Horrible experience at a church last night
@shaggin (74988)
United States
November 5, 2016 10:23am CST
I was so upset last night after taking my two kids and my niece to a kids night out event at a church. I could not stop crying for 3 hours.
They had divided the kids into two groups and put an adult on each team. I was on one team. Just as our team was up my 9 yr old son got nervous and didn't want to play. He went and hid next to a chair.
Three people went up to him and sat around him trying to get him to play. He covered his face with his hoody. They started tickling him. He elbowed their hands away and kept telling them to stop while his face was still covered.
He got up to get away and the priest grabbed on to him. They were standing then facing each other and my son kicked him. The priest (who is also a tai kwan do instructor) kicked him back twice.
He then went behind my son and grabbed his arms. He pulled them tightly across his chest and restraigned him. He said to my son "are you going to stop or should I give you a kiss on the cheek?"
My son was crying and looking at me for help. I said "If you let him go we will leave." He said "You don't have to leave I'm trying to help him."
I took the kids and left.
My son shouldn't have kicked him but adults need to listen when a child says stop. I would never touch another persons child that way let alone kick them! That is not helping a child!
He hates being touched and when he is nervous or embarassed or upset he needs to just be left alone. I kept saying he didn't want to play and doesn't like to be touched but of course people just shrug it off and thinking its not serious! It is serious it causes my son to have a meltdown or go in a rage.
12 people like this
14 responses
@Happy2BeMe (99353)
• Canada
5 Nov 16
Your son should have been left alone when he walked away. I can see somebody talking to him and seeing if they could help but tickling him that was uncalled for. The priest had no right to grab him or kick him or restrain him and he thought that was helping him how? I would have been so upset too.
2 people like this
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
9 Nov 16
That is exactly what I thought like how in the world was kicking him back helping him after he already felt he had to defend himself from being tickled and not left alone. People need to understand body language and leave those alone who are asking to be and acting that way.
2 people like this
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
5 Nov 16
My son has a lot of the issues I have. At 33 I am okay with people hugging me but I don't like it unless I initate it. It used to make my skin crawl to be touched I felt so gross and irritated from it. Even I cannot touch my son. I wait for him to give me hugs and I always ask if I cam have one if he says no I don't bug him. Relatives of his are way to touchy and he hates it. Family get togethers are awful for him because they know he hates it and pick him up and try to get a hug them call him names when he doesn't laugh and enjoy it like all the other kids.
@dodo19 (48153)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
6 Nov 16
What the priests and the others did to your son wasn't right. They should have just left him alone. I feel so bad for your son. He must have be scared and really upset. Like you, if I see a child hide like your son did, I would leave him be and just maybe let the child's parent know and make sure they're okay. I certainly wouldn't go teasing the child or kick him/her. That's really not right. You and your son have every right to be upset. Personally, I'd honestly have second thoughts about going back.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (48153)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
10 Nov 16
@shaggin I'm glad that you're not going back. If that's the reception you're going to get, it's not worth it. I wouldn't have grounded your son either. He didn't do anything wrong. I wouldn't ground my kids if they didn't do anything wrong.
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94909)
• United States
5 Nov 16
Why in the world would the priest say or else I'll kiss you on the check to your son?
Is he some child pervert?
Glad you all got out of there!
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94909)
• United States
9 Nov 16
@shaggin you don't say anything like that to anyone - he would creep me out
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Nov 16
That is one thing you don't do is touch another person's child. If anything they could have just talked with him, and once he said he didn't want to play that should have been the end of it. Is your son autistic? I have babysat a few boys that were and they did not like to be touched either.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
6 Nov 16
He has many symptoms of autism but has never been tested. I am trying to get him seen by a pediatric psychologist to be tested but not everywhere will take medicaid and offices arent returning calls. I'm frustrated. He'a been in and out of therapy for many years and no one has done testing.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
6 Nov 16
@shaggin I know it is frustrating. My son needs to be tested for Aspergers and not many doctors take me seriously. I totally get it.
He does sound autistic to me, even if it's high functioning autism. I hope you can find out soon so at least you will know.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
5 Nov 16
He was on my team but at the last minute he was nervous and afraid he didn't understand the rules so he went and hid. If they left him alone he would have been fine. I understand they were trying to cheer him up and get them to play but it went to far.
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (82978)
• Onaway, Michigan
30 Nov 16
That priest should not have done that to your son. And you are so right when he tells a grown adult to knock it off they should listen.
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
30 Nov 16
We were talking about it a few nights ago what happened. It must still bother my son :-(
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
4 Dec 16
@Tina30219 Hopefully he won't hate all churches because of it but he will never go back to this one.
@Tina30219 (82978)
• Onaway, Michigan
30 Nov 16
@shaggin I bet poor kid probably makes him not want to go to church again
@Letranknight2015 (52665)
• Philippines
5 Nov 16
It's not right forcing the child to do what he doesn't understand. And that threat alone will scarred him for life.
Well, it's best not to come back to that church anymore.
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
8 Nov 16
I can not imagine how he would act if I made him go back. He has anxiety as it is. I think he would have a meltdown if he thought he had to return there. Its sad because we have had a lot of fun there in the past and now thats ruined. We will never go back now!
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
9 Nov 16
My son kicked him first but he is 9 and 1/4 of the size of this 60 yr old guy. I think it was crazy for him to kick my son back. My son shouldn't have done it but they should have stopped bothering him when he clearly wanted to be left alone. I would never di what this man did to anyone else's child. My son had never even met this man before.
1 person likes this
@asfarasiknow (3340)
• Bournemouth, England
5 Nov 16
The priest plainly has no respect for people's boundaries. No one would blame you for finding a different church.
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
9 Nov 16
No it was just a get together for kids. They had a snack, made a craft, played a few games etc.
@Gita17112016 (3611)
• Trinidad And Tobago
22 Nov 16
No, your son should have been left alone. I don't agree with the kicking and the restraining. I mean the focus was not violence...it was the child playing. I can't see how that priest reacted as that. Maybe the child was just shy or didn't want the focus on him. Nothing wrong with that. If coaxing didn't work, just leave him alone...or try throwing a ball gently from a distance. No, i think the priest handled it badly. Not very good interactive skills!
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
23 Nov 16
Thank you very much. I felt so upset about the situation for so long. It really upset me what my son had to go through. I think he should have just been left alone. He is a very nervous child. I do not understand how the priest thought he was helping he only made things worse.
