Spooky Feelings and Whispers

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It has finally happened with all my hard work, my anxiety, my every day strive to work and work I have started feeling like I never thought I would feel. Logically, when I left Latvia and the European continent it was with the thought I would never return. However, now looking at old photos and remembering the places and faces it is like a ghostly something is whispering to me, Come back, come back”. Except for my stepdaughter and her family, I have no idea why I should be experiencing this now. The U.S. is where I was born and raised. My choice to stay in Latvia was due to meeting my soul mate. For some reason would he want me to return? What would I do there? These feelings are so overwhelming that I am not sure how I’m going to contain them now that they have flooded out. I mean I never thought of Riga. Latvia as my true home but now I cannot even describe what I am going through. It really spooks me it does. Every time I thought about the US and the times Martin and I came to visit in 1998 and 1999 the song running through my head was my Chris de Burgh “I’m Going Home”. It also played through my head as I was returning and of course, those lines from “The City of New Orleans” – “good morning America how are you”. Now for some reason, I am being pushed the other way. It makes no sense whatsoever because I didn’t leave Martin behind he came with me and he is everywhere now. In the photo is the street on which we used to live