Teaching my son to swim
By Sissy15
@sissy15 (12269)
United States
June 23, 2019 1:58am CST
Yesterday we took my son swimming. I am in the process of teaching him how to swim. Right now we are working on basic things like learning to get comfortable in the water and sticking his face in the water as well as kicking and floating. Floating has been sort of difficult with him because he has been too terrified to actually relax his body. I have slowly been teaching him how to relax his body and spread his arms and legs in the correct position. It's been a slow process. Today all of my work finally started to pay off when he floated on his own with a little help. I got him to relax and then I let him go when I thought he'd be able to float but stayed close by so I could grab him if I needed to.
He floated for about a minute on his own before he tried to move and started to sink a bit. I caught him before he had a chance. I was only an inch or so away. He was so proud of himself and it's amazing how much it boosted his confidence. As a parent watching your kids accomplish something for the first time is the most amazing feeling.
At my son's age, I already knew how to swim and float. I couldn't swim very well but I knew how. I have always been able to float fairly easily. I can just sit in water and float I don't have to be on my back. For whatever reason, I've always been relatively buoyant.
I originally thought about putting my son in swim lessons but was told I would be better off teaching him on my own because they only worked on the very basic things that even I could teach him. I was told my son will probably learn more with me teaching him than with them teaching him. We started a week ago and he has already made a ton of progress. I'm hoping by the end of the summer he will know how to float completely on his own without my help and maybe be able to do a bit of swimming. I don't expect him to be a strong swimmer but it'd be nice to see him swim a bit on his own.
Neither of my parents could swim and my mom was absolutely terrified of the water and having us near the water due to almost drowning as a kid so she would have my older siblings take us to the pool. She didn't want her fear to hinder us because she thought it was really important that we learned to swim. I learned how to swim at a neighbor's house when I was a little younger than my son. My older brother who is only a few years older than me actually taught me to swim. It's one of the few nice things he did for me as a child as well as taught me how to ride my bike. My parents never really taught me much growing up. My brother either taught me or I taught myself. I have tried to be there to teach my son the things he needs to know.
My son has a lot of anxiety so it's been a process because he has a lot of fears. We do our best to work through them and I do my best to let him know I'm there and I'm not going to let him get hurt if I can help it. I can't make promises with everything but I can let him know that I'll do everything in my power to be there until he is comfortable doing something on his own. I did let him go without telling him when he was floating and I thought he would be ok and he was. I also caught him the second he started to sink. Sometimes you have to know when the right time to let go is and that goes with anything. I need him to trust me but I also need him to trust himself.
It's a difficult line between losing his trust and trying to get him to trust himself. I don't want him to think he can't trust me because I let go but I also told him I wasn't going to let him sink. He was so proud of himself today and he has finally started to trust himself a little. I have always tried to be there for my son when he needs me the most. I try my best to teach him what he needs to know. I am horrible at sports but I went out with him and worked on his throwing, catching, and batting when he was in baseball. I do my best and sometimes it's not always going to be enough but I try. I am not always the best mother but I always try.
5 people like this
5 responses
@Aansh13 (11251)
• New Delhi, India
23 Jun 19
Reading your post, it reminds me of the times when my dad taught me and my brother how to swim, but unfortunately he only succeeded with my brother. I am still someone who doesn't know how to swim. I always wanted to learn swimming but sadly now I have no time to pursue it....
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
23 Jun 19
At least he tried. It takes a lot of patience on the parent's part and the child's too but especially the parent's part lol. At least he succeeded with one of you. It's too bad you didn't learn to swim. If my son can learn then most people can because he is terrified of everything and he makes it difficult because we have to address his fears before we can even begin to get anywhere. It's a long process for both the parent and child but I think today's bit of progress was just the encouragement he needed to keep going. He now has confidence he'll eventually get where he needs to be. Until they see that the work they're putting in is finally starting to pay off it's difficult teaching them because they start to lose confidence. It is a lot easier if you learn to swim as a child though.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
23 Jun 19
@Aansh13 It happens, unfortunately. My son is so full of anxiety over it so it has been a process with him. A few years ago he wouldn't even get in the pool and now he loves the water. I remember my sister took him in and he grabbed onto the stair railing of the pool steps and screamed bloody murder everyone was watching and they laughed at his persistence that he wasn't going to budge. It has taken me a long time to get him used to the water enough to be able to teach him. This year he's loving it but is still super terrified of everything. I've got him kicking and sort of floating and the fact that he's getting better has made a difference in his confidence. He is so afraid of everything that it has taken a lot of patience on my part to talk him through his fears and soothe him. Being tense in the water does no one any good. It just makes everything all the tougher. It's too bad you didn't learn but you aren't alone. I know a lot of adults who don't know how to swim.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
23 Jun 19
It's very important and never too late. I don't know about things there but here they do have adult swim lessons. I remember helping teach my friend to swim at my birthday party once we were 12 or 13. My husband was in high school before he learned. Neither of my parents can swim and it's something they regret never learning.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
23 Jun 19
It's difficult teaching them. My son has a lot of anxiety about a lot of things so teaching him to stay calm is difficult. I don't want him to be afraid of the water but I also need him to respect it. Water can be dangerous when you're not careful but if you go in terrified it's going to do more harm than good. It has taken him a long time getting comfortable with the water.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325854)
• Rockingham, Australia
24 Jun 19
That's great that your son is making progress with his swimming. I never learnt to swim as a child and still have no confidence in the water. From your posts it comes over that you are a very caring mother who goes out of her way to do the best for her son. Well done you.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
24 Jun 19
Thank you, and I try to be but I fail regularly. I try to at least be there more than my parents were for me. My parents weren't bad parents or anything but they wouldn't go out of their way or leave their own comfort zones for me the way I try to for my son. I've found it common that a lot of people don't know how to swim. I grew up in a really small town that was out in the country and we were always outside. My neighbors had a pool that they let us all swim in. I was over there almost every day and my brother taught me. I learned relatively quickly. It helps when you're comfortable in the water because when you have a lot of anxiety it hinders your learning experience.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
25 Jun 19
@JudyEv I can understand that. Once I started to learn I think I learned in about a week. I mean it took years to get relatively decent at it but I learned how to do the basic stuff in about a week. I grew up in sort of an ideal way. I wasn't completely in the middle of nowhere and yet I was. It was a tiny town with a population of about 200. We had some neighbors but not a lot and there were other small towns surrounding us. Where I live now is still small but way bigger than where I grew up the population here is about 30,000 give or take. It's the same school district as where I lived when I was a kid. I've always come to this city but I didn't live here until I was 12. I think had I actually grown up here I probably wouldn't have learned the things I did.
1 person likes this
