Is it important to take sides?
By Yogafreak
@Curlybobby (370)
April 18, 2016 11:06pm CST
I'm finding myself in many situations off late where I'm expected to choose sides and let the person who's wrong know that I disapprove of what they're doing. While I mostly agree with the other party that they have been wronged, I find it very inconvenient to choose sides openly. I have chosen to be diplomatic with both parties and sometimes this angers the person who expects me to take their side and openly stand up for them. I don't know if I'm selfish for not standing up for them because I find it inconvenient and don't want to be put in an awkward position. But that's who I am. I wonder if people would be more careful with their word and actions of I did take a stance. Is it selfish on my part to not support the right person because it's not convenient for me? Does this make me a bad friend?
6 people like this
9 responses
@Bluedoll (16770)
• Canada
20 Apr 16
@Curlybobby
Too close for comfort. 
Can we just say two people we know please.
I wouldn't concern myself with their fight because it is none of my business. The exception being they want my help. Otherwise, I just stay me. But who I am means I don't side with someone else's badness.
Can we just say two people we know please.
I wouldn't concern myself with their fight because it is none of my business. The exception being they want my help. Otherwise, I just stay me. But who I am means I don't side with someone else's badness.1 person likes this
@Curlybobby (370)
•
20 Apr 16
@Bluedoll Hahaha.. Didn't intend for it to come across that way! But thanks for your reply!!
1 person likes this
@Curlybobby (370)
•
20 Apr 16
If your friend and your boyfriend had a fight and you knew your friend was wrong and that you can't go and talk to her about it, would you openly take your boyfriends side and cut off with your friend
@yukimori (10193)
• United States
19 Apr 16
Nope. I tell them that they're adults and can manage their relationships just fine by themselves. My relationships with the other party aren't dependent on my relationship with them, and honestly if my refusing to take sides and join in the drama fest pisses them off then I'll probably be rethinking the friendship. That's really anice elementary school mindset...
1 person likes this
@Curlybobby (370)
•
19 Apr 16
No. That's what I tell them too. But I once my boyfriend was almost made friendless by one of my best friends and I was between a rock and a hard place and despite knowing my friend was wrong, I was iffy about taking sides because it would have been awkward for me. Under such circumstances, my boyfriend believed that it was slightly selfish of me to look at my convenience.
@yukimori (10193)
• United States
19 Apr 16
@Curlybobby Well, that's a different situation entirely.
When you're in a long-term relationship with someone, you should be taking their side above everyone else's. It might be awkward, but not taking their side when you should can destroy the relationship. And really, best friends should be able to tell each other when they're overstepping and behaving like jerks.
@Curlybobby (370)
•
19 Apr 16
@yukimori Yes, I've come to realise this the hard way now.. Thanks for your opinion though. It helps
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
20 Apr 16
Honestly I would be there for both of them and go with what my gut is telling me to do. If I love both people then I would stay out of it too-I wouldn't want to lose them or hurt them.
My sister and my husband have had plenty of fights-I told them both it's between y'all-not me. If y'all want to fight over stupid things so be it but I will not be involved in it. It was happening all the time and I got tired of it all, I was so stressed over it. I just couldn't do it anymore. Since I told them I was not getting involved they haven't fought as much as they used to.
@karjatwala (1120)
• Pune, India
19 Apr 16
Sometimes one has to be diplomatic in choosing sides and sometimes choose sides openly even making enemies in the process.
@Curlybobby (370)
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19 Apr 16
Striking the balance between the two is what is the most difficult part!!
@LdeL0318 (6400)
• Philippines
19 Apr 16
It's a hard situation. It's better not to take sides but then how can that be when you know obviously who is wrong and who is right. I guess you just have to explain things well.
@toniganzon (77120)
• Philippines
20 Apr 16
I think your friend might see you as a coward if you don't have the courage to take their sides. They might even think you can't be trusted at all.
@cherriefic (10399)
• Philippines
19 Apr 16
It's very childish of they think that way. Afterall, your not included to their conflict.
