We were friends for 15 years
@shaggin (74988)
United States
August 12, 2016 5:06pm CST
I had a best friend in 8th grade that I stayed friends with for about 15 years. There were times we stopped being friends but things always cleared up.
About 2 years ago our friendship ended very badly. A girl she was recently friends with wrote my name and blasted me all over Facebook all because I tried to help her by telling her what her man was really like. It got really ugly.
What happened was my friend who I had stuck up for so many times over the years sided with this girl and turned against me. If I was in the wrong it would have been understandable but I was not. This was the last straw as I had recently forgiven her for something else a few weeks before this.
Since then I removed her from my friends list in facebook. She repeatedly sent me friend requests. After the 6th one I blocked her.
One day she texted me saying how she sees what my kids and I are up to due to she looks at the Facebook feed of the girl she takes care of on home health.
About 2 weeks ago she messaged my mother saying how she hopes someday I forgive her and blag blah. I told my mother thanks for relaying the message to me but no thanks...
I don't feel I can trust this girl to be friends with her again. We were very close before. Her oldest daughter even happened to be born on my birthday.
Last night she found me on the geocaching site and sent me a friend request apologizing for everything and saying maybe we can geocaching together sometime.
It made me a but sad but I just don't think I could be friends with her again. Kind of stalkerish the extent she goes to get in touch with me. I miss her but then I think of how rotten of a friend she wound up being and I think I'm probably better off.
9 people like this
11 responses
@msiduri (5687)
• United States
12 Aug 16
At this point, you can do nothing but walk away. Mourn a bit, be angry, but walk away. If you can't trust a person, there's no going back. It will only lead to more arguing and more drama. If you seek advice, do not bad mouth her. Bad mouthing her will only make a martyr of her. Say as little as possible about the whole thing to as few people as possible, and when you do, keep it as neutral as possible.
About two years ago, a friend I had for twenty years turned on me with no explanation. It hurt like hell. While I would be civil to her in public if I saw her again, there's no way in hell she would ever be welcome in my home.
2 people like this
@ilocosboy (45155)
• Philippines
13 Aug 16
friendship like marriage also have this misunderstanding, if it hurts you be mad, but after that, and somebody show some humbleness, why not let her in. besides 15 years and 20 years worthy than 2 minutes of hurt.
2 people like this
@msiduri (5687)
• United States
13 Aug 16
@ilocosboy In my case, it was more than two minutes. I could never trust her again. And it saddens me.
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
14 Aug 16
The one guy I dated was crazy and apologized many times over the years. He stalked me on any online site he could find. Part of the reason I like some anonymity here. I had to tell him I would show his cousin who is a state trooper his texts to me where I repeatedly asked him to stop texting me. After a year or two that is finally got him to stop texting me. My point being just saying sorry doesn't mean they really are or won't do it again.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230351)
• Chile
13 Aug 16
I had a friend for decades and was always forgiving her for things she did. Until I said "no more". It was the best for me.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
14 Aug 16
So far it had felt the same for me. I feel I do miss her but that I am better off without her and all the drama.
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
14 Aug 16
'to err is human, to fergive divine', 'r somethin' 'long those lines. perhaps ya ladies jest need a fresh start, puttin' the hurt 'hind.
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
16 Aug 16
@crazyhorseladycx Well I tried by not thinking about her but then she pops up again messaging me.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
15 Aug 16
@shaggin jest remember that'cher hurtin' yerself by carryin' that with ya, hon. don't mean ya need to be chummy with her yet 'gain. but that perhaps ya ought to jest let't go, put schtuff 'nto perspective 'n move'n. perhaps she'll do the same?
@ilocosboy (45155)
• Philippines
13 Aug 16
How I admire her effort to get in touch to you again, she has reasons, maybe, at that time, maybe you can give her some time to explain... to reconnect.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
14 Aug 16
Her excuse was she turned into a drunk at the time. I miss her but its hard to get past the anger.
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
15 Aug 16
It really is best if we can but when I've had to forgive the same person over and over its harder to keep forgiving.
@CinnamonGrl (7086)
• Santa Fe, New Mexico
12 Aug 16
Yeh trouble is you don't know if things like that would keep happening. But it's hard losing a longtime friend that way. My best friend and I have had our ups and downs, but neither one of us is into drama and that helps a lot. I think Facebook causes issues sometimes, the fact that you can't see people's expressions and hear their tone and all you just see is typing. I've taken things wrong sometimes on there and I know other people do too. Especially siince some people are more blunt than others, way TOO blunt sometimes.
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
13 Aug 16
Things can easily be taken the wrong way on facebook but I always try to think that they have good intentions and aren't trying to be mean. If someone is truly mean to me then it is a problem with them as I am nice to everyone. I am loyal and the best kind of friend you can get so this girl really lost out when she ruined our friendship.
@trivia79 (7827)
• El Segundo, California
13 Aug 16
what an end to a friendship! so sad but deserved! 
