coughing and colding

Tweet

I had the flu jab on Saturday. I woke up on Sunday with the flu. Nah, I didn't. I was already succumbing to the cold that everybody else has, but it was only a tickle in my throat pre-flu jab. Now it's a fully-fledged, funky, mucus-y, nasty little cold. My throat has razor blades residing in it, my nose has dreams of being a waterfall of snot and my ears are heavy with the drumming of their own beat, a rock band in the making. Occasionally they crackle-cackle. Colds are funny things. They seem to serve no function, and they have no favourites. They come along, embrace almost everyone in the locality, and then scarper away with evil laughter, leaving a mess of crumpled tissues and discarded cough sweet wrappers in a world that would smell of honey and lemon, if only your nose wasn't blocked. Also, I appear to have a new pet. He is a bright green - possibly radioactive? - spider. I kid ye not. He lives amongst my clothing and we play a game. I flick him away. He comes back, as if he's attached to me by an invisible rope. Such a fun game! Monday. I do not love you.