She Asked for a Kidney
By StacyB
@Srbageldog (7716)
United States
September 3, 2017 7:31pm CST
Years ago I got added to a family group my boyfriend's cousin started on Facebook. Today some lady I've never seen post in it, have never met, and have never even heard of posted in their family group asking for one of the relatives to give up a kidney for her brother.
That is such a huge thing to ask of people who don't really know you. Just because you're related doesn't mean you're close family and it doesn't make you entitled to your relatives organs. I noticed that the post had been seen by a ton of people but nobody responded. Maybe they don't know who the heck she is, either. For all I know she's someone's spouse and got added for the same reason I did. Not all of us who are "family" are related.
If it was a close family member who needed a kidney, I would maybe consider donating. When my grandma was having kidney failure when I was a teenager I wanted to give her one of mine, but I wasn't old enough to make that decision. If my sister or mother, or two of my three brothers needed it, I would do so in a heartbeat if I were a good candidate for doing so. Anyone else... Sorry, but they ain't getting my kidney.
I know the request was geared at their relatives, but I still find it odd. And how impersonal to just ask for someone to give up a kidney on Facebook. That's something that at least warrants a phone call, and should preferably be asked face-to-face. And if you don't have those peoples numbers to ask... Then you probably shouldn't be asking for their kidneys to begin with.
11 people like this
11 responses
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
4 Sep 17
hmmm that is mighty strange and bold. But I really am not surprised as it is social media..the stuff we see on it..well you know.
3 people like this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
4 Sep 17
People are sure weird (and socially inappropriate) these days thanks to social media! I told my boyfriend about his relative's request and he said "Yeah, let me see what I have lying around!"
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
4 Sep 17
@Srbageldog Yes as if she is just asking for a cup of tea or something lol
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
4 Sep 17
I agree and am glad I'm not the only one who thinks this way. One of my long-time friend's nephew is on dialysis...I am friends with his mother on Facebook and I have never, ever seen them post requests for a kidney donation. That is something that should not be done on social media.
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
4 Sep 17
@poehere Agreed. I think that is by far the craziest thing I've seen posted on social media.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
4 Sep 17
@Srbageldog People have no value these days. They don't care what they say or what they ask for. This one is crazy.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
4 Sep 17
Years ago when my nephew needed a kidney my son wanted to give him one of his. Thankfully that did not happen as my son was later diagnosed with a tumor on one of his kidneys. They were successful in removing the tumor from the kidney and were able to save the kidney as well.
I understand the desperation when it comes to wanting to save the life of someone you love. When my nephew needed a kidney I turned to prayer and hoped that he would find a donor kidney. He was able to get a kidney once when his kidneys were failing. Then one more time when the kidney eventually he initially received was rejected by his body and had to be removed.
However, I think it is a bit much to come right out and ask people in a group to give up a kidney. There are ways to go about it that are a bit more tactful.
2 people like this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
4 Sep 17
That is why it's such a big decision to make to give up one of your kidneys -- you never know what the future holds and whether or not you will need that kidney later on. That is not something to be taken lightly. Even if you are in perfect health, you never know what the future holds. It seems pretty bold to just outright ask distant relatives to give up an organ they may need later, without even offering an explanation as to why it's needed -- obviously kidney failure, but what caused it? My grandma suffered kidney failure due to an autoimmune disease and there was talk of giving her a transplant, but chances were she would just experience kidney failure again or her body would reject it. She lived for 10 years on dialysis and passed away in 2008. She may have lived longer but she started refusing to take her medicine -- we think she gave up her fight because my grandpa was having health problems and she didn't want to be a burden for him to take care of. But even if someone had given her a kidney, there's no guarantee she would have lived longer than she did, or even as long as she ended up living on dialysis.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
4 Sep 17
@Srbageldog so very true and my son lives today because he didn't donate years ago. I am a donor should I pass away. I won't need it after that.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502483)
• Italy
4 Sep 17
@Srbageldog I fully agree, some things must be kept private and this is not the way to ask.
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
4 Sep 17
Some people seem to lose all manners or sense of decency once they get on social media. But asking for a kidney definitely takes the cake for being inappropriate.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99353)
• Canada
4 Sep 17
Facebook is not the place to ask but to me it sounds desperate and they are just seeking out anywhere to save this guy's life. I can underhand that. I have a friend who just went through it. I hope he does gethis a matching donor.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
4 Sep 17
I understand the desperation, but she didn't even ask anyone to get in touch with her to find out more about directly donating to him, she just said to go to such-and-such hospital's website and look into it yourself. Which seems very...impersonal. I do hope the guy finds a matching donor. She said she could donate if she lost a little weight...so maybe she should try to lose a little weight. :/
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99353)
• Canada
5 Sep 17
@Srbageldog that would be a good idea. You think she would.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
9 Sep 17
I definitely agree! That sort of thing should be asked in person.
1 person likes this
@vsai2008 (11794)
• India
9 Sep 17
@Srbageldog Yes, when it concerns a human life, at least, it should be handled with dignity and respect :)
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (54715)
• United States
4 Sep 17
I also think that should be asked in person.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
5 Sep 17
Agreed. That sort of thing at least deserves taking the person out to lunch before asking for such a huge life-changing donation.
@jillybean1222 (6406)
•
4 Sep 17
yes, seems odd on Facebook. maybe mention the condition of the person which might lead to a conversation if someone feels called to do so
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
4 Sep 17
Torally agree with you. Facebook is not the place to ask that kind of thing, nor would I give mine to anyone other thab my mom and brother.. unless it was my daughter. And even then I'd be so scared
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
4 Sep 17
Ditto. Even with my close family members, that is a huge decision that can't be taken lightly. What if you need that kidney later on? I think I would only give a kidney if there were no other options.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
4 Sep 17
@Srbageldog right! Otherwise no good for me
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
4 Sep 17
WOW! That is a lot to ask. But I see it on t.v. everyday about people giving people organs and they have never met.
1 person likes this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
5 Sep 17
I have seen that too...which is awesome if someone chooses to do so. I am assuming the donor must have at least heard about the patient's plight and knew why they needed a kidney. This lady didn't really elaborate anything other than he needs a kidney. When I went back and re-read her post, she didn't even ask if anyone would consider donating, she just told her relatives to go to such-and-such hospital's website and see if you would be a good match. Like she just sort of expected it. Which struck me as very odd. My boyfriend knows who her brother is (I have never met either of these people and he says he hasn't seen or heard from them since he was a kid) and that the brother had something wrong with his kidneys 30 years ago when he was a kid and already had one removed. I'm sympathetic for the fellow in need of a kidney, but his sister seems very demanding about trying to secure a new one for him. I would never just expect that from relatives I don't even keep in contact with.
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
4 Sep 17
Neither would I. I would only give a kidney to a close family member, maybe a certain cousin if they needed it...but even then I would be leery about doing so. My grandma had an autoimmune disease which caused her to have kidney failure in her 60s, so it's hard to foresee whether I would need that kidney later on.
1 person likes this
