Change your mindset, change your world
By Lee Ka
@kaka135 (14994)
Malaysia
March 31, 2016 5:37am CST
I was having a chat with a few mothers in the park yesterday. We talked about how difficult it is to be a stay-at-home mom, and how challenging it is to bring up the children, and also the children in school.
I found it quite interesting that our mindsets are quite different.
They think they used to be very patient, but the children made them lose all the patience.
They think children are here to give them troubles or demand something from them.
They need to teach, nag or punish the children so they will learn to be better.
They think it's easier for others to teach their children, so they prefer to send the children to after-school tuition, and they will have less hassles.
They are all good mothers and they love their children very much. But, it seems like they have been thinking the negative sides sometimes, and they might not enjoy being a mother very much. Of course, I respect their ways and parenting styles as well.
I believe my children are gifts to me, and they really complete me and let me learn a lot. I am still impatient now, but I am sure I will learn to be patient, gentle, mindful, joyful and peaceful one day. Moreover, I think our mindset will affect our children's as well.
I am just thinking, if we change our mindset, the world will be so much different. If we think more positive, the world around us will be more beautiful. If we just count our blessings, we will find out how fortunate and blessed we are.
Picture was downloaded from pixabay
7 people like this
9 responses
@louievill (28846)
• Philippines
31 Mar 16
I agree, positive thinking is very important, same situation but there are many ways to look at it but it boils down to two, either positive or negative
2 people like this
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
31 Mar 16
I think very much the same as you. I think its okay for the other mothers to feel that way but I just don't feel that way personally. Everyone is different so I always try to think that way. I think gentle parenting is wonderful. Maybe they can learn from you when they see the way you are with your children. I love my children so much. They are truly what keeps me going. It isn't easy being a parent but I try my best.
1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14994)
• Malaysia
8 Apr 16
I guess this makes life more meaningful and purposeful, to me, as we are always learning and improving and being a better us.
The mothers I met in the playground are good mothers actually, but it's just that I was quite surprised they have that mindset sometimes. They always think they can't be like me, as I really enjoy and love being a mother, especially now when I am pregnant again. They have one or at most two children and think that's enough. It seems like nowadays having three children are not so common here anymore. 
@kaka135 (14994)
• Malaysia
10 Apr 16
@shaggin That's really funny! Yes, I think those questions are always being asked. Before we have boyfriend/girlfriend, people started to ask when we are getting one. When we are dating, people would ask when we are getting married. When we have married, people started to ask when we are having our first child, etc. 
One of my neighbors recently told me, when she was pregnant with her fourth baby, she was being laughed by others for having so many children. I was quite shock, as I think having 4 children is fine, and even having more children also is nothing wrong. 
One of my neighbors recently told me, when she was pregnant with her fourth baby, she was being laughed by others for having so many children. I was quite shock, as I think having 4 children is fine, and even having more children also is nothing wrong. 1 person likes this
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
10 Apr 16
@kaka135 I think as long as people can afford them there is nothing wrong with having many children. If someone can love all their children equally and take care of them on their own then they should not be made to feel like they are wrong for having many children. It takes a lot of patience to raise many kids.
1 person likes this
@youless (114117)
• Guangzhou, China
31 Mar 16
As a mother, I totally understand this is the hardest job in the world. Actually I am still learning it because sometimes I feel I haven't done it well yet. Sometimes when I look at my son's photo when he was little, he was so cute and then I don't understand why sometimes I can be angry with such a lovely child I try to be patient and I always want to keep a good relationship with my child so that he will care about me. When he cares about me, then he will try to be a good boy, I think
I try to be patient and I always want to keep a good relationship with my child so that he will care about me. When he cares about me, then he will try to be a good boy, I think1 person likes this
That's why when people told me, they'd prefer daughters as they think daughters are more caring and lovely, but I told them sons can be caring and lovely too. I think my son is lovely and caring as well. @kaka135 (14994)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 16
I always think that as well - why I can get mad at this lovely child!
I am glad that I am learning and improving, even my son notices I am more patient now. Yes, it's true, when the connection is there, the child will really behave better and learn to be good as well. Sometimes, it's just that they are still young children, they haven't developed well well. Sometimes even adult misbehave, we get angry and be lazy.
That's why I always think, when parents behave themselves, the children will learn to behave as well. So, it's actually for the parents to learn to be better, then the children will just follow. 
I am glad that I am learning and improving, even my son notices I am more patient now. Yes, it's true, when the connection is there, the child will really behave better and learn to be good as well. Sometimes, it's just that they are still young children, they haven't developed well well. Sometimes even adult misbehave, we get angry and be lazy.
That's why I always think, when parents behave themselves, the children will learn to behave as well. So, it's actually for the parents to learn to be better, then the children will just follow. 1 person likes this
@youless (114117)
• Guangzhou, China
1 Apr 16
@kaka135 Sometimes when I am angry, my son will tell me jokes. One day I was really mad at him, he said he would tell me two jokes. He emphasized they were two jokes Perhaps more jokes because I was angrier So sometimes it is really hard to blame him more.
Perhaps more jokes because I was angrier So sometimes it is really hard to blame him more.1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14994)
• Malaysia
8 Apr 16
This is not surprise to me. I think these mothers I know are actually much better or dedicated in parenting than some others. I have no idea why some would choose to become parents. I am sure they love their children as well, but they might not want to change the lifestyle or mindset they were having before becoming parents.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
31 Mar 16
Oh they are not thinking good...this is not good.
If the children feel their negativity, it will rub off on them.
What is the matter with them, dont they know this?
It is a special time and a time that is only once in a lifetime.
1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14994)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 16
Yes, I think the children definitely feel that, though I am sure they feel love from the parents as well. I can feel the negativity from their children too.
My neighbor even thought of asking me to teach her daughter after school, as she is the same age as my son. I am okay to let them play together for awhile, but I really don't think I can teach other kid now. Moreover, the girl is quite negative and doesn't really like to learn, it'd be so difficult for me. I am not that great to help changing a person yet, moreover my plate is already very full.
I have actually tried to talk to them a few times about thinking more positively, but it seems like they still prefer this way, so I am learning to keep quiet now. They always just think I am different, because I enjoy being mother so much and can spend time with the children for the whole day.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
31 Mar 16
@kaka135 You are on the right path..they may unfortunately face difficulties more if the negativity spreads..I understand you do not want it to infect you or your children..I avoid it too at all costs. I am very alone here because of it.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
31 Mar 16
Oh yes. The world does look different when you see it through a positive lens.
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45490)
• United States
31 Mar 16
A positive mind-set can help situations.
1 person likes this
