was it a chat specifically for role-playing? I have some good friends to this day - in real life and on Facebook, etc - that I met in chat. They were real people who weren't pretending. I don't think you can form real relationships while role-playing. But I don't think you have to tell everyone everything while online, either. I just like what I do reveal to be generally truthful. Then I don't have to remember which story I told to whom. That's far too much work.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16676)
• Boston, Massachusetts
19 Sep 15
@Jessicalynnt Well, that's a little different. In that case you were supposed to pretend to be someone or something else and everyone knew that was the idea. No one felt lied to or deceived.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
19 Sep 15
@Rollo1 yeah, it was basically a medieval/fantasy tavern, we did talk out of chara some eventually, but that had to be in private messages or other formats, everything in the Inn room had to be in chara. It was fun and I became a MUCH faster typer. Helps me create on command and think on my feet.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16676)
• Boston, Massachusetts
18 Sep 15
People don't think they will get enough attention being themselves. They would rather be someone more interesting and dramatic. And they get a kick out of fooling people, a sense of power. Liars always think they are smarter than you are.
1 person likes this
@silvermist (19701)
• India
21 Sep 15
I was not too much into chat.Still,occasionally I used Yahoo chat.After some days I gave up.As you said we do meet many liars there and most often you can easily find them out.
