Am I Being Petty?
By patgalca
@patgalca (18481)
Orangeville, Ontario
April 7, 2016 2:12pm CST
As I mentioned in another post, my grade 8 class is celebrating its 40th anniversary of grade 8 graduation this spring. We are trying to get the whole gang together for an evening in downtown Toronto. The organizer is a bit of a celebrity so financially well off. In fact, our whole class were raised in upper middle class or upper class families. So many parents were doctors and lawyers.
The organizer has a friend who owns a restaurant and has offered us a private room and a flat rate of $35 for a meal. Unfortunately it is in downtown Toronto rather than mid-town where we all grew up and went to school. Because of that I have booked a hotel room which is going to cost me over $200 for one night. Obviously this is a lot of money for me but the evening is an event I don't want to miss out on.
I just received an updated email indicating because of the large turn out "they" have decided to turn it into a fundraiser and have upped the cost from $35 per person to $75 per person. I emailed back saying it was a big hit for me, that I am already dishing out over $200 on a hotel, that it was presumptuous to assume we are all financially secure and briefly explained my life situation for the last 20 years. The organizer emailed me back and said he would pick up the extra $35 for me.
I feel weird about this, although perhaps I was expecting as such by telling him my situation. But I did say I would pay it. I haven't emailed him back to thank him because I feel so weird about it. Should I thank him or tell him I would pay it? After all, we weren't ASKED if we would like it to turn into a fundraiser for a local shelter. Some of the attendees are paying air fare to get to this event. I don't know about their financial situation, but I still think it was presumptuous and that we should have been asked. Some of the others are professional musicians and will be performing for us at the dinner. I guess that's why they turned it into a fundraiser.
Should I just suck it up and pay for it?
P.S. The organizer is someone I have been in contact over Facebook and recently through emails. He's not just someone I haven't heard from in 40 years.
7 people like this
7 responses
@Missmwngi (12915)
• Nairobi, Kenya
7 Apr 16
Well it would not hurt to help since the funds will be put into a good course
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18481)
• Orangeville, Ontario
7 Apr 16
@Missmwngi He has since emailed everyone saying that he has no intention of making it an expensive night and putting a strain on people's budgets. We can only pay for the meal if we are unable to pay the extra. He thought we should bring out the Catholic spirit and donate to a worthy cause. So now it is optional. I have since learned I will probably have my tax credit by then and will pay the full amount.
@RichardMeister (5328)
• Otis Orchards, Washington
9 Apr 16
My feeling is you wrote telling him, and explaining to him, why you can't afford it, therefore you should thank him for his generosity, accept it and go to the event. If you didn't want him to pay or reduce your price, then you should not have written to him complaining about it. Or you should have only stated that some people may not be able to afford the extra and that he should have send out emails saying, "We would appreciate it, if you can afford it, an extra $40 for the dinner so we can donate it to _______." That way it would give the attendees the option rather than demanding extra. Who knows, there may be others who are struggling and that extra may have them pulling out. I think it was a bit insensitive of him (or the organizers) to assume everyone could afford that extra. It should have been put out there as an option–especially since it more than doubles the cost of the dinner.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18481)
• Orangeville, Ontario
10 Apr 16
There are some people arranging flights to attend. I just think he was presumptuous that we could all afford the extra money. He has since told everyone it was optional. I have since learned I should have my disability tax credit from 2006-2014 by then so I will be making the donation... as long as a car doesn't break down. Right now we're sitting in the cold until my daughter's boyfriend can get us a new furnace on Monday.
@Hate2Iron (15724)
• Canada
7 Apr 16
I don't think that you should have been put in that position. It is nothing like it was originally planned!
1 person likes this
@IvySaysHi (4603)
• United States
7 Apr 16
I mean i would thank especially if I couldnt afford to cough up the money but if you think it would be too weird to let him pay then dont let him
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18481)
• Orangeville, Ontario
8 Apr 16
My grade school years were great because we were all together for the full nine years. There were no cliques or bullies. We were all friends. And you can tell by the turn-out we are getting for this. Five people have passed away. Only two people wanted nothing to do with it but one has since changed his mind. We're still trying to locate four people. It's going to be a fun evening.
@Morleyhunt (21741)
• Canada
10 Apr 16
That is an awkward situation. I think I would say thank you and move on.
