"ruined"

Your friend has a secret to keep for her hubby doesn't want to or vice versa. Out of 42 years of married life, communication makes it strong and edifying. My wife and I are communicating as often as possible. Problems could easily be acted upon and solutions are reached. That's one of the secrets of a successful marriage.

I agree with you. I do not understand people who say things like that. My husband and I may not always agree, but at least we can talk about things. You have to let the other person know what is going on with you. They are never going to know unless you tell them.

I had a relationship like that - which is why I say 'had'. If I tried to talk to him, he'd get angry. He'd assume I was 'having a go' at him. He'd make it into an argument, blame me, and use it as an excuse to go out drinking or to sit in the corner on his computer, headphones on, and with his back to everyone. Thankfully, I'm not in that situation any more. I have a lovely man who will listen. If there is a problem, we'll talk about it. After 5 years with him, I still find it difficult sometimes. He understands, though. Well, we both understand each other as we've each had some relationships that didn't work out well. Now, he has had to get used to being with someone who loves him for who he is, who won't lie or say things that mean the opposite, and who isn't manipulative. I have had to get used to actually talking to him rather than bottling things up because there's nobody to listen.

Your way is the right way