Let's Discuss Relationships

October 8, 2019 10:39am CST
Do you believe expectations break or destroy a relationship? I do and I've learned why. When you expect anything from anyone it's the quickest way to become disappointed. Why place your happiness in someone else's hands? No one owes us anything. If one is to do anything for us it should be out of no obligation, it should be because they choose to with free will. Drop expectations in your relationship and watch how much more comes and how peaceful your relationship will be.
10 people like this
13 responses
@Daljinder (22865)
• India
8 Oct
I agree! I learned this lesson a while ago. The disappointment experienced is crushing.
3 people like this
@Starkinds (17471)
• India
8 Oct
I'm agree with you DJ
3 people like this
8 Oct
Lesson learned. Learn to drop expectations and allow a person to step up and do for the relationship on their own. Let relationships unfold naturally.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (196753)
• United States
8 Oct
I don't expect anything from anyone. I don't even trust promises. If I get something that was spoken of good for me.
3 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (90232)
• Canada
8 Oct
I agree. expectations only lead to disappointment and relationship problems. You are in charge of your own happiness and people are who they are. They aren't going to change because you expect them to.
2 people like this
8 Oct
Exactly and you can't control anyone but you.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (90232)
• Canada
8 Oct
@Deegoddess very true
2 people like this
@Nakitakona (14869)
9 Oct
That's true if you expect something from someone you will only be disappointed. It's you who make your own happiness.
2 people like this
@Starmaiden (7950)
• Canada
8 Oct
I agree wholeheartedly. We are responsible for our own happiness whether in a relationship or not.
2 people like this
@tech40 (21111)
• Philippines
8 Oct
It's so hard to expect, and because of it I learned not to expect anything
2 people like this
• United States
8 Oct
I am careful about how much stock I do put in expectations concerning relationships with people as I cannot tolerate laziness; however I am NOT here to change the world, just some of the people in it so we can all just get along as it should be
1 person likes this
8 Oct
I get what you're saying, you want a guy who'll step up. If a man is seeming lazy, then to me I'd see at as he's dating other women as well or isn't that interested. An interested man will pursue you. That's why it's always best to keep your options open.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Oct
@Deegoddess an interested man can still lie about things especially if he is still married (but not wearing a ring), cheating not with just one but several others, and of course pretends to be caring but all along has an ulterior motive with a clandestine agenda. Let me tell ya how being single has its benefits . . .
9 Oct
@enlightenedpsych2 what you focus on expands. Focus on negative and you'll see negative all around. I don't see men as cheaters, and I see them as men who haven't found the right woman who knows how to build emotional connection with them so they won't look outside of the relationship. If someone keeps attracting married men, then that's a sign from the universe you're emotionally unavailable and need to heal with inner work. Not all men are married or cheaters. When I focused on negative in my relationship, the relationship was draining, when I focused on positive it grew. If you focus on negative or fear, you can't attract or build a healthy relationship with any man, when you focus on love and trust, then you can attract a healthy man. Don't let your fears prevent you from experiencing love.
1 person likes this
@Ladanger (12024)
• United States
8 Oct
I have high standards and definitely get disappointed
1 person likes this
8 Oct
You get disappointed because you have high standards and hard boundaries. Who can live up to that? Any man you date will feel like making you happy is a chore.
2 people like this
@Ladanger (12024)
• United States
8 Oct
@Deegoddess that's why i rather be single.
1 person likes this
8 Oct
@Ladanger why not just work on learning how to drop your expectations and allow love to flow in naturally and the easy way?
2 people like this
@Starkinds (17471)
• India
8 Oct
I have a very hard relationship and I'm going through a tough time.
1 person likes this
8 Oct
I can help. If you want, send me a message briefly telling me the issues.
2 people like this
@Starkinds (17471)
• India
8 Oct
2 people like this
@Maria24 (2707)
• United States
8 Oct
I think this is my problem I expect
1 person likes this
8 Oct
What do you think you could do differently now to stop expecting things from another person? Glad you recognize it. That's the first step.
2 people like this
@Rashnag (4709)
• Thane, India
9 Oct
True indeed. It's not easy for all people to stop having expectations. One can always try though
1 person likes this
@innertalks (5972)
• Australia
9 Oct
Expectations are important in other areas of life though. If I have a lodger living in my house, and they do not meet my requirements, they will pretty quickly find themselves not a lodger again. There are certain expectations that need to be met here, and they must be clearly stated to the person too. Are expectations good or bad, in a relationship with someone else, though? Love has its own expectations, or more levels of itself, that it will not depart from in order for it to remain still real love. Love cannot drop its standards, and still remain love. All of us similarly need to set levels of such expected behaviour too, as that is an issue of setting boundaries. To not set any expectations leads to you not being disappointed on one level, but you are surely disappointed still on another. It is not an ideal match if expectations are not minimally at least being met, or being tried to be met, by each party in that relationship.
9 Oct
Expectations and standards prevent love from entering into one's life. How can anyone live up to that? I've learned to just go with the flow of life, to stop expecting, have faith and let everything unfold naturally. Much easier and peaceful.
1 person likes this
• Australia
9 Oct
@Deegoddess Well, we could call God the ultimate lover, and I think that God has certain expectations of us. We are expected to develop and to live from our own special God-given talents, not to waste, squander, or just to bury them. Also, God wants us to follow his commandment to love him and others with our whole self, and person as fully as we can do so. How can anyone live up to God's standards and expectations of us? Going with the flow, and unfolding naturally does it every time. And so to me, these things can work hand in hand, we can have certain expectations and standards, but not compel or expect others to follow them. We hold them for ourselves, but flow with everything else, at the same time. Should we always go with the flow, of life or with the flow of love, or is there a difference between these two flows, and sometimes the flow of love or directive guidance of love is different from the pushing flow of life itself, which is perhaps testing our own individualised flow of love? Yes, to me, there are two main flows, negative and positive, and the way of the world is negative, when you do not love, but when you follow love's flow first, the other outer world flows for you fully, properly correctly, positively, for you then too. When I speak of love here though, I am speaking of spiritual love, not romantic love.
@maximax8 (30066)
• United Kingdom
11 Oct
I met a man on a vegan walk. He lived a long distance away from me like 6 hours on a very fast train. We fell deeply in love and met up once every fortnight. We felt like we were soulmates. Our relationship lasted around 8 months. One month after that I went into another relationship.on the rebound. I agree that dropping expectations would be the most sensible choice.