Let's Discuss Relationships
@Deegoddess (104)
United States
October 8, 2019 10:39am CST
Do you believe expectations break or destroy a relationship? I do and I've learned why. When you expect anything from anyone it's the quickest way to become disappointed. Why place your happiness in someone else's hands? No one owes us anything. If one is to do anything for us it should be out of no obligation, it should be because they choose to with free will. Drop expectations in your relationship and watch how much more comes and how peaceful your relationship will be.
10 people like this
11 responses
@Daljinder (23233)
• Bangalore, India
8 Oct 19
I agree! I learned this lesson a while ago. The disappointment experienced is crushing. 
3 people like this
@Deegoddess (104)
• United States
8 Oct 19
Lesson learned. Learn to drop expectations and allow a person to step up and do for the relationship on their own. Let relationships unfold naturally.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
8 Oct 19
I agree. expectations only lead to disappointment and relationship problems. You are in charge of your own happiness and people are who they are. They aren't going to change because you expect them to.
2 people like this
@Deegoddess (104)
• United States
8 Oct 19
Exactly and you can't control anyone but you.
2 people like this
@Starmaiden (9311)
• Canada
8 Oct 19
I agree wholeheartedly. We are responsible for our own happiness whether in a relationship or not.
2 people like this
@Ladanger (14582)
• United States
8 Oct 19
@Deegoddess that's why i rather be single.
1 person likes this
@Deegoddess (104)
• United States
8 Oct 19
@Ladanger why not just work on learning how to drop your expectations and allow love to flow in naturally and the easy way?
2 people like this
@Deegoddess (104)
• United States
8 Oct 19
You get disappointed because you have high standards and hard boundaries. Who can live up to that? Any man you date will feel like making you happy is a chore.
2 people like this
@Nakitakona (56302)
• Philippines
9 Oct 19
That's true if you expect something from someone you will only be disappointed. It's you who make your own happiness.
2 people like this
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
11 Oct 19
I met a man on a vegan walk. He lived a long distance away from me like 6 hours on a very fast train. We fell deeply in love and met up once every fortnight. We felt like we were soulmates. Our relationship lasted around 8 months. One month after that I went into another relationship.on the rebound. I agree that dropping expectations would be the most sensible choice.
@innertalks (21026)
• Australia
9 Oct 19
Expectations are important in other areas of life though. If I have a lodger living in my house, and they do not meet my requirements, they will pretty quickly find themselves not a lodger again.
There are certain expectations that need to be met here, and they must be clearly stated to the person too.
Are expectations good or bad, in a relationship with someone else, though?
Love has its own expectations, or more levels of itself, that it will not depart from in order for it to remain still real love.
Love cannot drop its standards, and still remain love.
All of us similarly need to set levels of such expected behaviour too, as that is an issue of setting boundaries.
To not set any expectations leads to you not being disappointed on one level, but you are surely disappointed still on another.
It is not an ideal match if expectations are not minimally at least being met, or being tried to be met, by each party in that relationship.
@innertalks (21026)
• Australia
9 Oct 19
@Deegoddess Well, we could call God the ultimate lover, and I think that God has certain expectations of us.
We are expected to develop and to live from our own special God-given talents, not to waste, squander, or just to bury them.
Also, God wants us to follow his commandment to love him and others with our whole self, and person as fully as we can do so.
How can anyone live up to God's standards and expectations of us?
Going with the flow, and unfolding naturally does it every time.
And so to me, these things can work hand in hand, we can have certain expectations and standards, but not compel or expect others to follow them. We hold them for ourselves, but flow with everything else, at the same time.
Should we always go with the flow, of life or with the flow of love, or is there a difference between these two flows, and sometimes the flow of love or directive guidance of love is different from the pushing flow of life itself, which is perhaps testing our own individualised flow of love?
Yes, to me, there are two main flows, negative and positive, and the way of the world is negative, when you do not love, but when you follow love's flow first, the other outer world flows for you fully, properly correctly, positively, for you then too.
When I speak of love here though, I am speaking of spiritual love, not romantic love.
@Deegoddess (104)
• United States
9 Oct 19
Expectations and standards prevent love from entering into one's life. How can anyone live up to that? I've learned to just go with the flow of life, to stop expecting, have faith and let everything unfold naturally. Much easier and peaceful.
1 person likes this
@Deegoddess (104)
• United States
8 Oct 19
What do you think you could do differently now to stop expecting things from another person? Glad you recognize it. That's the first step.
2 people like this
@Starkinds (32703)
• India
8 Oct 19
I have a very hard relationship and I'm going through a tough time.
1 person likes this
@Deegoddess (104)
• United States
8 Oct 19
I can help. If you want, send me a message briefly telling me the issues.
2 people like this
