Caught Between Suggesting And Private Messaging
By hereandthere
@hereandthere (45628)
Philippines
November 19, 2015 1:06pm CST
Have you ever read something here and instantly thought of someone you want to suggest it to, but as you scrolled and scrolled through your Followers list, you couldn't find their username?
Now I understand what others have said about this. If you followed someone but they didn't follow you back, you will never be able to suggest discussions to them (not even discussions from myLot staff).
And yet when I went to their profile and clicked the Send Message button, the message box opened up. It's strange that you are allowed to send a private message to someone who is not following you, but cannot suggest a discussion to them that you're sure they will enjoy.
I guess I have two options: tag them in that discussion or send a PM with just a link to the discussion, no message.
Have you ever been surprised by a PM?
Secondly, if myLot allowed us to suggest discussions even to those who are not following or connected to us, what would be the downside?
14 people like this
16 responses
@GoAskAlice (5863)
•
19 Nov 15
You will not be able to send a message to everyone you are not following. There is an option in your settings/account section that allows you to control who can send you messages. the options are as follows:
1. Anyone can message me, except for those I've blocked
2. Only those I follow can message me
3. No one can message me
5 people like this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
19 Nov 15
You know the real reason behind suggests is just that. If you love something and you think others will too then by all means send it out to the people who think will enjoy this.
I have sent out one suggestion and I do think it was a good one. I went back later on and saw how many people loved it. I had found a post in no response. I opened it and was blown away. I saw the talent this young woman had and the cake she made was out of this world. I have never seen anything like this before. I had to suggest this to other. I could of been wrong but I knew once they saw it they would feel like I did.
Then on the other hand I have received some suggestions - most of the time I have already been there and commented on them.
I think if you want to send out a suggestion to the person look first and make sure they haven\'t alerady erad this one and commented on it. It sure does help. It doesn't make me angry it only makes me laugh.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
20 Nov 15
oh, i've already sent suggestions before, like posts by admin. i've also suggested a post someone made about why we're here at mylot that already had a few response, but i felt more should read and it received even more. yes, i've seen the cake post and it reminded me of another self-taught filipina baker and cake decorator in london who does the same that used to be on bubblews. no, i don't mind suggestions. some i've already read, some i'm not interested in. no problem.
the situation here was i could not suggest the post to the mylotter in question because i'm following that mylotter but that mylotter is not following me. as i said above, if i really wanted that mylotter to see the post that i know that mylotter would really like, i could either tag them in that post or send the link via pm, but i wasn't sure how they would react since they did not follow me back.
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
20 Nov 15
@poehere i hesitate because if they didn't follow you back, sending them a pm somehow feels like you're jumping over the fence.
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
20 Nov 15
@hereandthere Yes I understand so I guess the only way is by PM to this person.
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
20 Nov 15
i have suggested admin posts before, and some of mine when it was allowed, but only to a few. i pm the lamb a lot and admin, too, and a us mylotter who were all kind enough to answer me. but what i (finally) discovered (which has been mentioned before) was you cannot suggest a post to someone who didn't follow you back.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
20 Nov 15
is that why I sometimes couldnt suggest something to someone! Well lol!
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
20 Nov 15
i guess that's how it's set up. i've seen it mentioned before but now it has sunk in. maybe, hopefully, they'll come across the post themselves.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
20 Nov 15
@hereandthere sad, but one can only hope. I so rarely suggest things.
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
22 Nov 15
@judyev yay! you found it! but you know what, if you decide to follow them in whatever discussions they participated in and interact with them there, you're helping them earn too.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (381739)
• Rockingham, Australia
22 Nov 15
@hereandthere It's finding their names that's the problem. They don't always seem to turn up in my 'following' list.
@JudyEv (381739)
• Rockingham, Australia
22 Nov 15
@hereandthere YES!! Oh, sorry for shouting. 
So at least that's a good start. If they're not posting I just need to keep 'talking' to others I guess.
So at least that's a good start. If they're not posting I just need to keep 'talking' to others I guess.1 person likes this
@much2say (57760)
• Los Angeles, California
27 Nov 15
My impression is that most people get overwhelmed with "suggestions" so they don't even bother with it. I don't mind them, but admit in most cases I cannot get to them (I can't even keep up as it is!! 
). There have been a few times where I tried to suggest and I too realized that some friends were not actually following me. I don't PM about suggestions unless super necessary - not sure if friends would appreciate it. I haven't gotten a PM like that - but I wouldn't mind if it's from friends I "know" (I wouldn't want suggestion PMs from random people I don't know).
). There have been a few times where I tried to suggest and I too realized that some friends were not actually following me. I don't PM about suggestions unless super necessary - not sure if friends would appreciate it. I haven't gotten a PM like that - but I wouldn't mind if it's from friends I "know" (I wouldn't want suggestion PMs from random people I don't know).1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
20 Nov 15
This is the edge of myLot with the other defunct site - we can PM one another should we have something to tell a friend . 
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
20 Nov 15
@hereandthere Yes, it's surprising when others would pm us indeed .
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
20 Nov 15
but we can't suggest a discussion to a member who is not following us
and sometimes you're surprised by some of the pm's you get (though i'm grateful the people i've pm'd accommodated me.)
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
20 Nov 15
it is, but it has its upside because i can pm someone when i have questions about the site even if they don't follow me
.@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
30 Nov 15
thanks for letting me know, maybe someday, but yeah, it's only possible when we're following each other.
1 person likes this
@MarshaMusselman (38865)
• Midland, Michigan
3 Dec 15
I rarely suggest posts to others. It's odd to me that both folks need to follow each other, but it's fine with me too. Now, I'll need to remember this if I ever do want to suggest something in the future and can't find the name of someone that I know I follow.
@Pattitude (1286)
• Newton, North Carolina
24 Nov 15
The trouble with Facebook is that if a non-friend messages you, it goes into their Others folder. Many never look in there, I try to remind myself to look in there every now and then.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
30 Nov 15
@ridingbet i just find it strange that we can pm everyone (and some people have said they received unpleasant pm's) and yet we can't suggest discussions that we know they'll be interested in because all along, they never connected/follow us.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
30 Nov 15
@ridingbet maybe you meant 'suggest' not post? a good example would be being able to suggest posts by mylot staff.
@ridingbet (66854)
• Philippines
30 Nov 15
@hereandthere really? I don't know about receiving unpleasant PM's from others, well, am just glad I don't get one. But I agree with you. why can't we post some topics that could elicit reactions from others, even if we are not connected?
@slund2041 (3314)
• United States
20 Nov 15
I am not surprised by them, and welcome them if you would every like to PM me.
@lokisdad (4226)
• United States
20 Nov 15
I have pm users never actually thought out the suggestions. I don't know why it's like that but I'm thinking that since you're night mutually following each other that a suggestion could be misunderstood.however pm is a form of communication that could lead to a friendship more than it would cause a problem.
