Feeling Obligated....
By Tiff Gray
@T_gray (7772)
Salina, Kansas
February 9, 2016 12:26pm CST
I love my cousin. He's a good kid. He has had some bad luck over the past year where he lost a very well paying job, lost his apartment and had to move in with his grandma until he could get back on his feet.
Took him forever to find a job, in today's economy and all. Once he found the job, he had to save up from there to be able to afford all the initial costs to get a new apartment.
Last night he text me after not talking after a couple weeks and told me the good news that he finally is able to afford a new apartment and will be a signing a lease and moving in this Thursday and Friday.
And then the text came "You don't have to help me move, but do you want to come over and hang out with me while I move."
What?! What do I do with that? I can't just go watch him work and not help. So now I feel obligated to help him move. And of course I have a car with a large hatchback so I have to volunteer that space.
Have you felt obligated to help someone like this?
9 people like this
11 responses
@OneOfMany (12150)
• United States
9 Feb 16
I'm glad he's moving forward. I feel obligated to help all the time. People recruit me by making me feel guilty rather than just asking me to help out. It's annoying.
3 people like this
@OneOfMany (12150)
• United States
9 Feb 16
@T_gray Today my mother was breaking down because of little sleep and a bad argument last night. And she said "I have too much on my plate and you never help me!"
I have to say, I don't like being accused like that.
2 people like this
@T_gray (7772)
• Salina, Kansas
11 Feb 16
@OneOfMany Yeah, I wouldn't like that either
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94909)
• United States
13 Feb 16
Does he have a car that can move though? But maybe he wants you to just occupy him only. 
I think if the text read something like.. I'm moving, but don't have a car or need help - then you'd be obligated.
I think if the text read something like.. I'm moving, but don't have a car or need help - then you'd be obligated.1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94909)
• United States
13 Feb 16
@T_gray Oh no! I hope your ankle feels better. It was really nice of you to help what you can though. I am sure he enjoys your company and hopefully you two got to catch up also.
1 person likes this
@T_gray (7772)
• Salina, Kansas
13 Feb 16
@infatuatedbby We did get to catch up. He got a really nice apartment too.
I have no idea what i did to my ankle, it's been hurting for a few weeks now. I am trying to avoid the doctor. I am not sure if it's bad enough. Ya know
1 person likes this
@T_gray (7772)
• Salina, Kansas
13 Feb 16
It's actually funny because the night before he texts and asked if I was going to be able to come over and help or not. Either way, I helped for a little while. There was only so much I could do. He got an upstairs apartment and my ankle being hurt doesn't let me go up and down stairs that easily.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36987)
•
9 Feb 16
Yes, but I would normally help anyway even though at times I don't really want too.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
9 Feb 16
Well, I would not mind helping at all, but I guess it does seem like you would kind of have to lolz
I am so happy for your cousin that he has got on his feet.
I am so happy for your cousin that he has got on his feet.1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
10 Feb 16
@T_gray It is so expensive today and takes so long for someone in his position to have made it..yes I am sure you are proud of him.
1 person likes this
@T_gray (7772)
• Salina, Kansas
10 Feb 16
@TiarasOceanView You are very right. It is very expensive.
1 person likes this
@much2say (57760)
• Los Angeles, California
9 Feb 16
Let's see . . . this was either intentional, or it wasn't 
.
In any case, I'm sure he will appreciate any help you can give him. Some people have good intentions in the way they ask for help (they don't want to make someone feel obligated), but in the end it turns out that way anyway.
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In any case, I'm sure he will appreciate any help you can give him. Some people have good intentions in the way they ask for help (they don't want to make someone feel obligated), but in the end it turns out that way anyway.1 person likes this
@41CombedaleRoad (5966)
• Greece
10 Feb 16
You could always take him at his word and go and hang out, make the coffee and do the sandwiches. If he loves you as much as you love him he will realise that it isnot fair to take you for granted.
1 person likes this
@whiteream (8567)
• United States
10 Feb 16
yes, it happens to all of us at one point or another. Glad, he is back on his feet. It is very hard these days.
1 person likes this
