How do you beat the feeling of extreme shyness?
By Curlann
@annierose (21977)
United States
March 30, 2016 5:24pm CST
Today will be my 6th time to host an important event in my workplace. Never did I imagine in my whole life that when I grow up and be a professional, I will be standing in the stage and be seen by many people. I have been accustomed to be a friend on my own self. Books have been always my companions and if I have friends, they are really few.
I would rather be alone than mingle to a group. And I think people wonder why a person like me can host an event because everyone thinks I am a shy person. I do not know how I have developed self confidence little by little. All I know is I must do my job and make my boss and colleagues satisfied with my performance so I keep on overcoming my shyness no matter how tough it is.
Have you experienced being an extreme shy person? What are those things you have been doing so far to move away from that shyness?
7 people like this
6 responses
@Drosophila (16568)
• Ireland
31 Mar 16
I am not particularly shy, and have spoken in front of about 100 odd people.
All I can say is the more you do it, the better you get.
Practice and practice.
Another golden tip that prevent me from getting the nerves is knowing that "ultimately people will always spend more time thinking about themselves, than you, so if you're nervous, people prolly won't notice"
2 people like this
@annierose (21977)
• United States
31 Mar 16
I have observed that it is difficult for me to speak to people who are very articulate. However, when I am with people who are also shy like me and quiet, I can speak freely. I feel confuse why I prefer passive people to interact with rather than loud people. Maybe, it is my natural personality?
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16568)
• Ireland
31 Mar 16
@annierose Actually loud people are the most easy to interact with. You just ask them a few questions about themselves, then off they go.. they will do all the talking.
And
They leave with the opinion you're the most wonderful person ever, because you let them do all the talking.
2 people like this
@annierose (21977)
• United States
31 Mar 16
@Drosophila I felt intimidated whenever I am in a group of loud people. They talked endlessly and laugh boisterously. I got so uncomfortable especially if they ask questions I am not interested with.
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (15504)
• United Kingdom
30 Mar 16
I do have an issue with that sort of thing.
It has come and gone for 20 years now.
One thing I was told is fake it until you make it.
That did work for me but took work.
I just tried very hard to act the part of an outgoing social person.
At times I've had help and some said doing this was ok whereas others said it wasn't a good thing as it masked the underlying disorder.
I think what you're doing is good, trying little by little to get more confidence.
Also, not everyone is outgoing and I don't think there is anything wrong with being shy.
2 people like this
@annierose (21977)
• United States
31 Mar 16
Thank you Mike. I get intimidated most of the times when I am with a big number of loud people, that I just prefer to stay away and enjoy my own quietness. I always got a comment that I am a serious person and I am not a person easy to have a conversation with. I just respond them with a smile because I don't know how to articulate myself sometimes.
1 person likes this
@annierose (21977)
• United States
31 Mar 16
@Mike197602 I have been trying to smile when I meet my colleagues and have been trying to say hi or hello even I am very shy. Actually, I struggle with my colleagues and classmates who I feel are having a superiority complex or it is just I who is struggling from inferiority complex. I think I need to reflect more on myself and understand more who I really am.
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (15504)
• United Kingdom
31 Mar 16
@annierose If you see how you are as a negative thing then maybe work on becoming a more social person.
If it is not an issue to you or in your job then be happy with what you are.
I had issues and if I actually stated what I was diagnosed with it would certainly be an issue here as what I was diagnosed with has a big stigma attached.
1 person likes this
@MGjhaud (23228)
• Philippines
31 Mar 16
@annierose i feel you. i guess you'll just have to believe that whatever you are going to do in front of them, it'll turn out ok.
1 person likes this
@annierose (21977)
• United States
31 Mar 16
@MGjhaud Yes. That is positivity. When they pay attention to me, then my energy is boost. While if they just ignored what I said, then I felt discouraged.
@annierose (21977)
• United States
31 Mar 16
I feel confident when I am with people that I am comfortable with. I can tell them all I want without hesitation. On the other hand, if I do not like the people around me, then my shyness will show up and will become my best friend.
@toniganzon (77308)
• Philippines
31 Mar 16
I try to boost my ego by thinking some few things: my educational background, my family background, and the most important thing that can boost my ego is thinking that GOD IS WITH ME!
1 person likes this
@annierose (21977)
• United States
31 Mar 16
That is what I sometimes do. I recite these lines "If God is with me then who can be against me" and "I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me." All goes well after that. And I remember the movie entitled "Three Idiots" from that I get this line "All is well" that I remember I repeat to myself many times.
@annierose (21977)
• United States
31 Mar 16
Well, I do not have any choice but to do what was assigned to me. They agree with the way I speak in English and they think I can choose easily the words I need to say during unexpected moments. How I wish I were really like that. If they only knew, I struggle very much and would like to go downstairs and ask another person to do the job. Everytime, I will be given an assignment to speak in front, they will give it to me in advance so I can prepare myself.
@annierose (21977)
• United States
31 Mar 16
I am also shy with my relatives who are older than me. I am the opposite of my other cousins who can say anything they want.
