Why Are People So Judgemental?
By KrauseHome
@KrauseHome (36445)
United States
June 10, 2017 11:01pm CST
With my having to have major Surgery almost 3 weeks ago, I think I found out who some of my True friends are, or not. Makes me wonder how some judged me as it is my Own fault, and I have been in the hospital, etc before so we never thought it was anything serious. Like really? Someone has to have major surgery that could have killed me if I would have waited, and have to wear a wound Vac for a while to help heal the major wound on my back is nothing? Personally I will never get it, and have been feeling a little hurt and disappointed for the last week on hearing this.
The worst problem is, this was my Pastor, Asst pastor, etc from my church. No one came to visit me or even call when I was in the hospital. I had been home 6 days from the hospital even before my Pastor ever called. Then I had been home over a week when my Asst Pastor called. And then they wonder why I might be just a little upset, as well as my husband?
Personally I have been attending this church for almost 20 yrs, and my husband 19. When we first started attending their might have been 30 at most on Sundays and usually about 11 counting us on Wednesday night. So we have been there almost since the beginning, and it is Sad now we feel like no one cares and would not miss us if we never come back.
Am I right for feeling this way, or am I jumping to conclusions?
16 people like this
16 responses
@ShifaLk (17811)
• India
16 Jun 17
Oh no that is very very sad to hear and I would feel the same but on the other hand please try to know if the pastor was really busy with something more important...
maybe somebody else was in more need than you or if you think there was no reason then you can openly share with the pastor that it was hurting...
I would do the same
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
21 Jun 17
Yes someone should have least called. They waited to call until I was home from the hospital a week even. Still with being on home health the pastor or anyone has not come to visit even and it has been 4 weeks now
1 person likes this
@ShifaLk (17811)
• India
23 Jun 17
@KrauseHome then open your heart to him that you didn't like that... just tell with love.mm I hope they'll understand
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
21 Jun 17
The pastor first thought I had been in the hospital before so it was no big deal. Eve. When I told then I had had surgery. I guess maybe next time he Rod (my husband ) call to.make it sound so real and urgenr?
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
22 Jun 17
@KrauseHome Yes, that would be a nice thing to do- inform them. 
@FourWalls (86757)
• United States
11 Jun 17
I heard a minister make a rather scathing comment about church-goers: "Christians are the only people who kill their wounded." At first glance that sounds caustic and downright accusatory, but if you look at a lot of people's reactions (such as yours), how people use the pretense of "praying for you" as a way of prying into personal issues ("we need to pray for so-and-so because his sister-in-law's brother is back on the bottle again"), etc.
I would say you're not alone if you're feeling that way.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21845)
• Canada
12 Jun 17
I'm sorry they took so long to see you, I would be upset too. In the country church i grew up in the minister would visit my mother (with Parkinsons) weekly just to say hello and leave a prayer. That's even with her going every Sunday with my Dad.... of course ours was a small country church, if your church is big it might be harder to do.. I hope your recovery is fast and comfortable.
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
11 Jun 17
It may be a little of both. Honestly wouldn't think too much of it.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
11 Jun 17
Perhaps they have many people to visit and call who are sick too Krause?
I am just trying to think why they waited so long.
Wow, it is incredulous for a long standing member like you and husband that they would not reach out to you.
@Letranknight2015 (52665)
• Philippines
12 Jun 17
Were so many and yet for some reason when were in trouble, we will just end up alone.
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
11 Jun 17
It could be a little of both. It is sad that neither of them contacted you until you were out of the hospital. From what I understand it is a pastor's job to visit their parishioners in the hospital, encourage them and let them know they are praying for them. To not do so is negligence on their part. It is also possible you could be jumping to conclusions because nobody knows the pastor's schedule better than he does.
I told my pastor I will have my surgery date next week, and would appreciate if someone would sign me out of the nursing home once I go there for rehab (I'm getting double knee replacement) since I don't want to miss church.
@josie_ (10033)
• Philippines
12 Jun 17
Judging by the small number of attendees in your church, one would assume it was a close-knit community where everyone knew each other, share hopes and aspiration, lend a hand or ear in times of trouble., I can understand why you feel the way you do. It's an eye opener and your relationship with your church won't be the same again. I do hope you are feeling better physically. Keep your chin up.
@ilocosboy (45155)
• Philippines
11 Jun 17
Maybe you are jumping into conclusions. There are people who might shy to show their concerns but always included in their prayers. Or there might be other reasons why they hadn't visit or call you.
