My grandson

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My grandson will be turning 13 next month. He has ODD which is Oppositional Defiant Disorder. He can be a real snot and extremely hard to deal with sometimes. When he was quite young(about 5)he would have horrible fits where he would drop down on the floor turning around and around screaming at the top of his lungs. If you tried to pick him up he would kick and writhe and not let you. All we could do is stand at either side of him and keep him from hurting himself. I got him in immediately and had him diagnosed like I did with my granddaughter.(That's another story) He was diagnosed at about 5 years old and started on medication. His bio dad was out of the picture from the time he was a toddler to the age of 8 when he decided to have him over for the holidays. That and a few other times was all the visits except for promises that never happened. He pays child support for a few months and then is not employed for a period of time. So I feel my grandson has that to deal with. Poor little guy. Also, in July 2015 his dad sent a text real late one night that we caught the next day. It was hard to make out and I think he was drunk. He was telling us that we need to get legal help because he was going to get his son. We all laugh at this because of his history but it still causes some anxiety when we think about it. His behavior isn't as bad now since we have him on the right medications. His attitude and behavior now seems to me to be more that of a normal teenager. He seems much better adjusted and doing what he knows he needs to do on a daily basis. This wasn't the case about a year ago. In the late summer of 2012 was mad at his mom one day and started hitting her with these plastic sticks he had. I called the authorities and he was charged. He had to do community service, write his mom a letter and do a poster for the probation officer. He was on probation for about seven months. His anger and defiance was bad for five or six years. It is weird but it is like living with two different people. (It is the same way with my daughter) He can be very sweet, kind, caring, etc. But, when he is in an ODD funk he can be a little hellion. . I live here with my daughter and grandson. My daughter has asked me to be here and help her. I recently started making plans to move because I just couldn't stand it and wanted to get out of the darkness and chaos and live a normal life. I realized, with the help of my daughter's PSR, that I couldn't leave. That my family needed me. I was the glue that held the family together. You see it isn't just my grandson but my daughter is bi-polar and has a slight learning disability. I have been her advocate al of her life'. She is on medication and each time it is tweaked the least bit she will go into a manic phase. They are awful. She acts like a teenager and I am last to hear of what is going on. The household schedule goes out the window and things become very chaotic. She is irresponsible, extremely narcissistic and if I try to ask her what to expect she flies into a tizzy and says I am treating her badly and we just don't get along at all during this time. My grandson pays the penalty. He becomes clingy and I can't help him at all. Has to be mom. I have been told by friends, counselors, family members, etc. that I should think of myself and I should move out and have a life of my own. But, my family (my daughter and my grandkids are all the family that is left now) is my life. My grandson has a lot going for himself. His mom loves him but she also has a learning disability and this mental issue to deal with. She is not able to do this on her own. But, how do you know if you don't give her the chance you may ask? Her PSR, that has been seeing her about three years, knows that she wouldn't be able to do this on her own. And, the PSR that my grandson had for more than five years has documented the need for my daughter to have on going help in the home. She has be reminded of things, she has to have some one here to help her through situations that come up with my grandson and in everyday life. She doesn't always understand what is expected of her and what her responsibility as a mother is at times. If something happened and I wasn't here to help her she could lose my grandson and then she would be a basket case(me too) and in a mental facility. And how would I deal with the guilt? So, anyway long story shortened a bit. My grandson loves to pay games online. He was into Angry Birds and I am sure several others in the past few years. But, now he is into Mind Craft. I recently let him go ahead and down load it. He plays for a couple of hours every day and has a couple of friends that play it too. It is really a pretty neat game. He makes his own house, has animals he can make, there are a couple portals where he can go to a completely different area to battle foes. But, what I am getting at is that my grandson seems to be really making some good choices so far in his young life. I mean that he could be running around with some kids who weren't good for him at all and doing a lot of naughty stuff. He could be doing a lot worse. He is a good hearted little guy and can be very nice to be around. He enjoys putting things together and has a lot of Legos. From the time he was about ten he could take things apart and put them back together. He can fix electrical devices too. He is amazing. He has never had anyone teach him these things. He just knows. He wants to be an engineer when he grows up. And, he got awards last year in school for his improvement, and scholastic achievements throughout the year. He was in a special class and this year he in Ascent in middle school. Next one is about my daughter