Responsibility

United States
February 20, 2021 9:34pm CST
I've always had a soft heart for other kids that have had a rough start in life. All through my school years and it followed through my kids' school years. One of my son's friends, needed a place to stay, so we let him. We ended up with Ed, his g/f and her 7 month old baby. 2 weeks ago, Ed and my husband ended up in a fist fight. Ed left. The g/f broke up with him and we allowed her to stay because of the baby. A week ago, she decided to move in with a new b/f. Now she's asking to move back in because his landlord is claiming he is breaking his lease ( no surprise there) and his family has decided not to like her anymore. The girl is only 25 and her own family has disowned her over Ed. She claims she has no where else to go. She won't(can't) get a job. She's trying to get her disability back. If it wasn't for the baby, I'd just tell her to figure it out. The baby didn't ask for this. She's just an innocent person. I can't handle having 2 more people in the house. My budget exceeds our income as it is plus having my own issues with my creditors. I'm at a loss, not knowing how to tell her to figure this out. I have a need to protect the baby. ??????
6 people like this
6 responses
@Rashnag (30594)
• Surat, India
21 Feb 21
You are kind at heart but one needs to be practical too. She is an adult. She can take care of herself and the baby. If you want her to stay, she should provide some income to your family by doing some job. Take care
3 people like this
@erictsuma (9726)
• Mombasa, Kenya
21 Feb 21
You have a kind heart my friend. It's not easy but don't worry God will bless you.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Feb 21
That's what I keep trying to remind myself. I tend to get overwhelmed. This is one of those times
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
21 Feb 21
I know what you mean. I have opened my doors before also but it was never a good thing to do when it came down to it. These people do not have any respect for what you do for them in my experience. I know how you feel about children. I did the same for the child. I will never open it again though. It broke my heart to see the child going through it and be taken away to never be heard from again. "Family member". I am not in good health either and cannot take on anymore. My husband and I work 6 days per week as it is to make ends meet and work around the house on the 7th day. He works outside of the home and I work online with websites from home. I used to work outside of the home for years until my health went downhill. There are ways to make money if people would just do it. I do not qualify for disability money. because of my husbands income. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis along with undiagnosed conditions but I have always worked my butt off to help us out around here if at all possible. My husband makes good money to cover the bills for the most part but if we are going to buy any extras, I earn that money for us online with a few websites. You have a good heart but you have to look out for yourself also. I think I would just have to caringly turn her away and possibly lead her in the direction of some other kind of help. I know it is not easy but you have got to do what is best for YOU!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Feb 21
I didn't realize that disability could be dependent upon the spouse's income too. The attorney has never mentioned that to me. I'll have to keep my eyes open for that.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
21 Feb 21
@angelwithkids Yes. They go by household income. It isn't fair really but it is what it is. I will continue to do my work from home online as long as my health holds up to allow me tp be able to type, etc. I am so thankful just to be able to do that myself.
• United States
21 Feb 21
@stephcjh May I ask what kind of online work you do? I've been trying some stuff, but not succeeding.
1 person likes this
@eileenleyva (27562)
• Philippines
21 Feb 21
Apparently, the girl is in shambles. From being a young mother to having a troubled relationship, and hopping into another inevitably troublesome relationship again, you are her only hope. But you have to impose conditions. The new boyfriend is not allowed. If she doesn't agree, you can tell her that you'd care for the baby till she gets her bearing.
@TheHorse (207531)
• Walnut Creek, California
21 Feb 21
Where in the US are you? I have devoted much of my life to helping the poor, but I have my boundaries. When my day is done, it is done.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Feb 21
Texas
1 person likes this
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
21 Feb 21
I would have felt the need to protect the little one too. I think she needs to take more responsibility for herself and her baby. Maybe setting a time limit would help.
1 person likes this