Clawing my way out
By AmberLynn
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
United States
February 8, 2021 12:30pm CST
You could say it was something like a premonition. A niggling at the back of my mind that told me today would not be so easy. My dreams last night were the catalyst for today.
I am trying though. I'm trying to push these pressing thoughts to the back of my mind where they belong. Trying to ignore the depression and anxiety that is so close to the surface. I hate this feeling.
I only write about it here because I know so many of us have dealt with this or are dealing with this.
I don't need or want your pity, nor do I require your suggestions about a doctor. Those words might seem terse, but I thought I should throw them out there anyway. Talking here, admitting how I am feeling is already helping, ya know?
How's Your Monday going for you?
I leave you with this song :
It comforts me.
"Our Remains" (Acoustic) is from our All Remains EP out now. Listen and Download: https://lnk.to/BR-AllRemainsWebsite: http://betaradio.com/Facebook: https:/...
6 people like this
10 responses
@MommyOfEli2013 (89678)
• Rupert, Idaho
8 Feb 21
I am glad that talking about it here does help some. Depression and anxiety truly suck...I wish we didn't have to go through things like that!
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
8 Feb 21
I wish we didn't either! I also wish there wasn't such a stigma about it.
1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89678)
• Rupert, Idaho
8 Feb 21
@ScribbledAdNauseum Yes, that is a good point as well
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
8 Feb 21
@MommyOfEli2013 One day maybe, one day we won't have the stigma.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59342)
• Sterling, Virginia
8 Feb 21
We all deal with depression and anxiety. Yes some people do need medical help then there is others of us that don’t we just go through the emotions of the day and ride it out.
I can say my husband had struggled for many years with anxiety ans depression before he finally had enough to talk to a doctor. He went many many years with our being diagnosed with being Biopolar which does affect someone’s depression and anxiety.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59342)
• Sterling, Virginia
8 Feb 21
@ScribbledAdNauseum my husband does meds check every 3 months. But he also worked mental health for 3 years and was like diagnosed about 4 years ago. His is bipolar 2 with anxiety disorder and depression. With him being bipolar and know all of the kids medical records state that they have genetic Bioplar with in the family. I’m very sure my 8 year old is bipolar he is just too young for us to do anything about it other then teaching him how to deal with it as best as we can.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
8 Feb 21
My early twenties were horrible and I went through several diagnoses of things. Bipolar, anxiety disorder etc. I don't have mania or low lows and high highs, so the bipolar diagnosis didn't fit me. I've learned to get through the depression and anxiety without medicine, but some days are worse than other.s
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
8 Feb 21
@ShyBear88 When I was diagnosed it was "Bipolar with depressed moods.' I think the bipolar type 2 is somewhat of a new term, but I have heard of it. Oh yes, my uncle has had some problems with his because he lost weight and the medicine doesn't work as well.
@Tina30219 (82978)
• Onaway, Michigan
8 Feb 21
Our Monday started out sucky the truck would not start but we got it going and went to town to get a few things and now we are on our way home and back in pajamas Inwill go. We all know about depression I am sure we all have been through it many times but that is what you have us here for we are one big happy family here in mylot world.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
8 Feb 21
You are right, we're one big happy, somewhat dysfunctional (sometimes) family. Pajamas sound really nice, I love lounging in them.
@Tina30219 (82978)
• Onaway, Michigan
8 Feb 21
@ScribbledAdNauseum I do also. If it was not for mylot when I went through my divorce I don’t know what I would have done I had everyone here to keep me sane
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
8 Feb 21
@Tina30219 Oh yes, Mylot was my refuge too! That was an especially hard time for me because my mom passed away around the same time.
@Janet357 (75638)
•
8 Feb 21
I wanna be honest with you. I have this thing too. I have been experiencing it since i was young. I hate dreaming of snakes bscause it means enemy. I hate dreaming of my failure to.cross the bridge because it means failure.
But just like what you said, I try to ignore them and never entertain them. Because in reality, a good one follows after a bad one. No, you don't need a doctor.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
8 Feb 21
Oh yes, dreams like you describe are always negative for me too. I have lots of dreams where I get lost going down a road and those always make me think of failure.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
8 Feb 21
Yes! This is what I keep telling myself. It just hit me really bad a few minutes ago and I'm having to sort out my thoughts which isn't easy at the moment.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203396)
• Nashville, Tennessee
8 Feb 21
@ScribbledAdNauseum Same here. You are not alone.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
8 Feb 21
@CarolDM 
I think I am going to message my friends and let them know how I am feeling. I've tried hiding it before and they always know when I am feeling sad. 
I think I am going to message my friends and let them know how I am feeling. I've tried hiding it before and they always know when I am feeling sad. 1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (91297)
• United States
8 Feb 21
Good song Amber. Yeah I had a counselor ask me what helps me..I said well it isn't you anyway
@Namelesss (3364)
• United States
8 Feb 21
It is such a beautiful day out today. I want to go for a drive but my daughter has borrowed my car. Hers has a flat.
Lots of sunshine and the temp is up a bit so chilly but not cold. Today is going to be a glorious day.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
8 Feb 21
Hope she will return it soon. Our weather is the same with bright and sunny skies. I have the blinds open to let the natural light in.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222534)
• United States
8 Feb 21
I'm glad it helps to talk about it. I agree. Sometimes vocalizing makes it feel like it's not so bad. I hope you feel better soon. My Monday is the same old, same old...except I have some new drapes to play with and my husband's heated throw came today. He's always cold; so this should be great for him.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
8 Feb 21
I hope the heated throw works well for him. Not much use for those here, at least not for me. Yes, It helps to just put it out in the universe and let it float away, that's how I'm imagining it anyway.
1 person likes this
@profree2019 (1208)
• Barquisimeto, Venezuela
29 Mar 21
Dear friend, it's a matter of statistics. If you think about the number of people who at that moment are feeling the same, you will realize that you are a small grain of salt in the waters of the sea. The important thing is the attitude that you assume in the face of this situation "Don´t worry, be Hppy".
1 person likes this
