The Royal Tenenbaums Haiku

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This Haiku collection needs a few notes of explanation, as it comprises a set of skits and observations on a particular movie, The Royal Tenenbaums. This was composed for a stage show I take part in which involves parodies of different movies each month – the show is called Flim Nite (a deliberate distortion of Film Night). The Royal Tenenbaums is one film chosen for the event, hosted by a couple called Jack & Jasmine. The 2001 movie is a brilliant comedy by Wes Anderson, starring among others, Gene Hackman, Angelica Huston, Ben Stiller, and others named in the verses below. It concerns an eccentric family, The Tenenbaums, comprising of geniuses, estranged by the divorce of their parents, with Royal Tenebaum (Hackman) now attempting to get back into the family by quite falsely claiming to have just six weeks to live, and somehow reuniting his family in the bizarre chaos he causes. The movie is divided into chapters as though presented as a novel. Here are my Haiku interpretations of all this. 1/. Chappell Chapter One This whole Flim Nite is set out In Haiku poems 2/. The Royal Tenenbaums Five syllables down straight off Just on the title! 3/. Imagine the pitch… Guy pretends to have cancer And it’s comedy! 4/. Homer Simpson yawns Dysfunctional family Been there, done that. Doh! 5/. Whole twenty minutes Introducing characters Still very funny 6/. Buckley abandoned For a fire drill too depressed To bite Ben Stiller 7/. Ghandi plays tennis Obviously not that one Wimbledon loin cloth 8/. Royal envies graves Belonging to others Makes me look for mine 9/. Dead dog, lost falcon No animals hurt during The filming at least 10/. Tom joins Jerry dots My cat would love one of those Cute Dalmatian mice 11/. Suicide, divorce, Amputated fingers, lies, Still very funny 12/. Hackman’s funniest Since Poseidon Adventure Upside down values 13/. Stiller and Wilson Zoolander reunion Next time Museum 14/. Paltrow never smiles More secrets than MI5 Shamed by Shallow Hal 15/. Royal criticised My verse Declaring it crap Beats daughter’s play though 16/. Eccentric misfits Owen’s Tenenbaum envy Infects me so much 17/. Typecasting role call Huston finds Royal husband Weirder than Gomez 18/. Danny Glover seeks New Lethal Weapon partner Less chance of sequels. 19/. Baldwin stays unseen Children taught how to shoplift Other bits that don’t fit 20/. Six more lines to live Take pity on doomed poems Nearly over now 21/. Thanks for listening. Enjoy the rest of the show Cheers Jack and Jasmine. Arthur Chappell