Stalin's jokes

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Stalin had specific sense of humour. Specific but witty. But it was not always that people, to whom he addressed, laughed. Here are some jokes of his translated by me. 1. While constructing "Victory" car brand it was planned that the brand's name would be "Motherland". Having known about it, Stalin asked ironically "And how much will our Motherland cost?". The brand was quickly changed. 2. Constructor of artillery systems Grabin told how he was asked to visit Stalin to get an award: -Your gun has saved Russia.What prize would you like to get - Hero of Socialist Labour or Stalin Prize? - I don't care, comrade Stalin. He was given both. 3. After the WW2 Stalin knew that professor K* had built luxurious dacha (cottage). The professor was asked to visit Stalin. Stalin asked him - "Is it true that you have built your dacha for much money?" "Yes, it is" - answered the professor. "Thanks a lot from the orphanage, that was given the dacha by you" - said Stalin and send the professor to teach in Siberia. 4. Stalin asked meteorologists what was the percentage of their data accuracy. "40%" - they replied. "So if you tell the wrong, you will have 60%". 5. During the WW2 Stalin decreed Baibakov to find new oilfields. He answered that it was not possible to find them anymore. Stalin replied "If there are oilfields - there will be Baibakov, if there are no oilfields - there will be no Baibakov". Soon new oilfields were found in Bashkiria and Tataria.