Have you ever asked your partner to change? Why?

@marguicha (226509)
Chile
September 1, 2018 5:31pm CST
I am watching with one eye a show called "All in 90 days". An American man or woman are supposed to meet, woo and marry a person from another part of the world all in 90 days. If they do, the one who is not American can live in the US. The show is mostly irritating. Some people from other places come to the US to live an American dream that not many people have. They don´t know each other and some of them want to change the other too. I wonder how young men and women, many of them nice, fall for such a crazy scheme. And then, during that incredible courtship, they ask the other to change. Would you ask your partner to change? In what ways? Why? Do you think that you will succeed?
8 people like this
7 responses
Anna
@LadyDuck (474276)
• Italy
2 Sep 18
No, I would not ask to my husband to change. There are things that he does and I do not like (he is a bit of a hoarder with books), but I surely also do things that he dislike. Asking to change is the end of a relationship.
2 people like this
marguicha
@marguicha (226509)
• Chile
2 Sep 18
I did not like all my husband did or liked either, but I accepted him as he accepted and respected me.
2 people like this
marguicha
@marguicha (226509)
• Chile
2 Sep 18
@LadyDuck I often asked people why did they get married if they wanted to change their spouses. Now that I´m older, I don´t ask any longer
2 people like this
Anna
@LadyDuck (474276)
• Italy
2 Sep 18
@marguicha Exactly the same between us.
1 person likes this
Courtney
@Courtlynn (67091)
• United States
1 Sep 18
Most people need to change, in one way or another.
1 person likes this
marguicha
@marguicha (226509)
• Chile
2 Sep 18
We can´t.
Courtney
@Courtlynn (67091)
• United States
2 Sep 18
@marguicha we cant what? Change? Yes we can, anyone can. Just have to want to.
marguicha
@marguicha (226509)
• Chile
2 Sep 18
@Courtlynn Would you start liking sports if you don´t like it? Isn´t it better if people liked you for what you are and you did the same with them?
koopharper
@koopharper (7601)
• Canada
2 Sep 18
Sounds a bit like TLC's "90 Day Fiance". I've seen clips on Youtube and it looks to me like they go out of their way to find the most dysfunctional couples possible to put on the show. I think if you're trying to change each other during a short courtship like that, you probably aren't right for each other.
1 person likes this
marguicha
@marguicha (226509)
• Chile
2 Sep 18
I absolutely agree with you. I don´t think anyone has any right to ask another person to change.
1 person likes this
Margarita
@Meramar (2695)
•
2 Sep 18
If you need to ask someone to change, maybe that person is not the right partner for you. Nobody will change to be that one you are looking for. Instead of trying to change the other party, we have to learn to accept the person as he/she is.
1 person likes this
marguicha
@marguicha (226509)
• Chile
2 Sep 18
I wholly agree with you. You cannot either try to change the other or try to change yourself to fit in what you think the other wants.
1 person likes this
Starmaiden
@Starmaiden (9310)
• Canada
2 Sep 18
I don't think anyone has the right to ask anyone else to change. If something has got to change, change yourself is what I say.
1 person likes this
marguicha
@marguicha (226509)
• Chile
2 Sep 18
The thing is, no one can do it. We are what we are.
1 person likes this
rosé
@mnglsp (3648)
• Philippines
2 Sep 18
Honestly, I don't know. It's just that my mom tells me that you will change yourself without him asking.
1 person likes this
marguicha
@marguicha (226509)
• Chile
2 Sep 18
In my experience, no one changes much during their lifetime. At the most, we grow up and mature. Changing would be going against our true nature.
1 person likes this
John Roberts
@JohnRoberts (109845)
• Los Angeles, California
1 Sep 18
I never had a partner so no issue.
1 person likes this
marguicha
@marguicha (226509)
• Chile
2 Sep 18
But would you?
1 person likes this