not a tale of the girl

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I was going to tell you the Tale of the Girl, but then I started to wonder if perhaps my feelings towards her are more a reflection of my own horridness; am I simply a really horrible person? I don't think I am. For my entire existence on this grey and polluted planet I have found social situations difficult and uncomfortable. I'm the standoffish one who quietly sits and observes. Talk to me and I will talk back, but it will be painful and stilted because I don't know you, and you make me anxious. I have been assured that this is all just in my head, but that makes me feel sad. I do admire those folk who can talk to anybody about anything. Indeed, my two closest friends at work are that type, and likewise, I found both of them incredibly intimidating when first we met. I'm even sure that in time I will become friends with the Girl, but for now she does irk me. I sit in the office-y staffroom-y room and come close to banging my head on the desk, or shouting at her to just SHUT THE EFF UP!!!. Her fake laugh, her loud voice, her self-love, the looks of evilness that she shoots in my direction, the way she butts in on our conversations, her Me! Me! Me! attitude, and the fact that nearly everybody in her family works at the same place ... it all makes me want to cry. But this all says more about me than her. And I think that what it truly boils down to is me hating the new environment at work, which is too big, too noisy and too open. She's just an easy excuse because she's the main contributer to the chaos and noise. But she is annoying.