Funerals are for the living, not the dead

@1creekgirl (40635)
United States
June 15, 2019 5:41pm CST
After posts by Gill and Carol DM about music at funerals, I wanted to write a few words. I noticed that a few said they didn't want to have a funeral when they died. And that's each person's choice to make. We have a friend whom I've requested prayer for...he has cancer that has spread and isn't a believer in Christ. When he dies, he's already made arrangements to be buried immediately, no funeral, no flowers, nothing. I respect his choice, but as his friends, it breaks my heart that we won't get to be there to comfort his wife. Funerals aren't for the person who passed away. They're for the loved ones left behind. There's nothing that's going to take away the pain of losing someone we loved. But I do believe there can be some comfort in the rituals and music of a service, whether it's very simple or very complex. It's a time to talk about the one who is gone, to share memories, and just to have others around, even when they don't know all the right words to say. I know my family will be heartbroken when God calls me home. But I want my funeral to be as much of a celebration as possible. Because I know I will be celebrating the most wonderful homecoming....I'll be with my Jesus and all my loved ones who have gone before me. And that assurance is only because I trust God with my eternal soul. Someone wrote, "If I live, Jesus will be with me. And if I die, I will be with Jesus." Whether we decide to have a funeral or not, the critical thing is to know our sins have been forgiven through faith in Christ.
32 people like this
12 responses
• United States
15 Jun 19
i'd rather 'em throw a big ol' bar-b-que if'n they wish to hang out. the gatherin' 'd be very small.
3 people like this
@1creekgirl (40635)
• United States
15 Jun 19
I love the idea of a big BBQ. You know how in the south we have to have plenty of food, whatever's going on.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Jun 19
@1creekgirl yes ma'am. i fear i jumped off ya lovely ladies discussions 'n slapped one out'n the universe myself. i hope that none'f y'all take 'ffense to such.
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (40635)
• United States
16 Jun 19
@crazyhorseladycx I think you are right on target.
1 person likes this
@LowRiderX (22907)
• Serbia
16 Jun 19
I absolutely agree here with @Nevena83 here. Although I still do not think about it
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (40635)
• United States
16 Jun 19
Do you have family or friends who might want to have a memorial service when you die?
1 person likes this
@LowRiderX (22907)
• Serbia
16 Jun 19
@1creekgirl Of course, I have a family, but I do not even think about it, and they even less. I'm only halfway, so it's too early for me to think about it
1 person likes this
@LowRiderX (22907)
• Serbia
16 Jun 19
@Nevena83 Probably, that's why these topics are foreign to me...
2 people like this
@rebelann (111416)
• El Paso, Texas
16 Jun 19
Sometimes all it takes to help a grieving family is to show up at their home and offer comfort and companionship regardless of their religious beliefs.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (111416)
• El Paso, Texas
16 Jun 19
@1creekgirl (40635)
• United States
16 Jun 19
That's true, we don't have to all believe the same thing to comfort each other. And often, it's just being there so they're not alone.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
16 Jun 19
I feel very much the same but I had just a short wake before the service for my mother, The service was wonderful, I did pick the music and the gathering after was when we could sit and talk and remember her and the good times.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
17 Jun 19
@1creekgirl I was delighted to see my cousins who I don't see very often and we reconnected.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40635)
• United States
16 Jun 19
I'm sure that meant a lot to you to be able to share those memories.
2 people like this
@nela13 (55818)
• Portugal
16 Jun 19
I have never thought about it and honestly talking about it depresses me a little.
1 person likes this
@nela13 (55818)
• Portugal
16 Jun 19
@1creekgirl yes, I know but for now I don't want to think about it.
1 person likes this
@Tonietta (1179)
4 Jul 19
We've just lost one of our cousin last week cause of cancer, and it is like a reunion to us families, cousin's, friends did come and pay respect and to comfort the wife and the kids that been left behind.
1 person likes this
@Tonietta (1179)
5 Jul 19
@1creekgirl yes, thank you he's with our creator now.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
16 Jun 19
It is Never easy when someone passes, but to be able to help Celebrate in their life and talk about it, and to the Loved ones of the one who has passed is important. Just helps let the other person know someone cares
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40635)
• United States
16 Jun 19
Nothing takes away the pain, but it can be a comfort to have others with us and to remember the loved one.
@Aquitaine24 (11653)
• San Jose, California
16 Jun 19
I agree with it being a celebration of life.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (96390)
• Marion, Ohio
16 Jun 19
I want my family and friends to just have a big party. I wont be there to know either way. Have the party in the middle of nowhere, thats where I enjoy being, and scatter my ashes there.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (96390)
• Marion, Ohio
16 Jun 19
@1creekgirl The 2 that would have any say know what I want.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40635)
• United States
16 Jun 19
Do you have your wishes written down? That's important for your family to know what you want.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (207500)
• Walnut Creek, California
16 Jun 19
Heck, I think our sins have been forgiven long before we die. There is no human who has lived a life wihthout jealousy, coveting, anger, etc. Just scatter my ashes over Montana and live the things we discussed. But don't tell anyone--I secretly hope some people cry.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40635)
• United States
17 Jun 19
Our sins must be forgiven before we die. And I 'm pretty sure there will be many tears shed when it's your time to go.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
16 Jun 19
I agree, there needs to be something for the family to have closure.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40635)
• United States
16 Jun 19
The life that left needs to be acknowledged and remembered.
@DocAndersen (54407)
• United States
16 Jun 19
It is a chance to say goodbye. But as you said it is truly a story for the living.
1 person likes this