Partner Piece

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This is my latest piece for presentation at the Hinckley Scribblers writing group. It is fairly self-explanatory, in that we have been asked to write a piece that can be read out by two people. The text will be printed out and a copy given to my unsuspecting "victim", with the all-important page break coming at the point indicated below. Will it work as intended? Here's hoping! *********************************************************************** A: Have you seen what we’ve been asked to do for this week? B: Something called “Partner Work” I believe. A: Do you know what that is? B: Haven’t a clue. What do you reckon it is? A: I think the idea is that you write a piece that works a bit like a play – a conversation between two people so you read half the lines and somebody else reads the rest. B: Like a dialogue in a play, you mean? A: Exactly like a dialogue in a play. As I said just now, if you’d been listening. B: Sorry. So have you written yours yet? A: I’m working on it. B: What’s it going to be about, then? A: That’s what I’m working on. I want it to be interesting and informative. I hold to the principle that one should always write from experience – you should write what you know. B: That should give you plenty of free time, then. A: Thanks. B: Don’t mention it. But seriously, I agree with you – you can’t just waffle on for page after page, like you’re doing now, if I’m not mistaken. A: As I said before – Thanks. But I have got an idea. What I really need is a thoroughgoing mug – I mean a fine upstanding citizen – who can be my partner and read out all the lines marked “B” if I read the lines marked “A”. B: Got anyone in mind? A: Funny you should mention that. I reckon you might be just the right candidate. B: Why do you say that? A: Good clear speaking voice, somebody who might scan their eyes down the first page of my script and think “This is a doddle, no problems here” and never give a thought to turning over to Page Two. B: What happens on Page Two, then? A: Do you really want to know? B: I think I do. A: Have you ever been on Mastermind? B: You’re changing the subject now. ************* Page Break *************************** A: So I am. Here we go then. B: Do we? A: Your name? B: A: Occupation? B: Scribbler. A: Specialised subject? B: Words, names and phrases that I can pronounce but not many other people can. A: OK – here we go then. Two minutes on – what you just said. What is the name of the first railway station you come to after crossing the Menai Straits on to Anglesey? B: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. A: Correct – or maybe not. What happens near Edinburgh on a Sunday morning after you and your mates have been recovering in the cells after downing far too much amber nectar the night before? B: The Leith Police dismisseth us. A: A valiant effort. And the longest word to be found in the works of William Shakespeare? B: Honorificabilitudinitatibus. A: Nearly. And how would you describe the rapid emergence of eight alternately coloured commercial vehicles on to the A447 at Cadeby? B: Red quarry lorry, yellow quarry lorry, red quarry lorry, yellow quarry lorry, red quarry lorry, yellow quarry lorry, red quarry lorry, yellow quarry lorry. A: As you say. The longest place name in the world? B: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu. A: Maybe. Oh dear, your time is up, which means that I can’t ask you for the complete chemical name of the protein titin, which as you probably know runs to nearly 200,000 characters and takes more than an hour to pronounce. B: Oh dear, what a shame, never mind. A: And will you be my partner the next time we do something like this? B: Pass.