So Much For Disneyland

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Last year my stepdaughter's aunt talked to me and my boyfriend about a trip they were planning to Disneyland for my stepdaughter's 16th birthday. They wanted us to go too and invited us to go along. It was mentioned a few times after that and then they stopped mentioning it and I forgot all about it. Until just now when their happy photos popped up in my Facebook newsfeed of them at Disneyland, with my stepdaughter's mother. This is the second or third time they've invited us to join them on their Disneyland trips (they go at least once or twice a year, and they live out of state) and then end up going with someone else. I have never been to Disneyland and it would have been really nice to go, especially for my stepdaughter's big 16th birthday. Part of me thinks, well, that's her mom, her mom is more important. But her mom gave her away when she was 10 because she wasn't properly taking care of her. My stepdaughter has cerebral palsy and her mom is in denial that she has any special needs. When the aunt and uncle told her she either had to give them custody or they would no longer be a part of her life because they weren't going to sit by and watch her neglect her daughter to the point where she couldn't communicate, she didn't hesitate to sign her over. She kept my boyfriend's daughter from him for years and kept lying about how she was doing whenever he called. She did not consult him when she signed over custody to the aunt and uncle; he found out after the fact. Plus, she went two years after signing over custody to the aunt and uncle without even visiting or hardly contacting her own daughter. It only occurred to her to visit when she heard that my boyfriend was visiting and she didn't want to look like the "bad parent." We live in California and it would have made more sense to have us drive down there to meet with them for my stepdaughter's 16th birthday. But I guess they would rather fly the mom out from the other side of the country and not even bother to tell us that they were coming to our state. It wouldn't annoy me as much if they hadn't already invited us to go last year, and now seeing the mom enjoying the trip that we were originally invited on is like a slap in the face. It seems like the only time they make an effort to see us or invite us to see them is when they want money, even though they are financially waaaay better off than we are. It is frustrating when you're told you are an important parental figure in a child's life and are encouraged to take part in her life as much as possible, but she lives in another state and when she does come out to your state, you don't even get to visit. Plus it hurts me on my boyfriend's behalf to constantly see him excluded from her life, or treated like the afterthought parent, when he gave up everything for her when she was a baby and her mom screwed him over. I will never badmouth her mom to her face, but that woman is not a good person. And I know the aunt and uncle feel the same way so I'm confused why they included her in their happy family Disneyland vacation and uninvited us (without even notifying us) yet again.