A phone call can make a big difference in your life.
By The Horse
@TheHorse (238305)
Walnut Creek, California
May 17, 2019 8:25pm CST
I was pretty pissed off after band practice Wednesday night. Rather than thanking me for making our two weekend gigs in spite of my pretty severe bronchitis, the band leader berated me (in front of my band mates) for doing some creative bass work over his lead vocals on the 'Dead's Franklin's Tower, a song I usually do.
Then, instead of thanking me for hanging with some members in the audience (during a break) and encouraging them to dance during our last set (these were the people who ultimately asked us for hugs and our cards at the end of the show), he berated me for being two minutes late to start that final set.
Then, when he handed me my $150 for the two sets, it was five $20 bills. He hadn'd told us that he'd be deducting 33% from each of our paychecks to pay for "studio time" at the place where we rehearse.
I was thinking of quitting the band (good bass players ARE in demand), but I waited a day to cool off and gave him a call today. We discussed where the money was going, what songs he wanted more and less bass "showmanship" on, how we could work on harmonies, and other things. We basically "made up."
Have you ever been on the brink of a "rash" decision and made a more rational decision after giving yourself time to cool off?
16 people like this
15 responses
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
18 May 19
In my case, it's called Being Married. Maybe that guy will be more considerate in the future? Congrats for being the adult.
3 people like this
@betlynfrnds (4071)
• United States
18 May 19
Years ago, I used to own a band. I had to deal with some very strange and at times unreasonable personalities. I worked very hard as a musician, ( basically I did most of the work since I used programmable synthesizers ). I worked equally as hard trying to keep peace with the idiots I shared a stage with. Eventually I fired my band. It was the best thing I did and my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. Since I programmed my own music and was able to play over top of the tracks and also sang, the show went on with me as a soloist.
1 person likes this
@betlynfrnds (4071)
• United States
18 May 19
@TheHorse Yes, I've had dealings with all of the above. 
I also agree that jamming for fun is so much better.
I also agree that jamming for fun is so much better.1 person likes this
@betlynfrnds (4071)
• United States
20 May 19
@TheHorse There is a big difference between the two. Open, mature communication is worth the effort. The problem I had is that I was always trying to reason with the unreasonable. That is not going to happen. Something else that's not going to happen is trying to 'please' such individuals.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238305)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 May 19
@betlynfrnds It's a conversation rather than trying to "please" someone.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (40029)
• Toccoa, Georgia
19 May 19
No, because I can remember a certain phone call I received many years ago, that truly did change the coarse of my life. If I had not received it in the way that it was presented (by certain family members), my husband and I would have gone in a different direction.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (40029)
• Toccoa, Georgia
19 May 19
@TheHorse It had to do with moving to a certain town. My husband and I were going to and then after a particular phone call, decided not to. Everything would have been different if we had moved to that town.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238305)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 May 19
@LeaPea2417 Interesting.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502427)
• Italy
18 May 19
In my opinion there is a sort of conflict of how you view things. This guy seems the precise kind of guy, who plans things, does not like improvisation and wants everything done on a schedule. You like to improvise, to make variations, you do not really care to be a few minutes late if you are enjoying the public... you will argue again in the near future.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
18 May 19
i presume yer playin' with this bunch'n blind faith? contracts're kinda important, aint they? glad ya'll worked't out 'n hopefully yer line f' communication'll stay open. 'tis a very rare time i can recall such 's i'm a thinker. i try to work out all angles. usually i've found later i'd been better off not givin' the benefit 'f the doubt to the opposin' parties. 'course, then there'd be the matter 'f the need fer bail funds....
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
18 May 19
@TheHorse i hear ya, nor poke the angry badger...
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238305)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 May 19
@crazyhorseladycx Of course I mean the angry wolf within me. I don't want to play that game.
1 person likes this
@crossbones27 (52905)
• Mojave, California
18 May 19
Sounds like you guys need better communication, so yeah, would say that phone call was important. I cannot stand when someone berates me in front of people, whether justified or not. I yelled at my old boss one time for doing that. He pulled up to work and straight told this one guy get your crap you are fired in front of everyone. I said, come on man, pull him aside and tell him that. Screw that, screw him, he is a piece of crap, he does not get that kind of respect.
I am like OK, so next time you berate me in front of everyone, You are more or less calling me a piece of crap and do not respect me. You do not think these guys see that. How they going to respect you if you do not respect them? Glad you guys worked it out though and sometimes fights are a good thing. Clears the air so to speak. Hope the best for you guys and that better be one killer song after that. 
1 person likes this
@crossbones27 (52905)
• Mojave, California
18 May 19
@TheHorse Indeed, my new way of explaining things too,. Here this guys explains it better than me. That band used to get so much love when I was a teenager barely hear of them anymore. I probably forgot about them 1000 times. Thanks for reminding us.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238305)
• Walnut Creek, California
18 May 19
@crossbones27 My pleasure.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (97983)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
18 May 19
Glad it worked out for you. Sure there have been times when anger got the best of me but luckily nothing really bad ever resulted from that.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
18 May 19
Oh yeah! I am a hot head and I have to cool off or I know I will say exactly what is on my mind and something do not need to be said.
Being a landlady, I had to learn to walk away and cool off. especially for the eviction, that moment when they tell me they are not paying and plan to live another month there for free (which is not free the courts makes sure the land owner gets that months rent). Now I just say nothing, hang the sign and get the court eviction going.
Once this guy told me he was gonna stab me, I already had 911 ready on the cell phone, When I said nothing and mashed call, he seen the phone and ran.
Okay now I am rambling. Bye.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (93194)
• Bangalore, India
18 May 19
So good that you made a call with a cool and composed mind and things worked out.
I avoid taking any decision when I am upset or full of negativity. They are impulsive ones and don't help me later. I like to think with cool head before making a decision.
1 person likes this
@JESSY3236 (22245)
• United States
21 May 19
I'm more a rash person. But after talking to my mother I would have done what you did. My mother always try to make me see a different way to things.
