The UPS Freight Guy

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Thursday I was the one who had to stick around at the office and wait around for the UPS freight driver to pick up our stuff. He was running late. Finally around 5:15 (we close at 5) he showed up. Instead of opening the overhead door, opening his truck, and popping up the dock plate, he went to take care of his paperwork. So, I went ahead and did those three things and started loading him up. "Do you mind if I borrow your bathroom," he asked. "Sure," I said. "There's a cup on the right hand side of the sink to put $25 into." "I was thinking $50," said the UPS freight driver. "Even better," I said and chuckled. "Last door on the right." I finished loading the truck with the freight, and the UPS driver was still in the bathroom. It was now going on 5:30. I went back into my office and finished up a couple of things. I did not hear the door to the bathroom open and close. It's rather loud when it springs itself shut. But I heard nothing. The clock was ticking away. That's when it dawned on me... "The m'effer is taking a DUMP!" I mean, I get it. When you gotta go you gotta go. But I just wanted to get home and pop a cold one. I finally was able to leave a little before 6.