How Do You Live With or Be Friends With A Narcissist?
By celticeagle
@celticeagle (190005)
Boise, Idaho
May 24, 2016 11:51pm CST
How do you live with someone that is so full of themselves and feels the world revolves around them? Someone who is selfish and self involved? Someone who has a real lack of empathy for others. They have a deep need for admiration and an inflated sense of their own importance. How can you be friends with someone like this? How can you live with them in your family unit?
These people need to be in talk therapy. They need to reach back into the past and see where this behavior comes from. But, if you can't even get them to see a counselor .....then what?
In a recent discussion the member spoke about kids being made to participate in sports. I was thinking about this and in reading the background of a narcissist it states that they are usually those who have been made to set unattainable goals for themselves. Get better grades, excell at sports, be a better person. They are made to live their lives trying to reach someone else's goals.
They assign blame when ask about their own responsibilities. If they are wrong they will twist the truth and blame everyone but themselves.
I feel sorry for children that are brought up this way. Your thoughts.
7 people like this
7 responses
@yukimori (10192)
• United States
25 May 16
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is largely untreatable. The problem with getting people with NPD into therapy is that it tends to lead to them adding more tricks to their toolkit, which are then used to abuse their victims.
They don't have the capacity for self-reflection. Most who truly have NPD will never seek help because there is nothing wrong in their view... or if there is, it's everyone else that's the problem.
My mother and her husband are a classic narcissist and enabler pair. It's why I have minimal if any contact with either of them these days. They're not safe people and I'll be damned if my kids grow up in the dysfunction that I suffered as a kid.
To answer the question in the subject, quite simply you don't. The narcissistic cycle is one that generally ends relationships, especially when the other person hasn't dealt with the dysfunction and won't tolerate the narc's bad behavior. I can't tell you how many times I've watched it play out. The falling outs are always huge, always dramatic, and always end up with the narcissist somehow playing the victim.
4 people like this
@celticeagle (190005)
• Boise, Idaho
25 May 16
Haven't been able to get my daughter into therapy except for one or two sessions once in awhile down through the years. I was more reaching out for a discussion due to dealing with my daughter.
@yukimori (10192)
• United States
25 May 16
@celticeagle Thing is, you can't get someone to change unless they want to change. People with NPD don't see themselves as broken, but they are. They're utterly toxic.
Unfortunately, there comes a time when you have to put your mental health and wellbeing above taking care of a narcissist's delicate feelings. You can't make them change. You can't live with them because they just abuse you. Why subject yourself to the abuse when you don't have to?
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (190005)
• Boise, Idaho
25 May 16
@yukimori ...Yes, in a perfect world I would be traveling and enjoying my retirement. Why subject yourself to the abuse when you don't have to? You really need to read some of my other posts on this issue. I have had this same conversation with probably three counselors in the past ten years.
@Drosophila (16568)
• Ireland
25 May 16
I have a great friend who is like this.
I do love him a lot though. I guess with people like this, you just have to be very patient.
It's not that they necesarily lack empathy, I think most people these days are fairly self-centred and don't necessarily care for others.
Narcissistic people actually really care about how they appear and are perceived by others.
Hence, they assign a lot of significance in what we think odd things.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (190005)
• Boise, Idaho
25 May 16
Patience and love. They do have their positive points.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (190005)
• Boise, Idaho
26 May 16
@Drosophila ....They do have their moments don't they?
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16568)
• Ireland
26 May 16
@celticeagle indeed, I love my friend.. while he is incredibly manipulative, vain, and have an exaggerated self-importance. There are some genuine moments in our relationship I enjoy. Like having a good laugh together.
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (44941)
• Preston, England
26 May 16
i meet lots of vain narcissists sadly - it is a common problem
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (190005)
• Boise, Idaho
26 May 16
Yes, it is . I was actually talking more about my personal situation with my daughter. She is something.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (190005)
• Boise, Idaho
27 May 16
@jaboUK ....I was being facetious.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (54736)
• United States
27 May 16
It is a horrible personality to have.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (190005)
• Boise, Idaho
25 May 16
@yukimori ....No. It's a long story. If you have read any of my other posts on this subject you might better understand the issue at hand.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (190005)
• Boise, Idaho
25 May 16
That is very sad. My daughter is this way and it is a struggle to get her to take care of her responsibilities.
1 person likes this
@yukimori (10192)
• United States
25 May 16
@celticeagle But is parenting an adult really your responsibility?
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
25 May 16
thing is, if people dont want to change, nothing will really help. group therapy and therapy could help, but prob wont until that person sees themself a tad more honestly.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (190005)
• Boise, Idaho
25 May 16
They have to at least admit there is a problem too.
1 person likes this
