Found my ex-GF in social media...
@simplfred (20641)
Philippines
February 10, 2020 6:33pm CST
After two decades. I've found my ex-GF in Facebook. I've added her as a friend and she accepted. I wanted to chat her but I've hesitated. We don't have a closure then, our communication just stop... We both have family now... Do you think it is still good if I will chat her as a friend now?
17 people like this
18 responses
@Alexandoy (65302)
• Cainta, Philippines
11 Feb 20
What a coincidence. An ex sent me a message a few days ago. Just touching base. I did not accept the message after reading so she does not know if I had read it.
2 people like this
@Alexandoy (65302)
• Cainta, Philippines
11 Feb 20
@simplfred you are right, she is not my friend and the profile she used belongs to another person.
2 people like this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
I see, maybe she is not your friend in FB that's why she won't notice if you read it or not.
2 people like this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
@Alexandoy I see... I wonder what will be her intention to connect with you... Maybe she remember something about V-day...
2 people like this
@rsa101 (40976)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
I think 2 decades is long enough for the two of your to get closure right now. You must have closed it yourselves since you already are into your own families already so there is no need to get a closure in it anymore. Anyway it can start in some bad/good way and may affect your family in the end if they know about it.
2 people like this
@rsa101 (40976)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
@simplfred For me connecting with her is fine for as long as there are not more than that already. Seeing her in her current profile is good as knowing what is the status of her life already. I think that is what is important in here and there is no need for reconnecting anymore on her.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
Yeah, I think I rather not connect with her especially chatting... I will just great her during special occasions except for V-day... Ha ha...
2 people like this
@eileenleyva (27555)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
NO. Delete.
She will be a temptation. Tell her kindly that you only want a closure. Then CLOSE.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
I've never chatted her yet and I think she won't chat also so I think that's the end of it... I won't do another move and just move on and accept things as they are...
1 person likes this
@eileenleyva (27555)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
@simplfred But you will take a peek into her life. She will also, into yours. You are opening your self into temptation. Delete.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
12 Feb 20
@eileenleyva I agree with you about peeking but surely I know my limitations...
1 person likes this
@DesirousDreamer (34776)
• Peoria, Arizona
11 Feb 20
It is okay if you want to just chat, see how she is doing and perhaps get that closure, but don't do this without your spouse knowing at least. I think it is great when exes can be friends, but if the spouse is uncomfortable with it then that is also totally understandable.
2 people like this
@DesirousDreamer (34776)
• Peoria, Arizona
17 Feb 20
@simplfred Totally understandable. It is always good to think of what the other will think about the situation. Communication is key.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
Definitely she won't understand it... I think it is best if I won't chat with her...
1 person likes this
@db20747 (43419)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
12 Feb 20
@simplfred but not Valentine's day! LOL
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@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
12 Feb 20
Thanks, my friend. I think I will do that during special holidays like Christmas or her Birthday.
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (59987)
• Philippines
12 Feb 20
Well it's up to you.
For me an ex remains an ex. Everything has gone. Let bygone be bygone.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
12 Feb 20
Yeah, and I'm okay seeing her happy with her family right now...
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@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
12 Feb 20
@Nakitakona We've lost communication when she work then in Japan...
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@Nakitakona (59987)
• Philippines
12 Feb 20
@simplfred Well that's fine. Why did you break up?
1 person likes this
@divalounger (6182)
• United States
11 Feb 20
Sometimes a spouse is uncomfortable with an ex hanging around in their spouse's life. I would make sure it is ok with your spouse
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
12 Feb 20
Most of them... Ha ha... My wife is one of the most uncomfortable person even just mentioning a name of an ex.
@RebeccasFarm (91297)
• United States
12 Feb 20
Yes it is fine. Glad you found her.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
13 Feb 20
Yeah been looking for her social media for a long while because she is the only Ex that I don't have a connection. Thanks for sharing your advice. I think it is fine as long as just that...
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10782)
• Canada
11 Feb 20
Would your wife approve? It is okay to chat with here if you are open about it with your wife.
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@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
She won't definitely... She's a jealous type...
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
12 Feb 20
@simplfred There is no harm chatting with her UNLESS chatting with her brings back bad memories or if you both seem hostile with each other. If your conversations run smoothly and you're both civil then I see no harm. But if things starts to go nasty then maybe best to put that friendship to rest.
I wish you all the best.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
12 Feb 20
That's a very nice advice or thought, my friend... I appreciate it... Thanks...
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
12 Feb 20
@simplfred No worries at all Frederick. 
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (79324)
• Germany
11 Feb 20
@simplfred so be careful not to have a fight with your wife. It is not worth it.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
@thelme55 I agree with you, my friend.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
She is a jealous type of person... Ha ha...
1 person likes this
@amitkokiladitya (171988)
• Agra, India
11 Feb 20
No....i would not approve this
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
Thanks my friend for sharing your thoughts... I think you are right...
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
13 Feb 20
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about it, my friend... I agree...
1 person likes this
@isweartokira (3459)
• United States
12 Feb 20
I don't think there's any harm in chatting for closure. you've both matured and you both know that each of you have moved on. she was still a part of your life and if you need that closure I don't see a problem with it if you keep it friendly.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
12 Feb 20
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, my friend. I think so too... but I think, I'm good right now just seeing her happy with her family... With that alone the closure is done... And I am happy too with mine...
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (208906)
• United States
11 Feb 20
Maybe just wish he Happy Birthday etc. It might cause some jealousy with your wife.
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@rakski (156475)
• Philippines
11 Feb 20
if you will not chat with her, then you should not added her in the first place.
Though there was no closure between you, I do not think it is still an important matter that should affect you now because as you said, you both have your own family now. So why is there still a need for closure?
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@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
11 Feb 20
Your judgement. Personally, me? If I am married I wouldnt.
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