How to be an Unwelcome Houseguest Part 3

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As I continue with this series I feel compelled to share with you just how important it is to make yourself as difficult as possible in order to be placed on the “Unwelcome” list. Not having your own transportation can make that easy, especially if you make your lack of transportation as inconvenient as possible. Make plans with your girlfriend (or boyfriend, or a random stranger) for the following day. Inform your hosts that you need a ride to your friend's house at 10 o’clock the next morning and, when the next day rolls around, provide an endless list of excuses as to why departure time needs to be postponed. The girlfriend isn’t answering her phone. The girlfriend only just got up. The girlfriend is spending quality time with her sister. The girlfriend…. Around 3 o’clock in the afternoon, announce that you are finally ready to go (or that the girlfriend is finally ready for your presence). When the host or hostess sets aside what they were working on dawdle. Allow them to discover that you and your brother (who is apparently a necessary part of your date) aren’t really ready to go. The brother is in the middle of an online game and it is of life or death importance that he finishes this part. If all goes according to plan the host or hostess (or both if you’re lucky) will lose their tempers and tell you that you either go NOW or you don’t go at all. To ensure that your name is on the top of the “Unwelcome” list, repeat this scenario as often as possible. At least once a day is ideal. Odds are they will also change the password to block your access to the home's WiFi.