Is It Really The Thought That Counts?
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
Perth, Australia
December 25, 2017 11:07pm CST
"It's the thought that counts." I've been hearing that saying for as long as I can remember. I have been saying it myself for a very long time because I do believe that we should be grateful for whatever presents we receive on a special occasion. It doesn't have to be an expensive gift nor do our gifts have to cost anything at all. Can be handmade. So yes, it's the thought that counts right?
That saying had very little meaning to me recently when it was my Aunty's birthday. Her son made her a birthday card which was actually a piece of paper folded in half, with a not so neat Happy Birthday message written inside. And her present was a small packet of P.K chewing gum.
In most cases I would think "aw how cute is that. A little hand made card with some gum." Only my Aunty's son is a 37 year old man. He is fine with spending money on his weed but not something nice for his mother. He lives with his mum rent free. I just feel he could have shown more appreciation towards his mother on her special day.
So is it really the thought that counts when not much thought was put into it at all?
6 people like this
8 responses
@moirai (2948)
• Philippines
26 Dec 17
"It's the thought that counts" is true as long as there is thought behind it. But for what you described, there seems to be little to no thought put into it, like you say. I agree with @sharon6345, that it would have been better to give nothing at all. And if he was in fact, sincere in wanting to give his mother something, but can't afford anything, then instead of giving gum and a 'card', he could have done something like... do the dishes, clean the house, the toilet, weeded the garden...
4 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
31 Dec 17
@moirai I agree with you! And I am ashamed to say he doesn't even do those things for her either. As far as I know he hardly lifts a finger around that house to help her out.
@Daljinder (23193)
• Bangalore, India
26 Dec 17
Was he trying to be funny? If he wasn't, I will feel insulted and tell him so in not so nice words. 
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Dec 17
@Daljinder In a way he was trying to be funny yet....that is still all she ended up with from him. She did not get anything else from him. So although it was a bit of a joke to him, the whole thing is still crappy. There was nothing nice to replace the "joke gift" with. 
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
31 Dec 17
@Daljinder It's actually funny ( not literally ) but I was telling Fuzzball recently that I don't really like saying "They are acting like children" anymore but I find that children often act much more mature than adults. Take Trump for example lol yeah I had to mention him.
That is just a tiny thing he has done that is so wrong. Not all that long ago he was angry at my Aunty because she wouldn't make him dinner....it was about 11pm. She had just come back home from a long day out. Not only that. 37 years old. Pretty sure he is capable of making his own dinner.
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23193)
• Bangalore, India
27 Dec 17
@VivaLaDani13 You know when I was reading it felt like we are talking about a kid but then you mentioned 37 years old. We talk about kids lacking in the respect department when it comes to parents. Adults aren't any better, are they?
In any case, this was a very distasteful joke because there wasn't anything to replace the joke gift. Maybe he missed the memo on how to joke about presents. Ask his Mom to gift him the "Rules to Joke" and " An Etiquette Guide" next time. Then they will be even!
We talk about kids lacking in the respect department when it comes to parents. Adults aren't any better, are they?
In any case, this was a very distasteful joke because there wasn't anything to replace the joke gift. Maybe he missed the memo on how to joke about presents. Ask his Mom to gift him the "Rules to Joke" and " An Etiquette Guide" next time. Then they will be even!1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58679)
• Delhi, India
26 Dec 17
Ideally speaking it should be the thought that counts, however, if one is materialistic than a costly gifts counts, not the thought.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
26 Dec 17
@dpk262006 I see what you're saying. I guess it depends on the person etc. But yeah I wasn't very pleased hearing about my Aunty's gift. Only because she does so much for her children. She didn't have to receive anything of course but she wasn't even given a nice card. Just a piece of paper folded in half with a quick scribble written inside. For a 37 year old to do that, I find it quite disappointing.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58679)
• Delhi, India
26 Dec 17
@VivaLaDani13 From your Aunty's point of view receiving a hand written scribbled paper card is really disappointing. Her son might have gifted her something good and which could be of any use to your Aunty. May be he does not know how to respect parents/elders or he is a miser and a selfish person.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (502427)
• Italy
31 Dec 17
@VivaLaDani13 It's very sad to have a son who does not care.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (502427)
• Italy
1 Jan 18
@VivaLaDani13 What a horrible story, it is incredible how horrible children can be... well sometimes also parents toward their kids.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
31 Dec 17
@LadyDuck I agree with you completely! I feel awful her own son lacked a lot that day.
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
26 Dec 17
The thought counts if it's a sincere one. If it's a half-hearted "thought" then I would rather not get anything. I'm curious about his mother's reaction when she received that "card".
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 18
@VivaLaDani13 Nice of you to do that, I'm sure she really appreciated it. 
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
2 Jan 18
@cahaya1983 Yeah she did. And lucky me, the chocolates I picked for her were her favourite lol I didn't even know but glad they were.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
31 Dec 17
@cahaya1983 When my Aunty was telling me the story she was kinda laughing it off but I could tell that she was hurt. She said I made her feel better because when I first saw her I handed her flowers and chocolates. That made me feel good but I still felt bad that her own son couldn't do something nice.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Dec 17
@WorDazza I absolutely agree with you. 
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45628)
• Philippines
26 Dec 17
at his age and living rent-free, i hope he helps around the house. if he has a job, but earns little, then at least buy something cheap but useful.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
31 Dec 17
@hereandthere Sadly and annoying, no. As far as I know and from what my Aunty has told me he hardly does anything around the house. In fact I believe that he thinks she should be doing everything. As a 37 year old, he is capable of doing things around the house but for some reason, he just doesn't.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (98005)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
26 Dec 17
In this case, the saying does not apply. He put no thought into that gift and for a man his age he should be ashamed of himself. No love or respect for his mom at all.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
31 Dec 17
@RasmaSandra It's quite strange actually. It's like a Jekyll and Hyde kind of thing because he is the emotional one out of the 3 boys she had yet he is so selfish. I wish I knew what he was thinking and if he really thought it was a good idea to do that for her.
1 person likes this
