Anxiety

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So I'm sitting in the lobby at the mental health clinic, which is not an easy feat for some such as myself. The transit bus dropped me off 90 minutes before my noon appointment and it is now twenty after twelve and I still have not been called back. I know I need to be here, I am out of all my medications, but the inner demons are still trying to call out and tell me I'll be just fine to leave. Patience has never been a virtue of mine either, and as my mind starts to wander I can't help but wonder if the waiting game is part of the grand scheme of big Pharma and their ridiculous hold on the population as a whole. Pills that cost pennies to make, and hundreds to purchase. Keep them coming back, and keep them waiting so the masses become entirely dependent yet entirely fearful of the whole system. I have to tread lightly along that fine line that bleeds through my entire core wobbling through genius and insanity every so carefully. One false move and they will keep me here, for a minimum of 72 hours, and I simply don't need that (again). I am confident I don't need to stay, I'm doing quite well on the stupid pills, but I most definitely intend to express to the doctor my full intent to NOT rely on medication for the duration of this crazy roller coaster I call my life. Mundane is boring, and bipolar is a label. Everything in this world is about self control and all circles back to the human mind, which is a fascinating creature. God bless to all, and hope your week is going wonderfully. I'll continue to sit and wait patiently and be thankful for this laptop of mine. I will be sure to give another thank you to the shelter resident that gifted it to me at Christmas time for fixing his phone.