Have you ever considered suicide?
@Nevena83 (65280)
Serbia
January 28, 2019 12:59pm CST
Good evening friends.
I did not want to write this post, but I could not stand it.
The morning began with the father attacking me for something, and I did not know what it was about. I asked him, but he just came out. The mother immediately reacted with words to return the bottle to her, only then did I understand what she was talking about.
I continued my discussion with her because she did not even ask me if I had disturbed him with alcohol. I was furious.
My father, as you know, is an alcoholic drinking and drunk publicly and hiding. Throughout the farm we can find hidden bottles of alcohol. He in a drunken state forgot where he left a bottle and attacked me.
It's been a couple of hours and he insulted me tonight, humiliated ....
I just can not stand it anymore. 
Sometimes I came to get away from everything, to kill myself, to kill him ... I do not know what else.
I'm just tired of insulting, from ugly words, from an elevated tone ...
Do you sometimes feel helpless?
Sometimes I came to get away from everything, to kill myself, to kill him ... I do not know what else.
I'm just tired of insulting, from ugly words, from an elevated tone ...
Do you sometimes feel helpless?34 people like this
19 responses
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
28 Jan 19
Please don't let the bad speech and behaviour of other people spoil your life and happiness.
4 people like this
@much2say (53941)
• Los Angeles, California
28 Jan 19
So sorry you are having to go through this. I hope there is a way that you can leave this living situation - it sounds dangerous to stay. Killing yourself or anyone else is definitely not the answer - I truly hope you can get help on this!
4 people like this
@snowy22315 (171372)
• United States
29 Jan 19
Go to a safe house in your community. Life is more than what you are living. Maybe someone there can help you make a plan. I am so sorry you are experiencing this. You need to get away no matter what you have to do. We would all miss you at Mylot..and I am sure others would too.
.
.2 people like this
@Nevena83 (65280)
• Serbia
29 Jan 19
Thank you for your support. The conversations with all of you helped me to calm down a bit.
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
29 Jan 19
That is NOT an option.try to find help to get away. There has to be organization s who help out.
2 people like this
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
29 Jan 19
@Nevena83 first you try to find an organization that will help you.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (65280)
• Serbia
29 Jan 19
@responsiveme Yes, I could contact them. Probably the conversation would help me.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
30 Jan 19
I'm sorry things are that way. I know all too well how it is when one's family (dad) turns against you. You may even know that you aren't the problem, that *he* has problems , but even knowing that you still do realize that you cannot stop him... and he is going to drag you into his problems, too.
Here we have something called social services and social workers. Is there something like that there? Someone you can go to, confidentially - and tell them what you are experiencing. Here - they help people in desperate situations with places to go....
I have thought on taking my own life before. But almost all of the ways - you cant guarentee that you would pass away. Sometimes people survive - just badly maimed from the attempt - and, well, I never wanted to risk that. Please - don't you do it either. Try, instead to find a way out of there if at all possible.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
30 Jan 19
@Nevena83 Ah alas the system does not sound as helpful there as it is here.
You mentioned it's a farm there...
is there a way you could have a separate dwelling area? I know, that costs too. Way back I grew up on a farm, and sometimes I would think on having my own what they call - trailer home or modular housing - they are quite inexpensive as far as housing goes anyway.... but then of course one needs to have septic, water, electric.....
Or maybe even a camper trailer
Just some kind of space where you don't need to be subjected to your dad all the time.... I'm sure you've thought of these things too
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (65280)
• Serbia
30 Jan 19
@FayeHazel Yes, I was thinking about everything, but there is no way to get away from it. I have my own room that is very small, but I have to get out of it so that I can prepare myself and the child to eat.
1 person likes this
@Aquitaine24 (11653)
• San Jose, California
30 Jan 19
Get away fro a while is a good idea from what you said
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (65280)
• Serbia
30 Jan 19
I have no place to go, because I do not have money to pay for the apartment.
@lovebuglena (43212)
• Staten Island, New York
30 Jan 19
This is just terrible, especially since you are in the middle of all this. I hope that things turn around for you. Being in this situation is not good.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (65280)
• Serbia
30 Jan 19
Thank you for your support. Yes, it is very difficult to live such a life.
@Nevena83 (65280)
• Serbia
30 Jan 19
It's nice that you never thought about it. Does that mean that you never had a major difficulty in life?
@WiseGhots (14607)
•
29 Jan 19
No. Never!
I'm sorry to heart that. Please, stay safe. 
1 person likes this
