Are My Priorities Backwards?
By KrauseHome
@KrauseHome (36448)
United States
April 18, 2019 4:02pm CST
I know someone who is going to be homeless in less than 2 weeks unless she finds a place to live. She has asked us if she can rent a room from us but only has $400. (Going rate in this area is at least $700 and she wants it to include everything.) She was sharing a 2 bedroom apt with some guy she did not really even get along with just because she had too. And cannot afford to live anywhere else.
The main issue is she is on SSDI. She does have some physical disabilities and uses a walker to get around so even at our place the stairs would have been difficult to maneuver all the time. And she has planned on doing an event the end of this month somewhere that is $55 to do to rent a table. Then she does not drive so will have to get Uber or Lyft there and back, etc. Not counting food.
My thoughts are: You're going to be homeless. You are on SSI and say you can only afford $400 for rent and going to go do an event the end of a month which will cost you almost $100 and think we are stupid for not understanding. I know I am rude with my way of thinking, but if you are disabled and can only afford $400 a month and going to be homeless, find a place to live instead of spending almost $100 to go do an event the same weekend you should be moving. We pay to have a home. It would cost us at least close to the $100 extra just for utilities probably for another person not counting do we have to help feed her?
Am I being uncaring or do I have a right now to think that her needing a place to live, and begging us to let her live here for $400 a month is too little? The last person on SSI payed us $600 a month and then left a huge mess to clean up.
~~TINA~~
12 people like this
10 responses
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
26 Apr 19
Yes she did. Yes, I was just too worried with the going rate being around $650 or so around here to rent a room she was not wanting to see the whole picture, and we are better off without it being a burden as I am sure she would have tried to always take advantage if she could.
2 people like this
@just4him (306538)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
19 Apr 19
If the event would bring in some necessary funds, then it's not a bad thing.
I understand where you're coming from not wanting to trust her when she has other priorities in her life. My question is, what about state aid? Has she applied for housing? It seems that would be the first thing she should have done if she's facing being homeless. It's what I did, and the apartment I have is beautiful. There are ways if she is willing to look for them.
3 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
26 Apr 19
She seemed to be making excuses when I asked about that. She is over 55 now and was told she should apply for 55+ housing places as well as there are quite a few around here that base it on income. Seeing the way she dealt with this, and now not really wanting to talk to me, I am glad we kept our word and said NO
1 person likes this
@just4him (306538)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Apr 19
@KrauseHome I'm glad you did too. She doesn't want to help herself.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8540)
• United Kingdom
19 Apr 19
I think it's irrelevant that she's on SSI - and it's not fair if you're going to assume there will be a problem just because someone else was. Other than that, you do have a point about priorities. I wouldn't see a friend on the street if I was able to help them but I would expect them to come to a compromise with the costs.
As for the event, that depends what it is. You said she's renting a table so is she using it to sell things or promote a business? Because that would be a priority as it is intended to increase income. If it's just for fun then, while I wouldn't want to deny anyone having a life, that seems like a lot of money to be wasting (unless, of course, she'd already booked and planned and paid for it before knowing she was going to be in this predicament).
It's up to you who you allow to share your home. But don't judge this person based on a different person leaving a mess. I don't know about the costs - you could either try to find a compromise eg. say you'll accept her offer but it won't include bills or ask that she contributes in other ways. Or you could just tell her that you're not going to take her in.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
29 Apr 19
Yes but I guess I should mention I am struggling Health wise, and such but understand we live in Tacoma, WA where rents are $600 at least for a room around here, and that means even for disabled. She is 55 and there are Senior Housing that she refused to check into months ago when she said she might be homeless in April May or June like 6 months ago. And she is not so close of a friend that I would break my Peace and let move in here for almost nothing. I hate seeing people who are homeless, but she has family who she has been posting being with lately even over night or for a weekend so why do I get the Blame for not letting her stay here? I am disabled, have enough Health issues to deal with instead of having to worry about someone else too.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8540)
• United Kingdom
30 Apr 19
@KrauseHome in that case, your health is your priority. It seems she has other options, although it could be that nobody else is willing or able to help her in the long term. But, of course, she still has the choice of the senior housing and it seems silly not to take it.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170090)
• United States
19 Apr 19
Some people have no common sense. I charge roomie 400 but he does help pay for the internet.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
26 Apr 19
She was only wanting to pay that... not realizing this is a house, and if she is going to use the kitchen to cook, etc it is bigger than the apt she was sharing. And going rate around here is $600 or more just for a room since apts are at least $750 for studios before utilities. Sometimes I think people have no idea what real life is like Financially until they've been there. She has always lived with someone.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
28 Apr 19
@snowy22315 Would not be worth the Stress, and seriously if you only want to pay $400 for rest and go do an event for $55 you have your priorities wrong. Spending $55 in hopes of at least being able to break even is a lot of $$ even for working people.
@snowy22315 (170090)
• United States
26 Apr 19
@KrauseHome Well 400 from her is 400 more than you had before. Only you can decide whether it is worth it I guess.
1 person likes this
@much2say (53958)
• Los Angeles, California
19 Apr 19
It's not rude - you have every right to think over her situation - you don't need to get into a situation yourself. You are just putting two and two together . . . if that person is not budgeting wisely, it will be more trouble down the road - especially if she is the demanding type.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
28 Apr 19
I feel she would be the Very demanding type and it would be HELP!!! Plus I know what her Ex was like as we rented to him, so how can she tell me she's upset she can't have him anymore but she is different that he was?
1 person likes this
@much2say (53958)
• Los Angeles, California
28 Apr 19
@KrauseHome She would be a big headache for you - totally not worth the stress!
1 person likes this
@skydream (1446)
• Agate, Colorado
18 Apr 19
I understand your point of view that if she's going to be homeless and can only afford 400 to save the money, is it possible she had that planned and paid for before hand ?
I don't think you're are uncaring i think that you're in a tough position.You can't make things harder on you and make you have to pay more because of someone else but it's also rough to turn someone away knowing they could be on the street. I don't think your priorities are backwards it's just unfortunate situation and you still have to make sure it won't negatively affect you.
3 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
28 Apr 19
Yes and why do people want people to feel Sorry for them only offering $400 for rent so they can go and do an event for $55 which would not even get them there to the event or food so they are out $70 at least before the event even starts. That is a lot of $$ to break even with, and not many working people want to invest in this, so how can she?
@jstory07 (134490)
• Roseburg, Oregon
23 Apr 19
She might be doing the event for extra money.
Maybe you could suggest that she apply to apartments according to your income. She might see if it would work out to let her stay with you while she is on a waiting list for the apartments.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
27 Apr 19
I am sure her and I would not see eye to eye on anything so that would not be a Good idea, plus she does not even respond to any of my messages lately on Facebook anyways when we said No to letting her stay here for only $400 a month but at the same time giving her plenty of suggestions. She does have family in the area so not sure why they are not too concerned where she is going to live.
@destry (2572)
• Kirkwall, Scotland
18 Apr 19
It sounds like she is taking advantage of you. If you ran a shop, would you sell your produce at 1/3 less then market price to someone, even if they were hungry... Maybe once - but, if that results in you going hungry / struggling?
I appreciate it is hard for people facing homelessness - I myself have been homeless so understand it, and I would not dream of spending $100 on a night out - every penny counts! Maybe she needs a wake up call!
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
30 Apr 19
Yes, I have been thinking that as well. Yes, it is a shame that she is disabled, but at the same time I have seen people with more of a Disability take iniative for themselves instead of wanting everything handed to them. Being homeless is hard but I think sometimes the only way some people will learn is to have to really struggle and learn how to survive without having everyone hand them everything.
1 person likes this
@janethwayne (5193)
• Philippines
19 Apr 19
It is so hard to have a lodger in our house because we can't control their mess when they leave.I also experienced to be approached for them to rent my spare room but I refuse them.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
28 Apr 19
Yes they think that we are Stupid as $400 would be a big help. But that means more utilities, more Stress, etc. I know we are making the Best decision and maybe some day she may understand it
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
29 Apr 19
Yes, and I feel I can feel Sorry to an extent, but not to where I will chance my Health right now for this
1 person likes this
