Why are there too many people in one relationship today?
By Nuel Makara
@nmakara (7)
May 9, 2017 7:34am CST
I am wondering why there are too many people involved in one relationship nowadays, I thought romantic relationships which are suppose to be about two individuals' attempt to pursue happiness, and build a lasting bond that they might cherish for the rest of their lives. But today friends, uncles, aunties, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, cousins and nephews all come together to vet and pass judgment on our relationships that we end up evaluating each other and have a board of family members to approve before we can give in or pursue our romantic interest. Have you ever been in my kind of situation or know someone who is? Give me your thoughts please!
3 people like this
5 responses
@pumpkinjam (8876)
• United Kingdom
9 May 17
It's nothing new for families to 'vet' a potential partner. It has happened, and still happens, in some cultures for centuries. In the modern world, especially the Western world (I think) it's become the norm to choose a partner without influence from family and friends but there is nothing wrong, within reason, with those close to you wanting to be sure that your partner will be good for you. Of course, they should respect that the choice is ultimately yours.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8876)
• United Kingdom
10 May 17
@nmakara That can be difficult when people don't agree on the difference. Sometimes families think they are just being thoughtful, helpful, or showing concern when they are actually interfering. On the other hand, some people find a partner who really is no good for them and don't listen to family and friends who had warned them. It's hard to know if someone has gone too far.
@nmakara (7)
•
10 May 17
Who defines the boundary between vetting and inferring... When your partner seem to hang on their every word but initially gives you the idea that you are both in it together but after time, and time spent you find yourself having to impress the entire board just to be 'good' enough for one person?
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (18198)
• Raurkela, India
9 May 17
All relations are in the outer circle. The inner circle is you and your partner, keep it intact my avoiding their judgment.
1 person likes this
@nmakara (7)
•
10 May 17
Thank you so much for this. This I can hang on but right now I feel it might be too late because now I feel am no longer on a first term basis with her because i don't know love will be enough to blind the fact that I will always think that my feelings and needs will come secondary to her family's vetting and approval!
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (18198)
• Raurkela, India
11 May 17
@nmakara Maybe you could not make her feel at home at the beginning of your relationship. Try to find where things went wrong.
@nmakara (7)
•
9 May 17
Thank you so much but the most painful part is that when it all happens you expect your significant other to face the threat with you because of the bond and trust that you have built together. The times and memories you have created but then they just stick and go with their familia and you become a public enemy! You begin to have all these questions was it all a lie, will it ever be same again?
@optimisticbeauty (2170)
• India
9 May 17
Yes I know some people who are in such situations. I seriously don't understand why they interfere in others life. It's their life and they are responsible for their decisions,so why the heck one should ask for others approval. Isn't it?
@nmakara (7)
•
10 May 17
I an beginning to think it may have to do with insecurity and them not properly defining themselves for themselves without the validation of these other people. but them we spend so much time in the relationship and only get to realize their true personality later on, after weeks, months and years! Painful and heart wretching
@optimisticbeauty (2170)
• India
11 May 17
@nmakara I guess you are currently suffering from something
Is it? You can share
