I Don't Have the Peer-Group I Need.
@mythociate (21437)
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
January 29, 2021 7:20pm CST
When I was in high-school, my peer-group was (of course) other students in my main subjects (mainly music (Strings & Percussion & Music Theory & Literature & Math)).
After high-school & starting-/dropping out of-college, I became less-&-less a part of that peer-group--they were mostly 'students with wage-paying jobs,' and I'm 'a former student living off my legal-guardian (supplemented by an insurance-settlement she won me).'
Oh, I have plenty of 'associates' (Facebook-etc. calls them "friends," but ... 
); but ... I'm not "part of a group" who live the way I do.
Well ... maybe some members of my brain-injury-survivor support-group 'live like I do' (doing "intelligent" things (reading news & books and watching TV & movies), but I don't 'hang out with them' frequently enough.
); but ... I'm not "part of a group" who live the way I do.
Well ... maybe some members of my brain-injury-survivor support-group 'live like I do' (doing "intelligent" things (reading news & books and watching TV & movies), but I don't 'hang out with them' frequently enough.5 people like this
6 responses
@kaylachan (58906)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
30 Jan 21
It's okay. We all grow and change. That's just part of life and growing up.
2 people like this
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
30 Jan 21
It absolutely is but after a tbi you can almost be a whole new person and it can be difficult to fit in anywhere.
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
30 Jan 21
@JimBo452020 It used to be my work as I mention in a response below/above
I saw time after time the massive stress a brain injury places on the family as well as the injured person
I saw time after time the massive stress a brain injury places on the family as well as the injured person1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
4 Feb 21
Since I was young ... I don't know, I guess it gives me 'the power of life' ...
When I was just past infancy, my parents would read books to me. And I saw the books as 'giving them the power to tell the story' because they could read the words.
That may be how I saw 'musical instruments' (including the voice ... how I saw it 'in the back of my mind,' anyway): understanding the instrument, you & it tell a story.
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
5 Feb 21
@TheHorse violin/fiddle, percussion (drums, xylophone, MORE COWBELL), vocals, basic piano
@RasmaSandra (74114)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
30 Jan 21
When I went to high school I had a tight group of friends and we always spent time together. Then time moved on and everyone drifted apart. Now I still have s handful of close friends but they are far away and the one friend from that group back in those days lives in the apartment below me. That is about it otherwise I am totally alone and on my own,
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
30 Jan 21
I think of 'The Big Kahuna' from Gidget
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (74114)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
5 Feb 21
@mythociate I loved the show and have all the DVDs
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
30 Jan 21
I don't know who they are (which I thought was indicated by all the 'watermarks' and 'big company logo' etc.)
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (207500)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jan 21
@mythociate I was just "messin'" with you. I could tell it was one of those "generic" photos.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (207500)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Jan 21
I have the same issue, though perhaps in lesser degree. In high school, I hung out with the kids "on my block." In college, I hung out with those who had similar interests. In graduate school, I was part of a "lab" that gave me a sense of community and meaning. But since them, a part of me has always felt at bit "at sea."
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
4 Feb 21
Like 'The Big Kahuna' from Gidget.
This film, based on a text from Professor Andrea Diem-Lane, focuses on the Big Kahuna and his choice to live life free and easy (essentially as a surf bum) a...
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
30 Jan 21
Some years ago I worked at a residential place for TBI survivors.
It was a sort of half way house between inpatient rehab and independent living.
People would stay anywhere between a few months and a few years...some moved on to their own places, some moved on to their own places with support and others to another more permanent home within our company.
They all had one thing in common which was a TBI but they were very different people apart from that one shared thing.
You could obviously look for groups for brain injury survivors or maybe think about your interests/hobbies outside of that and maybe find a new "peer group".
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
30 Jan 21
I mentioned the closest thing I have to a "peer group" above---a support-group that meets twice a month (which doesn't feel like it's often enough to count as the 'peer group' I'm looking-for).
I had to finish with this post before I could explain why ELSE that group's not a peer-group ... most of them were well-established adults before their injuries. I was not. Whereas they had all grown up and--tho they all had to 'grow up' again (relearn how to walk, talk, read, feed, etc.)--their lives were pretty much 'built for them' by then. I didn't get to grow up; many of the things I wanted (and still wish) to be--a husband, father, grandfather--I will probably not get to be, or rather 'not in the usual way' (like maybe 'if I marry a widowed grandmother' 
)
)