I'm At A Total Loss This Morning
By celticeagle
@celticeagle (189838)
Boise, Idaho
May 15, 2017 9:01am CST
I feel as if I have run a marathon and I am sure my daughter was in one too. We work so hard some mornings to get my grandson (14, ODD) up and out to catch the bus that after wards it is as if we have run a race. This morning is the third one that he has not made it out to catch the school bus. He refuses to take the city bus and we have no other transportation options available to us. School doesn't do anything. Have called the police in the past and they tell us that unless he is trying to kill one of us or is smoking dope in our home we just aren't of any priority to them. And , that it all comes down to parenting skills. Okay, We have taken his privileges away as much as he will let us because heaven for bid he should be bored and, I am not going to try taking the cell away and get another dislocated shoulder out of this like I did before when I took his Xbox away from him. The PSR acts like she is on her last break and we are boring her so she's of little help. I am beside myself. If he doesn't care and doesn't want to move any faster and get where he needs to be and be responsible then what more can we do?
This is why I am "delirious in Idaho".
8 people like this
9 responses
@OreoBrownie (3755)
• Commerce, Georgia
15 May 17
I think he is playing you and his game is a dangerous one. If he has a TV in his room, take it out. Set a bedtime and stick to it. He will eventually get the message to go to sleep.
If get refuses to get up, put it on his shoulders, because if he fails, he chose it. Have a family talk. Let him know the ground rules and 14 is plenty old enough to start looking after himself, to some degree.I'd call him twice. After that he, he is on his own.
The key is consistancy. I'd also talk to the school and tell them what will happen. I think he is not getting enough rest because he knows you will get him up or take him to school.
Sorry in advance, but I had to give my daughter some tough love, and it worked.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
16 May 17
In a perfect world what you have put down is certain the basics. Not in this household. This is not the norm. The PSRs we just brought on don't seem to be much help. He towers over us and is oppositional and defiant. If he were a normal child we could probably get him to do things like bed time and so forth. It's much more difficult and harder than dealing with a normal child.
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
16 May 17
@spiderdust ........Yes, I certainly have. This isn't a norma situation with a normal child. we can't call health and welfare. My daughter hates them and the fall out would cause more stress and be horrible for us. I can't do that to here. I had thought the school would call them long before this but they don't seem to care. I have heard recently from one of the new PSRs that some kids don't even go to school and there is no repercussions at all. So what is up with that? No, health and welfare would not be our best bet at this point at all.
Alos, our experience with health and welfare has been a real joke. Laughable if it weren't so stupid and bizarre. My granddaughter, who was in trouble and in and out of juvie, finally was placed in a children's home for trouble girls. This by health and welfare. They allowed her to be there for only one month. One month for a troubled children is ludicrous at best. Hardly time at all to hit on any problems It was a total joke. I wrote letters, talked to those I thought would understand and , no, their hands were tied. No, health welfare would do nothing and just come down on Cami which she does not need.
@spiderdust (14756)
• San Jose, California
15 May 17
I think she's already tried several of those things to the best of her ability. I don't think the idea of "if he fails, he chose it" will work because he doesn't care if he fails getting to school.
I'd be at a loss too. As much as I hate saying it, calling health and welfare might be your best bet at this point. There are other people who have children with ODD, you won't be the only ones who have called.
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (44941)
• Preston, England
15 May 17
crazy that the authorities are tying your hands and helping him do pretty much what he wants like this - his asault on you was not far hort of attempted murder
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
16 May 17
They don't care unless it is to the extreme.
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (44941)
• Preston, England
16 May 17
@celticeagle pretty monstrous state of affairs - are you in any support group contact with other parents / carers in similar situations - worth looking online for others struggling in similar situations
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
16 May 17
@arthurchappell ......We've done that in the past but not right now. No transportation to get to such things.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
16 May 17
Because it is crowded and it stresses him out. Excuses, excuses. He just doesn't want to do the extra walking and making transfers.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
15 May 17
This is extremely difficult to deal with.
I wish the 'authorities and professionals' were of more help.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
16 May 17
My experience with health and welfare in the past has been a real joke. A lady up above your resposnse said I should go that direction. You might want to read that one so I don't have to repeat it a third time.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
16 May 17
@celticeagle Believe me, I know how the 'help' is..non existent.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (97970)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
15 May 17
Since I have not knowledge of such situations if he is getting older and he is getting more difficult aren't there institutions that can help with his education, behavioral problems etc. I mean it seems you really need help there. Are there really no solutions? Wishing the best for you and hoping you can get things straightened out.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
20 May 17
@RasmaSandra .....He went on to get out there four days in row. His mom and i were thrilled.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (97970)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
20 May 17
@celticeagle I will put in a prayer for you. There must be someone who will finally listen. Take care.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
16 May 17
It just comes down to it being up to him. I mostly come here to vent. I don't expect any of you to have the answers.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
17 May 17
@just4him .....And that is why I come here. I feel I can do that here.
1 person likes this
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
16 May 17
@celticeagle Sometimes venting is all you can do.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
16 May 17
That'd be nice. We have used different ones in the past and it was idiotic at best.
@LeaPea2417 (40026)
• Toccoa, Georgia
15 May 17
Since the Police wont help, maybe DFACTS (department of family and children's services) can help. I am just glad I am not in a situation like that. I would be really be trying to find away out of it.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
16 May 17
You might read above on the response I made to @spiderdust . My experience with them has been of no help whatsoever.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (40026)
• Toccoa, Georgia
17 May 17
@celticeagle Ok, I will read that.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
15 May 17
Well obviously thats a bad police station, school, and town/state. Because he shoud be going to school or taken to court for chins. And even dcf should have stepped in by now
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
15 May 17
They used to have a truancy system but they don't anymore. Health and welfare hasn't been called but that is probably what it will come down to and then my daughter will be the bad guy. What is she supposed to do if a young teen who towers over her won't do as she asks? She has taken his privileges except for the cell which he won't give up. What else is there to do?
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
15 May 17
@celticeagle get help. No matter what it costs. Maybe he'll learn
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
16 May 17
@Courtlynn ......We are trying but the PSRs don't seem to be very much help. We've had better ones in the past.
1 person likes this
