A Man Followed Us and Ruined Our Outing

CC0 Public Domain/Pixabay
United States
July 16, 2017 8:52pm CST
Earlier my sister and I decided to go out for a bit and hit the stores around the mall. Our mall is in a busy area of town, and unfortunately there are a lot of weirdos and homeless people who lurk around there. Normally we don't have any issues when we're out walking in broad daylight, but we had to cut today's trip short because some creepy homeless guy started following us. After we looked around the mall, we walked over to Jack In the Box, which is located in the mall's parking lot. That's when I became aware of the creep. He came in after us but never ordered anything. He hung around the lobby area, straightening chairs and acting agitated while we ate. He obviously didn't work there. He was wearing a dirty, black long-sleeve shirt even though it was over 100 degrees out. I just thought he was some weirdo until we got up to leave and he trailed after us. Then I got scared. He followed after us through the parking lot, all the way back to the mall. Obviously he was planning something because a man does not stalk two women for no reason. We ducked into the music store and called my dad to come get us. We stayed in the store until we saw our dad pull up in front of the mall (the music store faces out to the parking lot). We were afraid the creep was still lurking around outside the store waiting for us to come out. I was about ready to call the cops if he came near us again. Then when I got home and told my boyfriend about the incident, he acted like I was an idiot and demanded "but did he DO anything??" Um, because a creepy man following two women from place to place isn't enough? Do we have to get raped and robbed before our feelings of not being safe are validated by men? This isn't just a one-time incident, mind you; this sort of thing has happened repeatedly throughout my life. I have had men try to lure me into their cars, follow me home, yell obscene remarks at me, even threaten to kill me. So, no, he didn't "DO" anything if you consider stalking two women you don't know to be "NOTHING." So now I'm mad that that creep ruined our outing, and I'm ticked at my boyfriend for just brushing it off like I was overreacting. Do men really think other men are within their rights to follow women around and make them feel unsafe? My sister and I both feel violated after this incident. It could have turned into something worse. He could have robbed us or hurt us. He could have killed us. He could have switched his attention to some other woman (or women) after he lost us and harmed them. I wish I could have tracked down mall security and alerted them to the creep, but I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. Things like this is why it sucks being female, and the fact that men invalidate our fear by acting like we're being drama queens also sucks. I guess maybe if I had gotten raped or my throat slashed, then my boyfriend would have been concerned. This is a prime example of male privilege that everyone keeps going on about. He's never dealt with this kind of crap so he has no idea what it feels like to have another human being make you feel unsafe just for being female and daring to walk outside without a male companion. And it's not right. This sort of thing never happens if I'm with a man. Frankly I'm sick of men being creeps and thinking they can get away with this crap. And my boyfriend's attitude just enables other men to think this sort of thing is okay, when there's nothing "okay" about it.
8 people like this
10 responses
• United States
17 Jul 17
Oh sorry this happened to day Stacy. That is indeed something to be concerned about. I am glad that nothing happened to you beyond this..its dangerous out there I know.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 17
The sad part is now my sister and I will be afraid to go out again. I stopped going for walks in my own neighborhood after a group of young guys threatened to murder me when I dared yell back at them when they screamed obscenities at me. That was several years ago and I haven't gone for a walk in that area since. It's really not safe, even if you have another female companion with you.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 17
@Srbageldog No it is not. And yes, it does not matter if there are two of you.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 17
@TiarasOceanView This stuff never happens if I am with a man. It's a shame that's the way the world works.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Jul 17
your boyfrie nd should learn to take stalkers seriously as they often do act out I know as I was almost kiledbyone who wanted to marry me andi did not een kow him
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Jul 17
@Srbageldog I wq as a nurses aide he was one of m patients he developed ac rusho nme that t urned really uygly
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jul 17
I am so sorry that happened to you. You just never know what kind of crazy person you're dealing with when someone displays stalker-type behavior.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jul 17
@Hatley Oh wow that's awful. Nowhere is safe I guess, not even work.
@allen0187 (59708)
• Philippines
17 Jul 17
So sorry you had to go through this. Better to be safe and take precautions rather than being complacent and putting yourself in danger.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (59708)
• Philippines
18 Jul 17
@Srbageldog hope it doesn't happen to you and your sister again.
• United States
18 Jul 17
Thank you, and I agree. Always better to be safe than sorry.
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (82978)
• Onaway, Michigan
17 Jul 17
So sorry your outing was ruined by this creepy man sometimes men can be such pigs. Glad things had a happy ending and your dad came to the rescue.
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (82978)
• Onaway, Michigan
17 Jul 17
@Srbageldog Yeah that is definitely serious stuff.
• United States
17 Jul 17
Thanks, and yes they can be. My dad didn't hesitate to come get us and my mom offered to stay on the phone with me while we waited for him to get there. At least my parents take that sort of threat seriously.
@LadyDuck (502208)
• Italy
17 Jul 17
I am very sorry this happened to you. It is true that we get scared and then we feel uncomfortable going out alone again.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502208)
• Italy
18 Jul 17
@Srbageldog I agree, those guys are creepy and I do not like to see them around.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jul 17
I hate that these types of creeps have the power to make us feel this way. It's not right that we should feel scared to go out because we never know when this type of thing will happen again.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
17 Jul 17
Wow! I'm sorry your boyfriend didn't take it more seriously. Pretty sure mine wouldn't have either.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 17
Men can be pretty ignorant when it comes to these sorts of things. I guess they don't realize how threatening it feels for us ladies to experience this sort of thing regularly. I had hoped that once I got older that type of thing would stop, but unfortunately it hasn't. And you never know what a guy intends on doing when he's following you, so you have to assume the worst for your own safety.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
17 Jul 17
@Srbageldog yes. Sadly. Thats why i never leave without my phone, or eithout it being charged
1 person likes this
@Nawsheen (28761)
• Mauritius
17 Jul 17
I can totally understand your concern and how you feel. I have been followed before and I was for sure very scared. I am glad that you are safe
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jul 17
I'm sorry this has also happened to you. It's scary when people we don't know make us feel unsafe.
1 person likes this
@prashu228 (37518)
• India
17 Jul 17
Oh.. these men. Seriously this is one of the reason why I avoid going out alone. .oh there are so many unanswered questions, why men do this ,that and all, but we never feel secure this way .
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 17
It is sad that we can't feel safe going out alone, or even with a female companion! Why must we always have a man on our arm to ward off these creeps? :(
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
17 Jul 17
You should have told a store employee and they would have called the police. No men I know would think his is alright.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 17
I almost did tell the store employees but I lost track of where he went and just wanted to get out of there before he popped up again. You would think most "normal" men would be bothered by this, but my boyfriend acts like it's no big deal, just part of life. Easy for someone who's never experienced this sort of thing to think that way, I suppose.
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
17 Jul 17
I don't blame you for being mad because the creepy man ruined your time with your sister. Was she scared too? We do not know what someone like that might do and you were right to call your dad to come get you. Your boyfriend does not understand. That is too bad you had to cut your time short. Have you seen this homeless man before?
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jul 17
My sister and I were both terrified. I had never seen that man before. I hope I never see him again! :(
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
17 Jul 17
@Srbageldog Stacy, I hope you don't either.
1 person likes this