Is "Thank you for coming." the same as "Thank you for helping." ??
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
Perth, Australia
January 18, 2020 12:21pm CST
Not too long ago I did a post asking you all if you knew any Baby Gender Reveal party games because my friend asked me if I could find some for her party. Thank you for those who answered that post. I ended up looking around online for about an hour and typed games out for my friend. She looked at my messages but didn't say "Thank you." Instead, she sent me photos of her ultra-sounds. So I tried not to think much about it as she is pregnant and excited.
I went to her house along with her mum who is also my friend, to stay the night. It made it easier on me as they don't live close but I also stayed to help her set things up. My friend asked me if I could help to which I said "Of course!"
Anyway, the next day I chopped up all the fruit for a fruit salad and punch, I dragged and carried things from the backyard around the side of the house to tidy it all up, I swept outside, cleaned the leaves out of the pool, blew up all the balloons, helped decorate and washed the dishes as the guests were arriving.
I was very happy for my friend and her boyfriend. We all had to wear something blue or pink as a way to say what gender we believe the baby was. I wore my blue jacket and got my nails done blue thinking it was a boy. My friend's sister was the only one who knew so she made a cake ( the photo you see ) and once you cut the cake, it shows what the gender is with all the pink chocolates inside. So it's a girl. 
Anyway, when it was time for me to leave, my friend hugged me and thanked me for coming. And I was thinking if "Thank you for coming" is the same as thanking me for everything I did? Don't get me wrong! I don't expect anything in return but I feel after all I did, she could have said more than "Thank you for coming."
I don't know. Maybe I am too sensitive. What do you think? She is a lovely person but I also learned some not so great things while staying there. She took her mother and I shopping for party supplies. And I was shocked to hear her say to her mum "I only have $40 to pay for all this, you can cover the rest." Not "Can you please help me pay for this?" No it was a demand. I found it shocking and rude. Came to about $100 too.
****photo is mine****
Anyway, when it was time for me to leave, my friend hugged me and thanked me for coming. And I was thinking if "Thank you for coming" is the same as thanking me for everything I did? Don't get me wrong! I don't expect anything in return but I feel after all I did, she could have said more than "Thank you for coming."
I don't know. Maybe I am too sensitive. What do you think? She is a lovely person but I also learned some not so great things while staying there. She took her mother and I shopping for party supplies. And I was shocked to hear her say to her mum "I only have $40 to pay for all this, you can cover the rest." Not "Can you please help me pay for this?" No it was a demand. I found it shocking and rude. Came to about $100 too.
****photo is mine****7 people like this
7 responses
@happylife1 (13403)
• Karachi, Pakistan
18 Jan 20
Daughter should behave.... In good manners
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
18 Jan 20
@happylife1 I agree with you! She should have treated her mum better.
1 person likes this
@ptrikha_2 (49775)
• India
18 Jan 20
@happylife1
We respect our elders here a lot. Even though we have jealous relatives, but we still bow to them for blessings.
1 person likes this
@ptrikha_2 (49775)
• India
18 Jan 20
@VivaLaDani13
Yes I agree. And as a parent, I tell my kids to be careful but respectful as well.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (91297)
• United States
18 Jan 20
Shocking behaviour. She ought to be ashamed of herself.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Jan 20
@RebeccasFarm I agree with you! I feel bad for her mum because she only just recently gave her $400 to help with rent. And yet the daughter still drains more money out of her in the most unappreciative way.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
26 Jan 20
It does sound like she has missed some important social graces. Her mom has allowed it, evidently. You are one terrific friend. I hope she knows it, even if she did not say it.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
26 Jan 20
@GardenGerty Thank you so much for understanding and for the kind words as I'm still trying to work it out. Like she is still kinda new to me. Known her for over a year but haven't been around her that much. So I don't know. But as far as how she treated her own mother, well that was definitely not polite in my books.
@moffittjc (128840)
• Gainesville, Florida
20 Jan 20
Is your friend spoiled? An only child? Lacking in manners? Or all of the above? Somebody needs to have a talk with her about etiquette and manners. This is certainly not normal, or acceptable behavior. Thankfully, you at least got a "thanks for coming" out of her. I'm surprised you even got that much, to be honest. Either she is completely aloof right now because of her pregnancy, or she is very self-centered.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
24 Jan 20
@moffittjc She has a brother and a sister. And not about spoiled though. Lacking in manners? Possibly! I'm really not sure. It's why I am kinda giving her a chance. I'm just going to copy and paste something here so I don't type it again.
I am also a little bit annoyed that her mum ( please know I like them all ) but her mum rang me asking me to come down and help set up her birthday party ( the daughter's birthday party ). I have been asked a lot by her ( the mum ) and to ask me for help now with everything going on with my dad, I just found that a little bit insensitive. Not too much I would have to travel over an hour to get there and to once again not be a guest. To be a helper.
I hope that made sense. I feel like it didn't.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (128840)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Jan 20
@VivaLaDani13 It all makes perfect sense!
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
20 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13
It sounds like you did all the work. So it is going to be a girl. It does not sound like thanking you for all you did. That is not nice. Does she usually thank you or not? I think she is very wrong because you did so much work and she should have thanked you. When you spend time with someone you do get to see what they are like. She does not sound like a nice person to me. She sounds like she uses people and how she treated you and her mother was horrible.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
21 Feb 20
@Hannihar I did a majority of it for sure. And yeah going to be a girl. So exciting.
I recently lent her $100 and she did thank me so I guess she can have nice manners. I still haven't spent all that much time with her so still getting to know her.
I recently lent her $100 and she did thank me so I guess she can have nice manners. I still haven't spent all that much time with her so still getting to know her.1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
22 Feb 20
@Hannihar It was only recently I lent her the money. I do hope she pays me back though!
She has been a great help to me. Something bad happened last year in January and she and her mum helped me out a lot over the phone. So she has been so kind in that regards. But I still hope I can get my money back when she is able to pay me back.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
21 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13
Did she pay you back or do you think she will? I will be very careful in getting to know her because I do not know her, but, from what you wrote I am not sure about her. Like you said you are still getting to know her so you can judge if she is a good person or not.
1 person likes this
@florelway (23339)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
23 Feb 20
It's more appropriate to tell you thank you for all the help than merely thank you for coming. She can tell thank you for coming for all those she invited but did not actually contribute at all.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
23 Feb 20
@florelway I do agree with you. That's how I felt. Thank you so much for reading and understanding where I was coming from about this.
1 person likes this
@florelway (23339)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
23 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13 of course looks like she underestimated your help.
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (24051)
• United Kingdom
19 Jan 20
I think she was thanking you for coming over to help her with all the things while you were there rather than just coming for her party. You really were a very good friend. My daughter is just like you she goes out of her way to help others but some people tend to take advantage. You know you learn this sort of thing when people tend to use you but there will come a time when you will think enough is enough and you will start to say NO to some requests. It will shock you as much as it shocked me when I first did it. Now if it is convenient I will help people.
I think your friend is quite rude in expecting her mother just to cough up like that how rude but this is a lesson in life. I am sure she was grateful for your help!
Blimey you must have been tired out but at least you have got the satisfaction that you helped her BIG TIME. Well done!
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
24 Jan 20
@garymarsh6 Thank you very much for reading and for giving me your opinion. I am still giving her a chance because as much I am calling her my friend, it's actually her brother I'm more closer too. So I am still learning about her. So maybe her way of thanking me was to say what she said, I'm really not certain. I guess time will tell because I will be seeing her more. And thank you for your kind words! Your daughter sounds lovely!
I am happy to have helped her. I love helping people. But I do admit that as of late, her mum has been asking quite a lot of me and I was a bit annoyed that she recently asked me to come help set up her daughter's birthday party. Even though the mum knows I am stress and exhausted from what is going on with my dad, she still wants me to come help instead of just enjoying the party. And it would take me over an hour to travel to their house. So I feel like sometimes the mum doesn't think about my feelings. She will text me or call me at odd times too. Waking me up. Also asking me to remind her of when to take her insulin ( or some type of needles ). I feel as if, as well as being her friend but as if I am a nurse, a diary, an assistant, a helper, a psychologist. I like her but she is draining me out.
