More of that Nightmare

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So in my last post I talked of going to see my maternal grandmother, and it being a nightmare because of my uncle, who lives next door. I didn't go into great detail because it would have been a very long post. My uncle is older than my late mother (died at 55 last year/dementia), so he just turned sixty. He has 3 ex wives, and 3 daughters, and none of them speak to him. Everyone but my grandmother understands why. He was a liar at a young age, and just continued to pile lie upon lie. It makes me think of something my dad told me as a child. He said to my sister and I once that he hopes we got caught every time we told a lie. He prayed we would never get away with doing a single thing wrong. Because he wanted us to live a life of integrity. My uncle started abusing prescription drugs in his twenties. He had a small, legit injury, but he got addicted. He then proceeded to steal pain pills from his in laws (from 2 of his 3 ex wives, including the last wife), his parents, and once, from me. This was before I had the car wreck that left me with permanent back and neck injuries. At the time the pain medication was because I had just had my wisdom teeth removed. He took money from his parents, and lied about why. He started falling when the pain meds would get him high, and ended up having back surgery and shoulder surgery because of his repeated falls. He had a shoulder surgery a year ago, took too many pain pills, fell, and had to have the same shoulder surgery again. Mt grandmother even paid his child support when he wouldn't get a job. My grandfather, who died about 7 years ago, always tried to get him to take responsibility for his actions, and always took a stand with him. I'll skip a lot and get to this past weekend. He was in the hospital 2 weeks ago because he fell and hurt himself. He convinced the doctor to let him go home. He has not moved from a chair in his living room. He had my grandmother bring him urinals, has called her over to his house to turn his heat up and down, to bring him food, to even change his underwear because he missed the urinal. He started calling and asking for me because if it wasn't anything to do with seeing him in a state of undress (all he wears is underwear) I would do it (cleaning up things he spilled, emptying his garbage, adjusting his heater...). She got mad on the last day because he called him over to help put shorts on him. She'd go over to help and be there for hours. He can go into the hospital. He's on disability (he also has COPD & still smokes). He could go into a physical rehab center. He could have people come in and help him in his own home. Yet he prefers his bent over, cane using, dragging a leg mother to do his bidding. I got them to call for help once when he wanted me to pick him up after he fell out of the chair. I couldn't do it! But he then convinced the firemen and EMTs he was fine, even though they had to pick him up and take him to the bathroom, and then bring him back to his chair. (They can't make him go.) My grandmother has chosen to let him do this to her, and she keeps saying he is all she has now (I don't live nearby, and his kids don't have contact with her because she has been vocal about supporting him over them, and she wouldn't let them help now). She has a sister nearby, who just had back surgery, and who is mad about how she lets her son use her. My sister lives 30 minutes away, but she legitimately can't help out because of her new foster son who needs care. But really, it's no one's responsibility to help him, but him. This weekend when we weren't with my uncle my grandmother was very upset with him, and commented how she could understand why he wives couldn't stand him. She resents his actions, but when she is around him she never lets on. I feel helpless. And that's not all, but I'll write more later. I'm still thrilled I was able to see her, and help her. Anything I can do instead of her is good with me.