I was getting better
By Felicia Kane
June 30, 2020 3:46pm CST
There has just been so much heartbreak in my life. Some personal, some that is effecting me personally but it doesn't have to do with me. I had a good weekend, I played the sims, I smiled, I sang, I was having a good time. Yesterday also started off good, I was writing and I felt so much love for my work. Then I came across something that is something to do with my personal life and totally shot my mood. My inspiration became faded and I struggled to hold a pen. So I took the evening off and watch anime. I woke up feeling better, I was ready to work on my graphic novel today, do some blog posts, just get it together and work. Then some news came out about some drama happening in communities I enjoy and it is really messing me up. I don't know what to think, what to do. It is hard to see people you enjoy, people that had inspired everything you have ever worked for that they were actually monsters all along. So, I am heartbroken.. I wish I could just be crying over my own problems. It would be a lot better if I was just dealing with my own drama and run to the people who I loved so much and went to when I was upset, but I can't do that and it is just putting me in this endless loop of where can I even go? I am going to try to do some drawing today, because if there is not a singer I can run to, a youtuber, a streamer, I can always run to my creations. I am going to try to not let all this emotion affect what I love most. I just need to keep going and find inspiration else where and hope that doesn't crumble apart either.
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I have been down for almost 2 weeks, then stumbled upon a paragraph in a blog and it lifted my mood and made me happy and hope for great things to come. You are so right that these influencers surely affect my mood. You are an awesome person and I hope you get past those things that hurt you.
As of this moment, a good man with 3 kids, a doctor who up to 5 days ago was working to help old people with corona virus, is fighting desperately for his life. I ask you to put away your problems for a second and send positive vibes (or a prayer or a meditation) to him. His wife is also infected although she is hanging on and they have a 9 year old girl.