I have to vent, otherwise I'll snap

Venting helps some.

@spiderdust Why "can" she? She sounds like a CPS case!

@TheHorse We've tried, at least in the past, and it hasn't done a lot of good. We have to take her to court at this point (at least from what I've been able to learn), and that takes time. We don't have the resources for a lawyer right now, so everything is going very slowly.

My stepchildren's mother got evicted from their home last Saturday. We had a couple days' notice that they'd be coming to live with us indefinitely, although nothing in the court order has been changed yet, so we're trying to get the legal stuff dealt with while suddenly trying to care for the needs of displaced, overwhelmed, and angry children. The fact that she is still collecting child support while we are fully caring for the children (in essence "paying double") is a frustration that can't be helped right now since this literally just happened, but it does make it harder. She sent the kids here with no clothes, without one child's medication, and without any of their legal documents (SS#s, vaccination records, even names of pediatricians or doctor's offices), and is refusing to hand any of that over. She claimed she would drop their stuff off last Saturday night, but went to a Rocky Horror Picture Show event instead. She then said she would meet us and the kids in front of her daughter's high school on Monday to give us their things, but canceled at the last minute -- and then did it again on Tuesday, and again on Wednesday. We live an hour south of that school district, so these are all special trips that we have to make, not to mention it's been hard on the kids for her to keep doing this. On Wednesday, she said that she had a right to take time for herself and that she wasn't going to answer any messages, and that they would survive without their things until April 4th (her son will be completely out of medication before then). On Thursday, one of the children had a serious crisis and we tried to contact her. After multiple texts were sent and phone calls were ignored (her voicemail is full), a friend of hers answered the phone and said that she was "having too hard of a morning" to deal with any of this, and proceeded to lecture about how we needed to "respect her needs". It's hard on everyone right now, and she's making it harder simply because she can.

@spiderdust I hope you're feeling better today. Sometimes we just have to accept that these people are going to cause problems and hope that karma takes care of them

I completely know what you mean about 'liking' posts. This is a pattern of behavior for this woman that I've seen over the years ("why aren't you helping my innocent children!?"/"I have my own needs, you deal with it"), but she's really reached some new lows this time.

@sprite1950 Today is much better!

@spiderdust Normally you have 24 hours to cancel tickets and get a refund. Otherwise it's non refundable and the fee is hefty for changing dates.

@just4him We should be good on time then. I'm hoping we can talk to his mother tomorrow and look into changing the trip to May instead of outright canceling.

We haven't canceled the tickets yet, but are planning to do that on Monday. Things have been so busy.

@spiderdust Oh, yeah, forgot about the permission thing.. ugh. You're just going through it this past week!

I don't yet know. We haven't even told his mother yet what's going on, there hasn't been time.

Although at this point, we wouldn't be able to take the other kids because their mom would have to give permission for their dad to take them out of state (and she won't).

@spiderdust Thanks for the chuckle.

I swear, I'm going to come out of this looking like Keith Richards.

@TheHorse Ha! You think I'm kidding!

See my response to @TheHorse in this thread.

I know exactly how it happened -- I got into a relationship with someone who has an unstable and immature ex-wife. Thank goodness he's worth it, but this part sure is hard.

@spiderdust yes I can imagine that it is.

@spiderdust Wow, that is awful, I knew it was about the kids but didn't know it was that bad. I would make sure to get her with abandonment so she can't get them back once they get into a stable home life. Poor kids, at least they have you as a good mom to take care of them but I am sorry your plans had to be destroyed for it. Your a good woman to take them in like that.

Well, it makes sense that she'd ask their dad to take care of them. He is their dad, after all. She should have told us as soon as she knew she was losing their home so we could have made plans, made a smoother transition to new schools, had time for them to pack, etc. Instead, she waited until the last minute, gave us nothing, and has the "you have them now, you deal with it" attitude, all the while thinking that she can snap her fingers and get them back when she's ready to play parent again.

@spiderdust i sympathize with you. but i am happy because the kids are fine living with you there

She's the mother of my 3 stepchildren. I put more of an explanation in my response to @TheHorse below. She and her friends are unlikely to see this here, so I can post about my situation without creating unwanted drama for myself.

Just read your message.

It is very hard on the children. It is so hard on them, and she could have made it so, so much easier. She had time. One of them is very angry and not channeling that anger in appropriate ways, and we're trying to deal with that too.

@spiderdust wow. This just all sounds so hard. Take care. Poor kids. Poor you.