I Took Time Out

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I don't know why it is. I got the first round of notifications done, wrote a post about Mother's Day and basically ran for the hills. I tried writing, and did a little bit. I got some more of the story straightened out, and more of it written, though I'm thinking I'm going to be editing out the last line. Yeah, the last one. It's not ready for that action yet. I know something is happening, but I haven't figured it all out in my head yet to put it down in the story. I probably shouldn't worry about it, because my fingers do the writing anyway. My head usually has to play catch-up with my fingers. So anyway, I really didn't write much. It happens every holiday. It seems like I skip town, though I haven't gone anywhere. I get into a mild depression and start feeling sorry for myself. I hear wonderful stories about how everyone has great plans for the holiday's, and it's all holiday's not just a select couple here and there. Thank God I'm not a father, or I'd go off the deep end for that one too, and probably will anyway. Then there's my birthday in a couple months, and then thankfully it will all be over until Thanksgiving and the year starts all over again with the holidays. I know some of you read my post What Mother's Day Means to Me. The fact is, I really wish my kids did care. I wish my parents had cared. I wish my husband had cared. I wish somebody cared about me. So after writing that I disappeared. I binged on Netflix. I took time out for me. Just me. My son is at work. I'm home alone. Just me in a lonely house. Did I tell you he doesn't think I should get a dog? I told him a while ago I had one lined up and was just waiting on word from the bank. He told me then that if I got a dog he was moving out. He might have thought that would change my mind. It didn't. I'm counting down the days until I can get that dog. It's waiting for me. I can't wait to have her. I mentioned her again a few days ago and my son told me again that if I brought a dog into the house he was moving out. He doesn't understand how lonely I get. How much I miss Pip. How much it feels so strange walking in this house and there isn't a dog waiting to greet me. All he thinks about is the fact he thinks I can't afford it because of the financial situation I am in. It hasn't occurred to him that I was in this situation even before I lost Pip and it worked out fine. I always had the money for food and taking care of her. I get super lonely on holidays. My daughter always goes to her mother-in-laws every holiday. My older son you know about, we don't get along and he definitely won't be here, and my son will be in his room playing video games and if I go in there he will most likely tell me to go away. So I'll be here with you. I'll be interacting because I feel more at home here and part of this family than I do anywhere else. I couldn't be more alone than if everyone were actually gone from my life instead of just my parents and brother. So I took time out to just be with me and binge some TV. I finished watching the first season of Lost. It's more interesting than I thought it would be. So I hope you all don't feel like you've latched onto some kind of loser here on myLot. I'll be all right again, right after this holiday is over and out of the way. Thanks for reading. I thought about deleting it before I hit the discussion button, but hey, if nobody reads it, that's fine. I got this out for me.