Getting costly and precious gift from a friend
@chaitra001 (3278)
Bangalore, India
September 24, 2015 5:27am CST
Hey friends, I have a best friend from my school days but now she is settled in a village after she got married. She visits me once in a year or so. This time she gave me a pair of gold earrings for my birthday. I was bit hesitant to take such a costly gift from her cause I know she is not working and for finances had to depend on her husband but she insisted much on accepting it and I had to obey her orders cause she is my life time best friend.
So I am planning to get her something for her for her birthday next June. What do you think guys. Suggest me.
6 people like this
8 responses
@vandana7 (99122)
• India
24 Sep 15
I too dislike expensive gifts. They are given for reasons such as a) to push us under obligation; b) to show that we are in some way poor; or c) To gain favors from us. I understand your dilemma. It is for this reason, I always keep something or the other at home so that I can give others a return gift.
2 people like this
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
24 Sep 15
Hey Vandana how are you doing dear?
Yes in others case these things might be true but my friend I dont think she has any such intentions.
1 person likes this
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
25 Sep 15
@vandana7 yes you are right. Let me see how this goes on.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (99122)
• India
24 Sep 15
@chaitra001 ..sometimes it is just the need to tag on to somebody they consider to be superior in some way. That would be the fourth reason. You know the fans and fawning kind of affections. Even that can at times become inconvenient.
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (69390)
• Germany
24 Sep 15
If you follow Kchitij's advice, your friend will give you an even costlier present in two years' time. And then what? What will you buy her? This is absurd. If she's really such a good friend as yiou're claiming, you should have an honest conversation with her. Either only small presents or none at all.
2 people like this
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
24 Sep 15
Makes sense. I need to talk to her regarding this then otherwise this might keep continuing for years.
1 person likes this
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
24 Sep 15
@MALUSE She wants me to visit her village and stay for a day with her and her family along with my family so that the kids also gets along together so I will plan for that soon.
@MALUSE (69390)
• Germany
24 Sep 15
@chaitra001 Maybe inviting her to a fine restaurant could be a gift?
2 people like this
@vathsala30 (3732)
• India
25 Sep 15
If you so wish to gift her something useful then u can try with mobile phone, or golden ring
1 person likes this
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
25 Sep 15
Hi Vathsala Aunty! How are you? May be a smart phone?? she has a mobile but not smart phone.
1 person likes this
@vathsala30 (3732)
• India
26 Sep 15
@chaitra001
Yesss, smartphone is the ideal gift but nothing can be so costlier than your wonderful friendship
1 person likes this
@mkrnex (785)
• Bangalore, India
24 Sep 15
Seems like you are in spot of bother. She might think you may not like her in equal measures or the opposite. It's her mentality which counts as I have seen both. Some misunderstanding may creep due to inequality of gifts in long time. Arguments over gifts may start indirectly. So, if you can give her an equal gift, if you can't talk to her and make it clear to her that "You cherish her, but there is no need of costly gifts between us and let us keep it simple".
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
24 Sep 15
She never compares with the gift that is for sure. i know her from almost 15 years. But I want to gift her something which she can keep for life time.
@mkrnex (785)
• Bangalore, India
24 Sep 15
@chaitra001 Then it is not gold. It must be something else! Some childhood memories you can frame it and give her which cherishes your friendship.
1 person likes this
@ashuli (1196)
• India
24 Sep 15
Well, if I'm get stuck in such situation i will never accept such costly gift, as in years to come, this may become a chain reaction, which wont be good for anyone of us.
May be my friend will not like this, but i will try my best to make her understand its implications... So, a lunch/dinner at some restaurant should be fine
2 people like this
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
24 Sep 15
yes but she did made me to accept it I was landed in such a situation. she said she will never talk to me if I dont take. I dont want to lose her so I had to take it.
1 person likes this
@Kchitij2007 (445)
• Pune, India
24 Sep 15
i take it then that you are earning? You may giver her a pendant made of gold and of the same weight as your ear rings. Knowing the rate of gold these days, it is obvious that she holds you in high regard and if you don't want to burden yourself with the obligation of owning something so expensive. You may want to repay her kindness in equal measure
1 person likes this
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
24 Sep 15
seems to be good idea. Will plan for a costly gift to her.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
26 Sep 15
I understand that reasons behind giving you costly gift could be one of the reasons mentioned by our dear friend @ vandana7.
I think you need to return the favour by giving her some gold ornament of approximate same price so that she could understand that you could also give her costly gifts.
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
28 Sep 15
Her gift to you is wonderful and generous but don't feel obliged to match it in financial value in getting a gift for her. Don't go beyond what you can afford. I'm sure she will appreciate whatever you get her. Good luck.
