The Intent Was Good But I felt Bullied
By YoghurtGal
@flapiz (22403)
United Kingdom
October 16, 2019 11:17am CST
As my OSCE training is drawing near, I am building up my confidence and skills. I have mastered my spiel and how to act it out since it is a demonstration exam.
One of my colleague who is going to take it with me find wanted someone to teach her things and so she asked a senior colleague a favour to oversee both of us.
At first I was thrilled, as it is a good way to practice more, but to my horror, the senior staff turned out to be a discouraging teacher. She tells us negative things like “you’re going to fail”, “there’s not much time”, and nitpicks on almost everything we do.
I find myself developing anxiety over this. I couldn’t sleep well thinking of the horror of another session with her. What was once an easy procedure for me became really hard and my steady hands became always shaky.
So I have decided to not train under her. As I know days before the exam I don’t need to be demoralised but instead encourage. One thing I learned from this experience is not all smart people are born to be teachers.
Have you had a similar experience?
11 people like this
12 responses
@Janet357 (75656)
•
16 Oct 19
i think the senior staff was challenging you. she said that to challenge you more. she knew you did well but she wanted you to do more than that. she wanted the best. she had high expectations from you.
i dont remember anymore. but i encountered people who criticized some because they wanted them to do better and not be content with their present achievement.
3 people like this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
17 Oct 19
I tried to look at it like that. But then I also feel like she’s a bit too unflexible and is trying to make me be like her. I mean the thing with nursing is you add your personal touch on it as long as you follow the principles. She is even correcting my vocabulary and want me to use unfamiliar words to me. It may be beneficial for some people specially if they had no idea of what to say but to someone who has practiced several times her spiel it’s really more like disrupting my process.
@JustBhem (70555)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Oct 19
Yes, I encounter this from my Team Leader before. Instead of encouraging me to work on my stats, she puts me down, that I will not make it to the final month, and that I will not going to have my incentives and all that. It’s like she’s taking it personally on me.
But girl, stand still and I know you can make it.
Just trust only in yourself. The heck with her.
Just stay focus coz you know yourself well.
2 people like this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
17 Oct 19
Thank you Sol. Yeah I asked for a leave from work so I could study peacefully without her and calm my nerves.
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
17 Oct 19
I really don’t see why she had to behave like that. I admire her for being so smart and well collected but I was hoping she’d be more sensitive to our reactions to her teachings.
I am a newbie there is nothing for her to be jealous of.
@thelme55 (76476)
• Germany
16 Oct 19
Maybe that teacher who demoralized you by saying negative things just want to encourage you to do it better. That is her method of teaching. You have to show her that you are not scared of her and that you will not fail. The more she said that you will fail, the more you encourage yourself that you will not fail.
2 people like this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
17 Oct 19
Well I’m sure she had her reasons. Just probably that kind of learning style does not work on me. I try to avoid it instead and have someone else teach me.
But even then she doesn’t stop meddling and forcing me to study with her it almost feels like harassment so I asked for a leave of absence from work so I could train peacefully.
1 person likes this
@samysotelo18 (7744)
• Mexico
16 Oct 19
People like that have no idea how harmful their worlds are to a persons life
2 people like this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
17 Oct 19
@samysotelo18 Yep and with the law of attraction I feel even more distressed.
1 person likes this
@samysotelo18 (7744)
• Mexico
17 Oct 19
@flapiz Yeah like even if you had the knowledge those types of words make you feel discourage and distracted, how mean
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
17 Oct 19
maybe she's giving you a preview of how bad things can get? how did your colleague who is also going to take it react?
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
17 Oct 19
I tried to think of it that way but my shaking really won’t stop. I know she wants me to pass but I feel like if I continue with her I would fail instead as she is making me doubt myself.
My colleague handled it more maturely but she also didn’t like it. I guess I am mentally fragile already as I worry about the house moves, the test, and the break up.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
17 Oct 19
@hereandthere Last night was the first night in the apartment and we had only a bed and some plates. This is dinner yesterday. On the floor.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
17 Oct 19
@flapiz oh, so they found you an apartment already? which happens first - the test or the move?
1 person likes this
@psanasangma (5884)
• India
16 Oct 19
I am not sure how to comment on this. sometimes depending on their thought process seniors try to demoralize junior one but I think in this case its better to filter what is good for you.. I can imagine your situation. But we also need to believe that Practice makes you perfect always and working with courage and commitments will always helps you to overcome challenges
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
17 Oct 19
Exactly after that incident with her I lost motivation. Like a typical depressed person I lost appetite, I was sleepy, and didn’t want to do anything, I lost sleep too.
So I had to slap myself back together and decided she’s not good for my well being. Thus I avoided her. We can practice in a respectful environment. I don’t think demoralising people is effective.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
17 Oct 19
@psanasangma Sometimes I do question if I am being too weak. As my other colleague is taking all the insults and continuing training with her.
1 person likes this
@psanasangma (5884)
• India
17 Oct 19
@flapiz, agree with you.. in this situation always try to surround yourself who motivate and inspire you because working under such person is tough life and un predictable.. Take everything as a stepping stone and don't give up
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
19 Oct 19
No person should have to be subjected to such negative behavior from someone who should be an encouraging leader. But not everyone is born to be a leader, even if they have such a title. I also think that every experience we have, every encounter we face, and every person we interact with--whether positive or negative--can be a learning experience for us. I have faith in your abilities, I know you have what it takes to succeed, and I would trust you with my life if it came down to it. You got this girl! I know you will do just fine!
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
20 Oct 19
@moffittjc Just my nerves mainly. Trying to keep my mind at bay.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
19 Oct 19
@flapiz You are going to do great on the exam. With God on your side, who can be against you?
1 person likes this
@birjudanak (14319)
• India
17 Oct 19
That is a crazy thing as she discouraging instead of encouraging and it happened with many people for sure but thank god not happened with me in work or study but in other fields yes so i just hear from one ear and remove from another then do what i want as we also know which is good and not. You are talented and mature enough so you took the right decision.
1 person likes this
@Ladanger (14582)
• United States
16 Oct 19
That is the main reason why i have anxiety. They always say to suck it up and this and that but it affects your mental health. Anything that is costing you your mental health isn't worth it. That is why people in the army come back all crazy because all the yelling and negativity.
A friend of mines told me that himself. He is in the army. He told me that if i have anxiety they will make me do 100 push ups. I understand if the teacher is trying to motivate you but not all are meant to be one.
1 person likes this
@DianeBorg (784)
• Malta
28 Oct 19
I think she was trying to discourage you, you did well not to train under her and infact you were right.
1 person likes this
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