Choosing to Live After Loss

@CarolDM (203396)

Nashville, Tennessee

October 27, 2019 12:42pm CST

After a quick conversation with a friend, I thought about the times after losing Dustin. My only child. My world literally turned upside down. What would I do. How would I live without him. Many questions to answer in my mind. I was the only one who held those answers. I felt myself sinking many, many times. I wanted to sink. Why not after all. Dustin's face kept coming to my mind. He wanted me to be happy. Keep living. He would always be with my in my heart. Took years to believe that life was better than not living. So here I am. I chose life. Dustin with one of his kittens in the photo.

29 people like this

25 responses

@LindaOHio (222285)

• United States

27 Oct 19

That's a beautiful photo. I, for one, am grateful that you chose to live. You've brightened my life!

4 people like this

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@LindaOHio (222285)

• United States

27 Oct 19

Dustin would want you to be happy.

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

@LindaOHio Thanks, that keeps me going.

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

Thank you, I am fortunate to have many photos. You are so kind, I feel the same about you.

2 people like this

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@kobesbuddy (78833)

• East Tawas, Michigan

27 Oct 19

And 'Carol' choosing to live life to its fullest, keeps 'Dustin' alive and well, within your heart! Dustin wants above all else, for his mom to be happy. You will always be a team, 'Mother and Son,' for all eternity

What a precious photo

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

Thank you for saying his name. A sweet moment in the photo.

2 people like this

@kobesbuddy (78833)

• East Tawas, Michigan

27 Oct 19

@CarolDM And Dustin breathes a deep sigh of relief! He never wants his mother to give up, being happy

3 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

@kobesbuddy You are so right, thanks for the support.

2 people like this

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@amadeo (111937)

• United States

27 Oct 19

Good afternoon.Your only child whatever happen to him?

2 people like this

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Anne Marie Guyer

@LeaPea2417 (40026)

• Toccoa, Georgia

29 Oct 19

@CarolDM Very sorry

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

29 Oct 19

@LeaPea2417 Thank you

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

28 Oct 19

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@Hannihar (130150)

• Israel

27 Oct 19

@CarolDM I cannot imagine how you must feel. I had a miscarriage 7 1/2 to 10 weeks into my pregnancy and lost two animals and my grandfather and some friends. After my miscarriage I never got pregnant so never had human children. That is very hard to deal with. He looks very sweet in the picture.

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

So sorry about your losses. Most have had some type of loss. Thank you, I remember this moment like it was yesterday. He was my only child.

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

@Hannihar I can relate.

2 people like this

@Hannihar (130150)

• Israel

28 Oct 19

@CarolDM Thanks and thank you also for your kindness on my losses.

2 people like this

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@nela13 (59367)

• Portugal

27 Oct 19

I admire you a lot, you are very wise and strong. I cannot imagine how deep is your pain but I believe you choose well and Dustin are surely happy with your choice.

2 people like this

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@nela13 (59367)

• Portugal

28 Oct 19

@CarolDM Ohh sweety, I hope you are better today, it is understandable that you cry sometimes.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

28 Oct 19

@nela13 Every day is a new day. Thank you.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

Thank you. One of those tear filled days. But it happens. This too shall pass as they say.

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Nevena Zivkovic

@Nevena83 (66063)

• Serbia

27 Oct 19

Beautiful photo. It has your eyes. I can't imagine how much your pain is, but I admire you, I admire your strength. I think I'd die.

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

Thank you, many have told me that. I wished to die many times but he helped keep me going.

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

@Nevena83 I cannot judge anyone, but sounds like she is keeping it all in, internalizes her pain.

2 people like this

Nevena Zivkovic

@Nevena83 (66063)

• Serbia

27 Oct 19

@CarolDM My aunt lost her daughter. They killed her in the workplace, she was 33 years old. And when my aunt would come here afterwards, I couldn't understand her behavior, she acted as if nothing had happened. But I believe only her heart knows what pain she is carrying.

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crazyhorseladycx

@crazyhorseladycx (39503)

• United States

27 Oct 19

the loss 'f a young'un 'tis perhaps the most cruelest 'f all, hon. so glad ya chose life. i know my mom'n dad struggled fer many years 'fter my brother passed.

2 people like this

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crazyhorseladycx

@crazyhorseladycx (39503)

• United States

28 Oct 19

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@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

I agree, if it gets any worse I don't want to know about it. So unfair. You never ever get over it.

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@xFiacre (14795)

• Ireland

27 Oct 19

@caroldm A devastating agony that I can’t imagine, but from your posts I see you as someone who lives her life.

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

Thank you, I try to keep going. Pushing most of time but I am here!

1 person likes this

@akalinus (44366)

• United States

27 Oct 19

Yes, we have to keep living. After my daughter's memorial service, I had to go home and make dinner for the other kids. That was for the best, a reminder that the rest of us are not done.

2 people like this

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@akalinus (44366)

• United States

28 Oct 19

@CarolDM I was a complete basket case for years but had to keep moving anyway.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

I have often felt done. No others to cook for. But I keep moving ahead.

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

28 Oct 19

@akalinus Yes that is what we do to survive.

1 person likes this

@DianneN (254949)

• United States

28 Oct 19

What a beautiful photo of Dustin. I can only imagine your pain, but deep in my heart, I’m positive that Dustin would have wanted you to live and keep going.

2 people like this

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@DianneN (254949)

• United States

28 Oct 19

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

28 Oct 19

Thanks for saying his name. I agree.

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@Happy2BeMe (99353)

• Canada

27 Oct 19

Dustin would be so proud of you for being so strong. He lives on in your heart and memories and nobody can take those away from you. What a sweet picture of a precious little boy. Thanks for sharing this with us. I truly am sorry for what you have gone through and what you continue to go through but I am so happy you chose life. You have brightened many days here on myLot. We are blessed to have you here.

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

Thank you, it is hard to feel strong on most days. But I try to help others who are going through the same nightmare, and that helps as well. He will always be with me. Your kind words and support mean a lot.

2 people like this

@dya80dya (36805)

•

27 Oct 19

You are a strong woman. It's the worst thing to lose a child. But why did he die? Did he have a disease? I hope my question will not upset you.

2 people like this

@Janet357 (75638)

•

28 Oct 19

:((( It makes me sad when I read stories like this-losing your only child. I am not a mom but I lost my dog. I had mourned for two years. and even now it saddens me. How much more a mother losing her only child? In what year did you lose him.Miss Carol?

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

28 Oct 19

Yes he was my world, 2002. You never get over the pain. Ever.

@freelancermariagrace (29342)

• Philippines

28 Oct 19

That’s a beautiful photo.. I am happy that you chose life. hugsss

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

28 Oct 19

Thank you.

1 person likes this

@allknowing (153544)

• India

28 Oct 19

Time diffuses situations and we should be grateful for that.

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@allknowing (153544)

• India

29 Oct 19

@CarolDM You have not understood me. No matter what the loss time helps us to move on.to a great extent And you have. I enjoy reading your posts at Virily.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

28 Oct 19

Have you lost a child?

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@TiarasOceanView (70020)

• United States

28 Oct 19

My goodness he was a truly beautiful child Carol was Dustin, RIP

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@TiarasOceanView (70020)

• United States

28 Oct 19

@CarolDM Welcome xo

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@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

28 Oct 19

Thank you very much.

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Vicki, #1 Creek Girl

@1creekgirl (44560)

• United States

28 Oct 19

Carol, I'm so thankful you choose every day to live. You are a blessing to me and so many myLotters. Dustin is so precious in that photo...I know you love it, but it's also heartbreaking.

I'd love to hear more about him, I'm sure you have lots of stories about that sweet young man.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

28 Oct 19

Thank you for your support and encouragement. It means a lot. I have to share sometimes. Yes it is often hard to look at, that is how bad it hurts. I will talk more, and thank you for being interested.

1 person likes this

@DesirousDreamer (34776)

• Peoria, Arizona

27 Oct 19

I can only imagine what it was like. We all grieve in different ways, at different lengths, and it is crazy how we struggle for such a long time and then one day clarity. Of course, the feeling never goes away but we are very happy you are here to share your life whether it be anguish or happiness. Keep on keeping on

2 people like this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

I will forever grieve. No time limits. Thank you for your kind words.

1 person likes this

@porwest (112802)

• United States

28 Oct 19

Glad that you were able to move on for the most part. I cannot imagine losing someone so dear, especially considering the circumstances. Sorry that you had to experience that and live it.

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@porwest (112802)

• United States

28 Oct 19

@CarolDM That is all you can do. Life must go on.

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

28 Oct 19

Thanks Jim. Pushing through is what I do.

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@evans777 (1540)

•

27 Oct 19

Your son?

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203396)

• Nashville, Tennessee

27 Oct 19

Yes, my only child.

@evans777 (1540)

•

27 Oct 19

@CarolDM it's really sad but nothing can be done. Moving on is a must

1 person likes this