5 Reasons Why NOT To Date A Psychologist

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So yesterday, I came up with five reasons why to date a psychologist. Now here's why not. 1. You can't hide your secrets Psychologists can't read minds (that's a relief) but they can sense if you're trying to hide something. Perhaps it's because you smoked while Uncle Jim rolled in the mud yesterday? 2. They know what you want, even if you don't want them to know Ever heard of Freud's Psychoanalysis? Sometimes, the things that people repress would show themselves in their own dreams. I've come up with two tips on how to get out of this one: *Tip no. 1: Tell a fake dream Psych: So what did you dream of last night? You: I dream't about...(you dream't about banana pancakes and fudge brownies) ...rolling in the mud with Uncle Jim! Oops! *Tip no. 2: If you know Carl Jung's Collective Unconscious... Psych: Who is this Julianne? You shouted her name while you slept last night! You: Julianne? Maybe she's my long distant relative whose memories from the collective unconscious has come to me. Either way, you're screwed anyway because of no. 1. 3. Don't try to cheat. They are always two steps ahead of you Because they know you, if you try to cheat, they'll catch you before you try to do anything. Then again, why would you cheat if your partner is so sweet, caring and knows everything you want? 4. They're just too good at finding out if you did something bad You: *hugs*I love you honey! Here's a gift. Psych: *opens present* Aww... how sweet! You- you did something wrong huh? You: What? I was just trying to be affectionate... Psych: Did you roll in the mud again? Didn't I tell you not to?! Or maybe the problem is with you. That's why I said, don't cheat. Like, ever. 5. They might have a few loose screws... I'm not trying to be offensive, but, psychology is a really hard field of study. It may not be true that you'd end up being crazy because of it. Because you'd have to be crazy enough to even think about going there. Believe me, 'cause I've been there. It's like hell, and hell again. Wait no, it's even worse than hell! Bonus: Everyone gets to have flaws. Even this article has flaws. Not all of it are true to all. I'm also sure that there are those who are not psychologists who are really good at detecting lies, so please do not cheat. They have a third eye and third ear on your forehead so they know if you're trying to have a date with someone else. And I'm just doing this for humor. Next time: Why date an accountant, starring Emily the accountant. Stay tuned! *Emily is fictitious, mind you*