Should I stop this and go away far?

@JustBhem (70555)
Davao, Philippines
September 16, 2017 4:43am CST
Earlier today, I rushed outside because I heard a commotion. Mother fell on the ground because she thought there was a chair. She fell and luckily she didn't get hurt her head. I told her to be careful the next time. My second Brother scolded her because she's becoming forgetful. And I told her to be careful because the next time she fell she'll probably can't stand anymore. She will have a broken bone and that will hurt her. The third Brother thought I was scolding my good Mother and keep yelling at me. I got pissed off and told him not to do that to me because I'm the eldest and that he doesn't have the right. I was about to cry because I hated that much. He always does that to me but I just keep calm about it. But today is the time he should know that. Now we are not on speaking terms. See what I mean? They all against me being here.
26 people like this
33 responses
• United States
16 Sep 17
Yes I do see what you mean and I had the same with a younger evil sister. I do not speak to her anymore..they are so bad, I understand Bhem.
3 people like this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
There are not bad for me all the time. It's just that I don't like them yelling at me as if I'm their youngest. I'm their eldest sister and they don't have all the right to treat me like that.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Sep 17
@JustBhem Yes I am also the elder..I understand but mine is evil all the time and has caused immense damage in the family. She will pay through karma. I will not bow to her.
2 people like this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
@TiarasOceanView Oh sorry to hear this Tiara. We have issues with our Family. Is it too late for us?
2 people like this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
16 Sep 17
They're ganging up on you. Next time I think it's best not to care. To protect myself, I have to be cold to everybody. Not caring in what they do or what happens to them. In that way, I keep myself away from trouble and I wouldn't be accused of meddling in their business.
3 people like this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
16 Sep 17
@JustBhem You don't have to hide. You can be as visible as you want but just be an uncaring biatch.
2 people like this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
@toniganzon I like this - uncaring biatch. Thanks, Toni.
2 people like this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
Yes, that's what they do best. Because I'm not like them. I stand with myself. They want me to kneel down to them. But no, I'm the eldest and as long as I'm here I have all the rights. Besides they have their own Family. And the mother is biased as ever. That's what I'm doing. I stayed the whole day inside my room where I find comfort and safety.
3 people like this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
16 Sep 17
haha who told you being eldest you have all the rights? It is better to make him understand what was your intention. You don't meant in a rude way. It is the duty of elders to show patience and understanding towards youngers. Just relax dear, after all they are your brothers.
3 people like this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
It's far different here. And I know it's what you believe. Should I chill down and be stupid and give them all the rights to nag me? No, you have your own perspective and us our own. We have differences when it comes to Family norms.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (457298)
• Switzerland
16 Sep 17
I know very well what you mean and I am very sorry. I have those moments with my brother.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (457298)
• Switzerland
16 Sep 17
@JustBhem This is a silly way to think. Even if he is the one who financially takes care of your Mother, he is not the only one to have something to say.
2 people like this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
@LadyDuck Exactly my point. He thinks he is the boss.
3 people like this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
Yes, he feels he has all the right because he was the one who takes care of my Mother's financial.
2 people like this
@YrNemo (20261)
16 Sep 17
boxing his ear next time . (Are your brothers jealous of you being there or something?)
2 people like this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
He thinks he is the eldest because he provides money for my Mother.
2 people like this
@YrNemo (20261)
16 Sep 17
@JustBhem your mother would love her daughter to be with her than any son, believe me!
2 people like this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
@YrNemo Nah, my Mother is not like that. We are not in good terms. She always wants me to leave here. She loves her sons.
2 people like this
@klynlyn (154)
17 Sep 17
i dont allow my younger sis to yell at me,. or good thing they dont yell at me, thats disrespectful for us specially im the one who support my family. but as for you, up to you..have patience too and forgive anyway they are your siblings
2 people like this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
I don't hate them and I can easily forgive them. Everything is working fine now. We are now in good terms.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (58438)
• Philippines
17 Sep 17
Sorry you had to go through this. Hope things pan out right and everything is settled amicably between you and your brothers.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (58438)
• Philippines
17 Sep 17
@JustBhem best thing to do is to let the whole thing blow over and then when everyone is a bit cooler and calmer, you can talk about the situation and sort it out.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
As much as possible I want to have a strong bond with my Brothers but like my Mother, I think they also hated me.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
@allen0187 I don't hold hate against my Brothers because they are the only one I got. And we are in good terms now.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
17 Sep 17
Why are they like that to you, when you are the eldest? And why would your second brother be angry to your mother just because she fell? He should have been compassionate to your mother because she's now forgetful.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
19 Sep 17
@JustBhem That's her way of entertaining herself. But I hope she doesn't spread the rumors she has collected.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Sep 17
@JustBhem that's not very healthy at all. if she doesn't redeem himself while alive, you know what happens. I feel sorry for her already. But you I think needs to be taking care of yourself..
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
Sometimes my Mother is stubborn. How many times we remind her to look after herself because she is not healthy anymore. But she keeps insisted to stay outside and collect rumors. Neighbors call her the security guard for always looking around and stare at people. And gossip about them.
1 person likes this
@shshiju (10342)
• Cochin, India
16 Sep 17
I Think you all need a Round table discussions.
1 person likes this
@shshiju (10342)
• Cochin, India
16 Sep 17
@JustBhem Then what do you like decide?
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
@shshiju Leave it for a moment.
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
Nah, it won't help at all. These Brothers of mine are hard as steal.
1 person likes this
@just4him (305417)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
16 Sep 17
I'm sorry your mother fell, and glad she's going to be all right. What does it matter that you are the eldest? Siblings need to get along with each other and birth order shouldn't matter. I've never considered that, and I am the eldest. I'm sorry you're not on speaking terms. It wasn't good that your brother scolded you, but I'm sure there was another way to handle the situation.
1 person likes this
@just4him (305417)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
17 Sep 17
@JustBhem I agree, that is very disrespectful to do so. However, always reminding him that you're the eldest won't make him respect you.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
@just4him I told him that. And now we are in good terms already.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
I just don't like them to yell at me as if I'm the dumbest person on earth. And he does that to me. He needs to respect me somehow.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
17 Sep 17
i know how you feel. i and my sister have some disagreements too. it is either i talk first, or she, to patch things up. i think having this communication of animosity will make our relationship as siblings stronger. i hope you will also have that with your brothers (whom i don't know why they are mean to you).
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
20 Sep 17
@JustBhem i hope you, your siblings, and your mother will be a happier family.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
20 Sep 17
@ridingbet Nah, it will never happen my friend. Just like today, she lied to me. I thought nobody is renting in the abandoned house we have but there is now for 3 months already. She kept it for me and collected the money, we agreed before that once we collected the payment, we will save it to pay some bills like water and electricity. For 3 Months, I was the one paying bills. And there would be no money left for me. That is why we are on a tight budget with the boyfriend. Imagine her being so cruel to me. I confronted her and she still lies to me.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
I consider myself lucky because after some heated confrontation after few days we can still be okay to each other. One thing I like about my Brothers, they don't hate me that long.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
16 Sep 17
Sounds like normal sibling fights to me. Especially if all live at home still.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
16 Sep 17
@JustBhem so maybe hes mad you still live at home and he doesn't. Theres always a reason for why people are rude to you, siblings or not
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
@Courtlynn I don't know what's gotten unto him why he yells at me.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Sep 17
But he doesn't live here. He already has a family of his own. He just went here to visit his piggery.
• Cedar City, Utah
17 Sep 17
Sometimes I think it's wise to "take a vacation" from certain people. That's one way to teach them that you are not willing to tolerate disrespect.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
18 Sep 17
@aladyinutah Oh, I got it now. Yes. I do that sometimes but that time I got fed up already that it's why it burst out of me.
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
I was thinking about that. But instead of spending money for some vacation it will be practical to stay at home. I'm sick as well. I need my medication.
• Cedar City, Utah
17 Sep 17
@JustBhem - my perception of "taking a vacation" from certain people doesn't necessarily mean spending money. It just means refusing to interact with certain people for a certain length of time. You can decide how much time you need. The bottom line is that it's important to be good to yourself.
1 person likes this
@Christinb (390)
17 Sep 17
That's normal sibling misunderstanding but u should never ever scold your mum
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
@Christinb Thanks.
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
I did not scold my Mother. I remind her and talk to her about the issue.
17 Sep 17
@JustBhem ok that's good
1 person likes this
@Danzylop (1120)
• Philippines
17 Sep 17
I think you should discuss it with your other siblings. Taking care of your mother should be a shared responsibility among you. I think you should approach your brothers first as the oldest you should show them how to be humble and disregard the pride. Moreover, as I check on some comments of other myLotters, I suggest you stay. Now is the time that you get united with your brother especially now, that your mother need you.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
I also need them for I am sick, I'm also in Dialysis. It looks like they favored my Mother much when I also need their attention and care but I don't want them to feel obligated about me.
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
17 Sep 17
can you stay with your father instead?
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
I can't live with him together with his other woman. As much as possible I don't want to get involved in my Father's affair with her.
@LeaPea2417 (36392)
• Toccoa, Georgia
17 Sep 17
I am sorry that is happening to you.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
It's okay. I already get used to this kind of treatment from them as if I'm not part of the Family.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83223)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
22 Sep 17
Oh, my, your brother must not do that to you. he should inquire first.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83223)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
22 Sep 17
@JustBhem oh, at least. I am happy to know about your reconciliation.
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Sep 17
Nah, he always likes that most of the time and we are okay now.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Sep 17
Probably you were misunderstood. By the tone of your voice while talking to your Mom might have triggered them to talk back at you. Thinking that you were scolding your Mom....
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
It could be. They always misunderstood me. Like I never did well here.
@Neiltarquin (1062)
• Rass, Saudi Arabia
17 Sep 17
To avoid additional conflict, it is best for you not to do anything harsh. No matter what happens, your mother needs you now the most. Talk to your brother that what happened was an accident and no one wants that to happen. Blaming each other will not resolve anything and would never turn back time. Make them realize that what they did was not good. They should be the one who would understand the situation better becauae they are the older ones.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Sep 17
Thanks, and I do understand your point. And everything is working okay now.