Engaged before your married

@kids91911 (4365)
United States
November 28, 2006 12:29pm CST
Are you engaged? I am and how long to you think a person should be engaged before getting married. How long is to long and how short is to short?
4 people like this
36 responses
@Lovely_Lady (1524)
• United States
29 Nov 06
I've been engage for almost seven years now and yet not married. Know what I mean? It's a long time but hey I got to know for sure sure that we don't have to go through a divorce. Everyone has their ups and downs and I'm sure I would want to do the right thing only.
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
29 Nov 06
I know somebody that has been engaged for 13 years on.
• United States
29 Nov 06
7 and 13 years? I think that's way too long to be engaged. If someone's needs that much time to make sure that they've found the right person, they're probably postponing the wedding for a reason.
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
30 Nov 06
I think so to.
• United States
28 Dec 07
you were enngaged 1 year ago?
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Mar 08
Yes. Well, almost 2 years, now. May of 2006 to May of 2008.
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
23 Mar 08
Thank you for your response.
• India
29 Nov 06
i dont think engaging before marraige is needed cause this makes you get bored of ur partner and thus resulting in controversies..
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
30 Nov 06
okay that is a different way of thinking.
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
30 Nov 06
okay that is a different way of thinking of engagment and marriage.
@mnflower (1300)
• United States
17 Mar 08
This day and time, I don't think that it matters how long you are engaged when the couple are ready they will know and then it will happen, if you try to put a time limit on it the outcome might become too stressful and not work out for you..I have pre engaged for 7 years and I love it that way, I am in no hurry to get married I know I am going to be with the man forever and have boughten a house and started couple business;s with him I don't think being married should have a time limit at all//.
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
23 Mar 08
Thank you for your response.
@tonixxx (358)
30 Dec 07
I am engaged and i think that it depends on your individual circumstances. I have been engaged a year and have not planned a wedding, we have talked about it but are struggling with responsibility or doing what we want. I have a friend who has been engaged for less that a year and has booked the wedding, her mum is wealthy and is paying for it, but she has just fallen pregnant and had to postpone. My sister in law has been engaged for over 16 years, so i don't think there is a right and wrong engagement period. Weddings are expensive affairs and some people need to save for it, other people can wade in and get it sorted straight away and some are comfortable being just engages tthe fact that the man wants to marry them is enough. So concentrate on what you want to do rather then worrying about how other people percieve it.
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
23 Mar 08
Thank you for your response.
• United States
6 Mar 07
You can be engaged for hoever long you want to. If you want to plan a wedding in 3 months, good luck. If you want to wait 5 years, great for you. It's a completely personal decision. I got engaged last May and I hope to get married next May, but that might not happen.
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
23 Mar 08
Thank you for your response.
• Canada
6 Mar 07
I think it depends on the couple. I have been engaged since Oct of 2005 and am getting married in August of 2007. So I will have been engaged for almost 2 years when I finally get married. In that time we have had a child together. I found out I was pregnant one month after getting engaged. I'm sure had I not gotten pregnant, we would've been married by now. I don't think there is a definitive too long or too short. It's what is right for the couple.
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
23 Mar 08
Thank you for your response.
• United States
4 Mar 07
Well I would say stay engaged for as long as possible. I was married once (but am now divorced) and I was engaged for almost 9 months. It seemed long enough to me. And my marriage was great for the first 2 years. I would say, in short, to make sure you know everything you need to about your partner, and if you don't make sure you love him enough to handle it :)
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
23 Mar 08
Thank you for your response.
• Romania
5 Jan 07
I am not engaged but i want, because i have one relation too long by 5 year,i await that i coming out well avanced studies for this step in my live.Not methinks that there is easy to be married ,because be supposed to work for family,not yet are lone, must that to think of at them.
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
14 Jan 07
Thank you for your response!!!!
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
27 Dec 06
There really is no straight answer as it depends on 1 thing, how long do you think it will take you to plan the wedding? My brother was engaged for only 6 months, my sister for 1.5 years! Me, 1 year almost exactly. 1 year seems to be the standard for booking things and gives you ample time to plan. However if you don't want a lot of details, you can plan in less, or if you are really busy, you can always push the wedding date another year. I personally don't understand the point of being engaged for 2 years or more because after a point I think - why don't you just get married already! So there's my very crooked answer :) Hope it helps a little!
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for your response!
• United States
27 Dec 06
No I am recently divorced and I was engaged for a very short time because my ex is in the military. I think that a couple should be engaged for as long as possible. For instance if you had only been dating a short while and you feel this is the person for you for the rest of you life than I think you should have a long engagement to get to know each other better and make sure. Other than that I truely believe that it's up to the couple.
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for your response!
@tibbler (229)
• United States
26 Dec 06
my two friends just got in engaged back around thanks giving of this yr & are getting married in april of 07. I sware thats way to soon. Plus they just meet back in October of this yr too. I have tried to tell him but he thinks he knows it all.
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
5 Jan 07
Thank you for your response!
• United States
30 Nov 06
I think one year is a good time to be engaged. That way you have plenty of time to get the wedding together. As a woman I think it's something you shouldn't rush because as little girls you dream about it so it should be perfect. I've never been married and I'm not engaged but when it happens that's how I plan on doing it.
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
30 Nov 06
That sounds nice.
• United States
30 Nov 06
our car - This was how everyone decorated our car at the wedding! It took us days to get all the confetti out of the car!!!
Well, I did things the "non-traditional" way. My guy had talked about getting married in a year (after we'd had the talk about it). Then we found out we were pregnant. We both knew without a doubt we loved each other, and we wanted to get married anyways. We just chose to move it way up! We had no reason at that point NOT make make our family official. So we were engaged for a month, and I still had a fairly good sized wedding (100 people). It was a beautiful wedding!
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
30 Nov 06
That's cool and nice picture.
• United States
30 Nov 06
Well, I did things the "non-traditional" way. My guy had talked about getting married in a year (after we'd had the talk about it). Then we found out we were pregnant. We both knew without a doubt we loved each other, and we wanted to get married anyways. We just chose to move it way up! We had no reason at that point NOT make make our family official. So we were engaged for a month, and I still had a fairly good sized wedding (100 people). It was a beautiful wedding!
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
30 Nov 06
cool
• United States
30 Nov 06
Well, I did things the "non-traditional" way. My guy had talked about getting married in a year (after we'd had the talk about it). Then we found out we were pregnant. We both knew without a doubt we loved eachother, and we wanted to get married anyways. We just chose to move it way up! We had no reason at that point NOT make make our family official. So we were engaged for a month, and I still had a fairly good sized wedding (100 people). It was a beautiful wedding!
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
30 Nov 06
That is very nice. My first wedding I had kid first them married. I am engaged to a good guy now but never wants to talk about when we are getting married.
@Daffs06 (300)
• Indonesia
30 Nov 06
I was engaged before getting married. it's about 6 months
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
30 Nov 06
That's cool.
@baysmummy (1638)
• Australia
30 Nov 06
I am engaged and have been for around 6 months now, and we plan on getting married September 2007, I think engagement longer then 18 months is to long and an engagement shorter then a month is to short, But i think it really comes down to the couple and how long they have been together and what they would prefer!
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Very well put.
• United States
30 Nov 06
My husband and I were only engaged for two months before we got married. We got married five months after we met.
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
30 Nov 06
That is cool.
• United States
29 Nov 06
We were engaged for a year before getting married. It was the perfect amount of time to prepare for the wedding-there was no rush on any of the plans. I think that's a good amount of time for an engagement. Anything over 2 years seems like you're delaying it because you're not sure.
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4365)
• United States
30 Nov 06
I agree!!